Drseussgrrl Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 Hey guys and gals, I've been bantering back and forth for a few days with a very cute guy on an OLD dating site. Disclaimer: I emailed him first. Today I get another email and it goes something like this: Hey you, That’s awesome you work in *****! I actually have a job site on 43rd (behind Maggiano’s) and will be there for another 6 to 8 weeks. We should have lunch sometime in the area. Get out Navy girl. My entire biological father’s side of the family was Navy… grandpa, grandma, uncle’s, & pops. I never followed suit though. I almost joined the Air force with my buddy after college, but backed out in the end. I don’t do orders well. Ya, I’m pretty close with my 3 siblings. I have two in Texas and one here in DC (she’s at Vassar now). (More banter about the election/debate, etc) Shoot me a text and let’s get together. (Phone number) Christopher Ok- I don't know why but I was hoping he would ask for my number first. Am I overthinking this? Do I text him? Since I emailed him first I don't want to set the precedent for doing all the pursuing. Advice?
WhatYouWantToHear Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 Wow, now that's what I call getting the game-playing going early. Kudos. Am I overthinking this? Yes. 1
Author Drseussgrrl Posted October 18, 2012 Author Posted October 18, 2012 I'm not playing games. I emailed him first. With the amount of information out there about online dating etiquette it's easy to get caught up in the do's and dont's. But thanks for your judgmental advice.
oaks Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 Ok- I don't know why but I was hoping he would ask for my number first. Am I overthinking this? Do I text him? Since I emailed him first I don't want to set the precedent for doing all the pursuing. Advice? Text him "hi, this is xxx. now you have my number." and, yes, you're over thinking this.
bobsmith76 Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 Hey guys and gals, I've been bantering back and forth for a few days with a very cute guy on an OLD dating site. Disclaimer: I emailed him first. Today I get another email and it goes something like this: Hey you, That’s awesome you work in *****! I actually have a job site on 43rd (behind Maggiano’s) and will be there for another 6 to 8 weeks. We should have lunch sometime in the area. Get out Navy girl. My entire biological father’s side of the family was Navy… grandpa, grandma, uncle’s, & pops. I never followed suit though. I almost joined the Air force with my buddy after college, but backed out in the end. I don’t do orders well. Ya, I’m pretty close with my 3 siblings. I have two in Texas and one here in DC (she’s at Vassar now). (More banter about the election/debate, etc) Shoot me a text and let’s get together. (Phone number) Christopher Ok- I don't know why but I was hoping he would ask for my number first. Am I overthinking this? Do I text him? Since I emailed him first I don't want to set the precedent for doing all the pursuing. Advice? Don't worry about ridiculous protocols. Love is very hard to find. Don't waste one opportunity. He could be the best guy you ever meet. If he is protocol won't change that. 1
yongyong Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 maybe you should preserve your Ego and move onto the next guy who will ask your number first like a gentleman? lol
Author Drseussgrrl Posted October 18, 2012 Author Posted October 18, 2012 After having many dating scenarios not work out long-term (as I'm sure you can all relate if you're single), of course I'm wanting to do things right and ensure there is the right balance of pursuit and receptivity on both sides. You'd be surprised how many dating coaches recommend never even "winking" at guys on these sites. "If he likes you enough he'll contact YOU." Well I obviously blew past that LOL. I'll do without the snarky remarks about ego and playing games, thanks. I texted him. He responded back quickly and asked me to have drinks/lunch soon. I'll let you know how it goes! 1
zebracolors Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 Hi Drseussgrrl. I certainly agree about how there needs to be that "balance between pursuit and receptivity" Hope the meet up goes good:) Also agree with BobSmith, there doesn't need to be any set script when it comes to meeting people. And my comment is just generally speaking. I don't think there is anything wrong with a woman asking for his number. But just to bring in a different thought on the topic. And mind you this depends entirely on the situation and the man. But I have also heard that many men want to feel they have earned your company and that means getting brave enough to ask her out. Its just the principle and appeals to his masculinity. I don't claim to be any kind of expert, but Id be interested to hear what some men here think about this. Does it depend on the man, as to if he is turned on by a woman that takes charge and initiates contact? And could there be a level of insecurity if he is put off by a woman asking him out?
Author Drseussgrrl Posted October 18, 2012 Author Posted October 18, 2012 I think most men will say they love it when a woman asks them out. It's flattering to them and feeds their ego. But whether or not this creates long-lasting attraction and fuels his hunter instinct is another matter. I just know that, for me, I feel MUCH better and secure in a relationship when my man is in hot pursuit and winning me over.
bobsmith76 Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 of course I'm wanting to do things right and ensure there is the right balance of pursuit and receptivity on both sides. Even if you strike the right balance of pursuit and pursued that will contribute little to the most important thing: whether or not he loves you. When a man loves a woman she can do no wrong. She can make a lot of mistakes and he will still love her. In any case, I really wish you well and I really hope everything works out for the best.
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