Grass Is Greener (GIGS) *rant*

[CptSaveAho]

LOL.... have you ever dated someone in GIGS? Before you judge someone for dumping them when they get it, try dating someone and falling in love with someone in it. Its a nightmare and if you have any form of self respect, you want to drive your car into a tree then deal with their dumb ass.

 

The fact is, it exists, its been going on for generations, you can't stop it, you can see it coming a MILE AWAY. The people that are "blindsided" just had their eyes closed. You can't work through a RELATIONSHIP with someone with GIGS, its over, it doesnt matter who does what. No self respecting person would try to make it work.

Edited October 24, 2012 by CptSaveAho

[Biscous]

I don't see why you are so against the concept of GIGS? It is primarily a theory targeted towards young adults who don't have much dating experience with other people or have been with one person most their dating life.

 

GENERALLY the signs are an abrupt break in the relationship.

 

My situation was I was in a relationship which turned long distance due to my career. There were concerns about the distance but we made time to see one another. I recall every once in a while she said she missed me and how the distance was hard on her, how she would sometimes cry for no reason. She said one time that she feels like she shouldn't have to plan a flight to see her boyfriend.

 

It was difficult on her sure. She had me buy a ticket for her and she flaked on me. The reason I know it was GIGS was because she gave me a weak excuse on why she said things wouldn't work, things she never candidly addressed to me during the relationship or at least gave me half truths about. She also later during the interim period where we broke up attacked me on things saying I never listen, how I put money over her head, a few other things to make her rationalize in her mind why I wasn't good for her. Keep in mind she was 22 and I was 28.

 

Upon reflection on my own actions I can say the distance caused issues, but I recall certain things in her own behavior that caused conflicts and I cannot say that I did any 'wrong' to her besides possibly having a complacent relationship for the two months before she was supposed to move out with me. Maybe I could have done more or she could have. At this point there's no need to rationalize why she lost those butterflies for me.

 

Many people want an answer and want closure when someone breaks up with them. GIGS and NC does allow you to move forward and improve yourself on the situation though.

[PennGuy]

@ Sav--- of course relationships take work. That's the issue in today's society. We're all about convenience, getting things done quickest, getting things done easily. Most of society these days are so lazy. Instead of putting work into a relationship that has history, but has gotten boring, they'd move right onto the next and chalk it up to: "I guess our connection is gone. This new piece is much more exciting so she's probably the one who is right for me." A lot of people don't like to put in the work to achieve greatness, they just skip around from one to the next, looking for bigger better, without ever realizing that it takes WORK!

 

Right on! Relationships get into a routine. It's life. It's how it is. It's not rose petals and chocolate covered strawberries every night. My ex had "fallen out of love with me a while ago" and tried to make it come back. I tried too. Apparently we both didn't try hard enough. It's been a week and a half and I am doing very well, which surprises the sh*t out of me. That proves to me that I checked out of the relationship also.

 

We could get back what we once had, but it would take a lot of WORK. Couples get comfortable. Sometimes too comfortable. Guys quit shaving daily...and keeping fit. Women quit wearing sexy lingerie and walk around in a bathrobe. You start asking "Want to have sex?" instead of the animalistic passion you had at the start of the relationship. Making out like teenagers goes away. RELATIONSHIPS CHANGE.

 

I could start dating Olivia Wilde (actress from "House") tomorrow, and I'm sure it would be awesome. She's pretty much the hottest thing on the planet, but after I bang Olivia a hundred times, seeing her get out of the shower nude doesn't make me crazier than a sh*thouse rat like it used to.

 

*Yep, there she is, Olivia Wilde, naked again... only seen those boobs about a million....SH*T! I just missed that home run!* Olivia, when you get dressed will you get a beer? Thanks hon." ---Proceeds to rewind DVR

 

Everything loses it's lustre. I remember getting my Xbox 360. I played it like an addict for a year or so, now I barely even turn it on. I watch more netflix on it than play games.

 

Relationships take work to keep things going. I miss my ex, but I realize now we weren't really right for each other because when things went south, we gave a half-assed attempt to make it better. If I was truly mad about her, I would've done a lot more. There's blame on both sides.

 

Grass is Greener does exist, but as a dumpee, don't act like you're above all criticism. You're not. If you actually climb off your high horse and really look at yourself, you'll be flooded with memories of what you should've done in certain situations.

 

Seriously. The day before I got dumped, she went to an outdoor fall festival shopping thing in town. I just sat there on the recliner watching college football. The thought crossed my mind of getting up and going, but I was lazy and didn't want to go, even though we never really had quality time together, I chose sitting at home alone watching football alone. She even mentioned that next day when she broke it off. Now, if I had gone that day would it have changed the next? Probably not. But, I should've been making time for her way longer than the day before the breakup. I fell into my own routine and she fell into hers. We BOTH neglected each other. I've learned so much about myself and a long term relationship that I almost want to thank her for opening my eyes.

 

So all of you dumpee's crying and moaning about how she won't find someone better than you, and it's just GIGS with no reasons behind it need to grow up, get busy living and really think and I mean THINK about what you did or qualities you have that put you in the situation you are now.

[PennGuy]

I hate to go on a rant and trivialize other people's feelings, but I see threads like "It's been 7 years and I haven't moved on" It reminds me of the Family Guy episode where Lois and Peter decide to see other people. Peter goes to visit his date for his senior prom, and she answers the door in her ratty prom gown looking like 10 pounds of sh*t in an 5 pound bag and says "I haven't washed my right hand since you held it"."

[Sasu]

Well GIGS do exist ,and no its not something that would make dumpee feel better about themselves,i wish it could

 

I was a good enough loving and caring guy in relationship ,she said she was lucky to have me ,dated for year,made plans to get married even but out of nowhere starts dating other ppl and blabla,As a result i lost my cool and started to show my undying love to her ,begging & pleading ( the only things i did wrong ) and make fool out of myself and bam dumped ! with her claiming she wants to stay single and focus on her life now.She loves me ,but doesn't want a relationship anymore .

 

Heh what i did ,as i read in article here ,i got away from her life saying i will never be stucked in a loop where i'll love her but will be treated as an ex or friend always,i gave her choices again n again and if she still wants to be single ,be it,i have no regrets or any hard feelings for her.

 

Im guessing its probably over and she would have even changed her phone no now ,but who knows i still love her same and she may come out of that GIGs someday or maybe not ,in that case ..

Will i accept her ? Of course i will ,

Will i make it easy for her ? hell no !

leaving things on time and improving yourself is best one can do .