oxidious88 Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 (edited) I dated a girl about 5 years ago that meant a lot to me despite the major flaws and incompatibility we had. We dated for about a year and I kept lying to her about stupid little things, she hated me being around my friends that did drugs, my drinking led to another problem emotionally and eventually I broke up with her. I tried to get her back about 2 weeks after the break up and she wouldn't have it. Now 5 years later, I talk to her maybe once every 6 or 7 months, especially now, only because she wants me to pick up a box I left there as she is moving. I can't bring myself to see her, I cry about it. I feel like I'm going to break down in front of her like a giant wuss and ruin the one and only last moment I will have with her. She has been dating a guy (as far as I know, still) Since about a month after our breakup. So I doubt that moment will ever turn into anything. My point is, I can't shake this feeling. My chest hurts, I can feel tears ready to roll every time I think about her. I also seemed to have developed this creepy habit for a while, of lurking her facebook page to see if she's doing ok, and...well...just to see her face. Someone please tell me how to get rid of this feeling. I deleted facebook, threw out EVERYTHING of hers and I have been dating someone else for about 6 months now too. It's just crushing my emotions to death every other day. Edited October 18, 2012 by oxidious88
PYTpisces Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 Thats tough. Sorry you have to go through this. It sounds like the keeping in touch a couple times a year is what's giving her a foothold in your life. Right now you're both emotionally unavailable to each other. You're both seeing other people. To remain fair to the new people in your lives, and fair to each other, the most responsible thing to do would be to let her go completely. No contact whatsoever for as long as you can until the thought of her doesn't hurt as bad. I know it sounds tough and impossible. You won't regret it. When we lose the poeple we love, its much like grieving a death. You have to go THRU the grief. Not resist it. It takes time, but these tears you have are not in vain.
CopingGal Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 (edited) Okay, listen. Here's the bottom line...you treated her terribly and she should stay away from you. Sorry, but that's true. But here's the good news. You admitted the things you did. You are not cold about it. You seem sorry that you destroyed your relationship. Dating someone else while you are feeling this way is not the answer. You need to do some serious work. You need to get help because you did a lot of bad things to your ex and you need to work through them and learn how to be a better person before you end up treating this new girl the same way. There's a bigger issue here than your broken heart. You need to fix yourself. You need to become a better person and dating someone while you mourn intensely over someone else is not getting it done. You've go to roll up your sleeves in jump into the dysfunction and go to work on fixing yourself. Check out some self-help books. Seek therapy. Journal. Do more. Take care of you. Edited October 18, 2012 by CopingGal
Recommended Posts