LostAmongUs Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 Been with gf for almost a year. We live together. She communicates with her ex-husband because she has kids with him. That is 100% fine with me. After noticing that she got e-mails and texts from her ex-husband every day about random things like: funny things he saw on the net, food places to go, movies, music, his work, etc., I asked her to please stop communicating with this 1 person on anything other than their kids and finances. I know that ex's can be friends but I asked her to set a boundary because it bothered me so much. THis is the only time I have EVER asked her for anything. She agrees. I find out that she still is doing the same stuff. I confront her and she says that he e-mails and texts her even after she told him not to and she doesn't reply. NO man in his right mind would continue emails and texts if you ignore him and tell him to stop. I saw that she indeed does reply to his texts/emails and I am sure she has never set that boundary. I feel so hurt and angry that she would do this. Am I wrong? What should I do?
karnak Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 She's disrespecting you and lying to you. Not a good sign. Why did she leave her husband? Her past is a very good indicator of her future actions.
Author LostAmongUs Posted October 18, 2012 Author Posted October 18, 2012 She's disrespecting you and lying to you. Not a good sign. Why did she leave her husband? Her past is a very good indicator of her future actions. They were having issues for the past 4-5 years. She had been cheating on him and she cheated on him with me for about 5 months before she decided that her life was unhealthy for her and the relationship she had with her now ex-husband was unhealthy for their kids.
nofool4u Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 No you are not wrong. And its a good thing she is only your gf, because this means you can easily get out.
karnak Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 they were having issues for the past 4-5 years. she had been cheating on him and she cheated on him with me for about 5 months before she decided that her life was unhealthy for her and the relationship she had with her now ex-husband was unhealthy for their kids. red alert red alert red alert 1
veggirl Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 They were having issues for the past 4-5 years. She had been cheating on him and she cheated on him with me for about 5 months before she decided that her life was unhealthy for her and the relationship she had with her now ex-husband was unhealthy for their kids. UHHHHHHHHHHHHH. So you have been with her for almost a year, which means she has only been split from her husband for about 7 mos? Are they even divorced?! You know you are her rebound, yes? She NEVER had time to get over / process a DIVORCE. She just jumped straight into s.hit with you. She is clearly not over her husband...how old are you guys? Why would you move in a married (separated? divorced?) woman who is clearly on the rebound?! helloooo.... and yes, if she will cheat with you she will cheat on you.
road Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 Cheat with you Cheat on you It was ok for you to sneak in the back door Now he wants to sneak in the way you did You call foul Cry like a baby A wise man said And many men have repeated What is good for the goose is good for the gander If you were wise You would end this relationship Find out what is wrong with your morals to cheat with a married woman Repair what is wrong Then go find a free woman to have a relationship with
Try Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 They were having issues for the past 4-5 years. She had been cheating on him and she cheated on him with me for about 5 months before she decided that her life was unhealthy for her and the relationship she had with her now ex-husband was unhealthy for their kids. He was her husband and she was the mother of his children and you are in fact the other man (OM). You cheated behind his back and now that she has moved in with you for a few months, you feel that you have moral standing over him with her LOL? Get real. You are the bad guy here and he is the good guy. You have helped bring misery to the lives of this man and his children. He has every right to try to win the mother of his children back if he wants to. I hope that he does. I am pulling for him and his children. Tell him to post to this site so that we can give him pointers.
Author LostAmongUs Posted October 19, 2012 Author Posted October 19, 2012 He was her husband and she was the mother of his children and you are in fact the other man (OM). You cheated behind his back and now that she has moved in with you for a few months, you feel that you have moral standing over him with her LOL? Get real. You are the bad guy here and he is the good guy. You have helped bring misery to the lives of this man and his children. He has every right to try to win the mother of his children back if he wants to. I hope that he does. I am pulling for him and his children. Tell him to post to this site so that we can give him pointers. You want him to win her back? You want someone who hit her and never cared that she drank a bottle of wine every night and took Xanax all the time to win her back? Someone who smokes weed after the kids go to bed? Are you an idiot?
karnak Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 You want him to win her back? You want someone who hit her and never cared that she drank a bottle of wine every night and took Xanax all the time to win her back? Someone who smokes weed after the kids go to bed? Are you an idiot? If he's such a piece of trash and you're good to her, then why the hell does she keep contact with him. I guess she likes to be abused, no?
