So there's this girl.

[AwptiK]

So, i'm 21, this girl is 19.

 

In super-short, this girl isn't quite over her ex yet, after a 2-year relationship. I know this, and was made aware by her on day 1. But she's really actively pursuing me, spending a ton of time with me (5 out of the last 8 days now..), and such. I'm simply torn between continuing to just let this happen, or to take a more active role in pursuing her.

 

In, a hopefully not very long version: (sorry.)

--Last Wed I met this girl through mutual friends and she asked me for my number. She texted me later that night and invited me to her bonfire Friday and her Halloween party on the 31st.

 

--Thurs she started texting me again, and that's when she brought up dealing with a lot of ex-related feelings still and not quite looking because she isn't 'available' just yet.

 

--Fri, bonfire. I brought my friend M and I think there were maybe 8 of us total. We barely talked, I found it lame tbh.

 

--Sat, hanging out with a few people watching a college game, and her friend R calls M, and they end up coming over for the game, and to drink. Someone made up some kissing rule in Circle Of Death. When it came down to me and this girl, I kissed her on the cheek. She asked R after, why it wasn't on the lips, and she was like, "He probably didn't know it was an option." and gave me a glance to see if I was listening. I texted her after they left, and said, "Next time ;)"

 

--Sun, the ex topic came up again over text. She said two main things, 1, she didn't want anyone to get attached while she isn't able to. 2, she doesn't want anyone to expect anything from her. Few hours later me and M went and saw a premiere with her and others, she saved me a seat. Got food after and it seemed like every time I looked up, she was looking over at me.

 

--Mon/Tues, just texting. The only real notable is that we were talking about R & M, and when she could have stated that R likes being pursued, she said, "We're tired of always chasing guys." Timing and such kinda seemed like a bit of a prod.

 

--And tonight. She texted me this afternoon and after the first few texts, she said her and R were at the mall and then immediately texted again, "And we're not doing anything tonight." Talked about going to see a movie, but that fell through. They both ended up coming over to my house to watch one. I had my arm around her for the duration.

 

--They barely even got out of the door to leave when she turned around and asked what I was doing Friday..

 

For someone who usually moves quickly and feels quickly, this is a bit of a test on myself. I've definitely held back from making moves..i'd have kissed her tonight, or Sunday if it wasn't for the ex-feelings.

 

I guess it just comes down to continuing to hold off for an indefinite amount of time, or to take a more active role in pursuing her. She's initiated 75% of conversations, invited me to hangout every time thus far, etc.

 

And i'm sure the rebound term may arise here, but mutual friends have said she's too blunt about things/feelings and simply not that kind of person. There's just a bit more going on in her head than 'friends'.

Edited October 18, 2012 by AwptiK

[Michal2012]

I read this whole story very clearly . I think she really love you and want to spend time with you.

 

You have to spend time with her and live a happy life.