Am I being yo-yo'd

[Gloria25]

Ok, I was the OW for a while. The MM decided to file for divorce and now they're divorced and are towards the end of tying up loose ends with assets/finances.

 

If you haven't looked up my previous posts, before he divorced, we cooled off cuz he was saying that 'if it wasn't me, it would have been someone else he was involved with' in an affair.

 

So, when we cooled off, he started seeing someone else and when I tried to hook up with him - he told me he was already seeing someone else and maybe could fit me in.

 

Well, eventually he stopped seeing the "other" OW besides me and now is free as a bird, but he says he doesn't see us as a 100% match.

 

I understand that he has his freedom and I don't wanna stand in his way if he doesn't see a future with me. Yes, I miss the sex and I miss him cuz he's a nice guy.

 

So, I try to keep my distance, but now and then will communicate with him.

 

One time he saw my online dating profile and I get an e-mail saying he misses me. When I tried to arrange a meeting, he said he's busy.

 

So, a few months after, I had e-mailed him and he told me he was in my town and while I missed him I didn't ask to meet up with him cuz Im not gonna pressure anyone and bla bla. Well, he followed up within days of my "non-interested response" saying that he wanted to see if I felt like hooking up.

 

So, a few days after we hooked up, I saw him looking at my online dating profile and I felt that it was cold of me to be looking for others within days of hooking up with him...So, I just sent him an e-mail saying 'hey, FYI, I enjoy you and our times together, but like I've told you before, I'm keeping my options open'. I also gave him some "advice" on his online dating profile.

 

Well, he responded that he needed to remind me that he doesn't want anything serious with me or anyone else. He also blocked me from seeing his online dating profile.

 

So, I don't know why he checks out my online profile if he doesn't see a future with me. Part of me feels like he's throwing me a bone every now and then to keep me on a "back-up" list. I think he is seeing others cuz now that he's "free", he has only hooked up with me once. But then again, maybe he's not hooking up with me much cuz he doesn't want me to get attached.

 

I don't know how to act. Should I just not communicate with him anymore? Only respond when he contacts me? Not hook up with him again (well don't think he'll wanna hook up anymore)?

 

Thanks for your replies...Sorry for such a long post.

[Pierre]

 

 

 

I miss him cuz he's a nice guy.

 

 

 

 

 

Well, he responded that he needed to remind me that he doesn't want anything serious with me or anyone else. He also blocked me from seeing his online dating profile.

 

So, I don't know why he checks out my online profile if he doesn't see a future with me.

 

He is not a nice guy.

 

However, sometimes , he needs to have sex and you are always available.

 

There is nothing else going on, but he knows you are clingy and willing.

[BetrayedH]

He's not into you and doesn't want you contacting him but if he is between **** buddies, he'd be glad to use you (as long as you don't, you know, talk and stuff).

 

What should you do? Decide if you're ok with that.

[whichwayisup]

Ok, I was the OW for a while. The MM decided to file for divorce and now they're divorced and are towards the end of tying up loose ends with assets/finances.

 

If you haven't looked up my previous posts, before he divorced, we cooled off cuz he was saying that 'if it wasn't me, it would have been someone else he was involved with' in an affair.

 

Just shows how he feels about you isn't the same as you felt/feel about him.

 

So, when we cooled off, he started seeing someone else and when I tried to hook up with him - he told me he was already seeing someone else and maybe could fit me in.

 

Aww, how sweet of him. (sarcasm there) Look, this guy is showing you not only in words, but in actions that you don't mean much to him and he isn't into you anymore. Chasing him after him, keeping in touch with him is just feeding his ego. My god, he has treated you poorly, yet you won't let go. Why are you still into him? He's moved on. you should too. Sorry to be blunt, but I'm wondering where YOUR anger is? Your ego and pride. IF some guy treated me like he's treated you, he'd never hear from me again. I'd be gone out of his life so fast. GET mad and forget about him. You can do better.

 

Well, eventually he stopped seeing the "other" OW besides me and now is free as a bird, but he says he doesn't see us as a 100% match.

Rejecting you again.

 

I understand that he has his freedom and I don't wanna stand in his way if he doesn't see a future with me. Yes, I miss the sex and I miss him cuz he's a nice guy.

 

What you don't see is, you aren't standing his way. You're standing in YOUR way! Meaning, you won't let go of him and for some reason you think 'one day' he'll choose you again. He's over it and best thing you can do now is never see or speak to him again. What you two shared is in the past. He has let you know on numerous occasions that he isn't interested in you.

 

So, I try to keep my distance, but now and then will communicate with him.

 

One time he saw my online dating profile and I get an e-mail saying he misses me. When I tried to arrange a meeting, he said he's busy.

He is using you for an ego feed. He likes that you are into him, but he isn't interested in dating you at all. He wants you pining after him, then as soon as you show him less interest, he finds you to get his ego feed, you react and he backs off. Cat and mouse game!

So, a few months after, I had e-mailed him and he told me he was in my town and while I missed him I didn't ask to meet up with him cuz Im not gonna pressure anyone and bla bla. Well, he followed up within days of my "non-interested response" saying that he wanted to see if I felt like hooking up.

So, a few days after we hooked up, I saw him looking at my online dating profile and I felt that it was cold of me to be looking for others within days of hooking up with him...So, I just sent him an e-mail saying 'hey, FYI, I enjoy you and our times together, but like I've told you before, I'm keeping my options open'. I also gave him some "advice" on his online dating profile.

Well, he responded that he needed to remind me that he doesn't want anything serious with me or anyone else. He also blocked me from seeing his online dating profile.

Leave him alone. He is playing you like a fiddle. He's BLOCKED you.

 

I don't know how to act. Should I just not communicate with him anymore? Only respond when he contacts me? Not hook up with him again (well don't think he'll wanna hook up anymore)?

 

You still don't get it. The guy is a total jerk off and you're chasing him, so worried about what he thinks / feels. End it and cut him out of your life. Block him. Get over him and find a single guy who will treat you with respect.

[MissBee]

He's not into you and doesn't want you contacting him but if he is between **** buddies, he'd be glad to use you (as long as you don't, you know, talk and stuff).

 

What should you do? Decide if you're ok with that.

 

Agreed.

 

He has pretty much made his position clear. It's quite offensive to me how he's treating you, but he's noticed that as douchey as he's been you've made yourself available, so he doesn't care to act any better.

 

If I were you I'd stop seeing him. He is not that nice or great. There are other people to have sex with who will want a relationship or who will at least value you and respect you more than just "Hey I don't want to be with you, but wanna hook up?" then ignore you and act busy in between.

 

How he's treating you is pretty much at the top of the "I'm not interested AND I'm gonna be a jerk about it but eff you when I'm bored" scale. Some men do feel this way but wine and dine women and pretend to respect them or want more...but this dude hasn't even bothered with the charade. Don't stick around hoping for more and hoping that one day out of nowhere he will want to date you seriously...he won't and you frankly shouldn't want him to. You're not that desperate...or are you?

 

Yes..you are allowing yourself to be yo-yo'd, because this man is not even trying to pretend like he cares. So if I were you I'd cut the string and exit the situation for good.

Edited October 18, 2012 by MissBee

[DBella]

Sounds like some narcissistic jerk. I would ignore him completely and forget about him. He clearly is not interested, so why go after him? Not worth it

[RickFox]

You are nothing but a toy to him. A piece of a$$ and an all too willing one at that.

 

Get rid of tha sack of sh.....