Try Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 (edited) You want him to win her back? You want someone who hit her and never cared that she drank a bottle of wine every night and took Xanax all the time to win her back? Someone who smokes weed after the kids go to bed? Are you an idiot? She cheats on her husband and tells you bad things about him to justify her cheating and you believe her? Are you an idiot? If you read this and other boards you will see that it is common for cheaters to make false claims against their spouses to justify their affairs. It is cheating 101. Knowing that their is no excuse for hitting your spouse, this claim is used as a conversation stopper, but if the claims were true her relationship with him would be much different then what you are describing. Also, why is he the bad guy being held responsible by you for her heavy drinking and using Xanax, when she was the one with the problem? You sound just like every other man (OM) that tries to rationalize why cheating with another man's wife makes them the hero in the story. You believe what you want to believe just so that you can fool yourself into still thinking of yourself as the good guy. Here is a thought. I wonder what she is telling her ex about you when she talks to him so much that makes him believe that he needs to save her from you? A couple has a right to work things out, if for no other reason than the for the sake of the children, without interference from an outside affair partner. How about you stop trying to judge other men based on only one side of the story and stay away from their wives until they are divorced. Then maybe you will have the moral high ground when that man tries to take his wife back. Since that was not the case here, my earlier post stands, Edited October 20, 2012 by Try 1
smoky eyes Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Woah people. Not every relationship can be fixed (especially if he hit her, and who are all you people assuming he didn't)? Not all cheaters are bad people either. LostAmongUs, she's probably just really screwed up by the whole thing. Abusive relationships often contain a lot of love when they're not being abusive, and in any case, after years with this man there's a certain comfort in having someone to send silly internet stuff to. I'm not quite sure why it bothers you that she does this: surely it's better that she maintains a good relationship with him, not only for the sake of the children but also for her own mental health. Unless you have any reason to believe she's trying to rekindle things with him, I would rise above it. 1
karnak Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Woah people. Not every relationship can be fixed (especially if he hit her, and who are all you people assuming he didn't)? Not all cheaters are bad people either. LostAmongUs, she's probably just really screwed up by the whole thing. Abusive relationships often contain a lot of love when they're not being abusive, and in any case, after years with this man there's a certain comfort in having someone to send silly internet stuff to. I'm not quite sure why it bothers you that she does this: surely it's better that she maintains a good relationship with him, not only for the sake of the children but also for her own mental health. Unless you have any reason to believe she's trying to rekindle things with him, I would rise above it. If I had a woman who would be in contact with an abusive ex I would label her as crazy and send her into an asylum or into his arms again.
veggirl Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 Woah people. Not every relationship can be fixed (especially if he hit her, and who are all you people assuming he didn't)? Not all cheaters are bad people either. LostAmongUs, she's probably just really screwed up by the whole thing. Abusive relationships often contain a lot of love when they're not being abusive, and in any case, after years with this man there's a certain comfort in having someone to send silly internet stuff to. I'm not quite sure why it bothers you that she does this: surely it's better that she maintains a good relationship with him, not only for the sake of the children but also for her own mental health. Unless you have any reason to believe she's trying to rekindle things with him, I would rise above it. If she was abused she should probably be in therapy, not a new relationship. Turning a blind eye to her massive issues isn't going to help the OP at all...if she wants to send "silly internet stuff" to someone, she could send it to oh I don't know, her boyfriend? If she is so fked up that she is still desiring contact with a guy who abused her then again, she needs therapy not a boyfriend. 1
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