bluegreen Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 What's your opinion on this : )) ? Do you share these information's with each other if not why not Where would you drive line on sharing ? Mine would be : If someone got nothing to hide why fear it. Yes I do F B and Email he has Mine as well. Banking Info its my NO NO he knows that and respects it although he teases me he has no problem giving me his but I politely refused it ...
meeji Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 I have logged into his fb once because he asked me to check something for him when he couldn't. I did not log his information because I don't feel I need that. He has never asked for mine. We don't share any passwords. It just hasn't come up at all in a necessary situation. I personally think if a couple feels like they need to exchange account info, its a bitch like bbreathing down someone's neck. If the trust is there its just not necessary. 2
Author bluegreen Posted October 18, 2012 Author Posted October 18, 2012 I see your point of course trust its important but this is way of being close and intimate as well plus being smart to trust but verify so you wont later cry ...
meeji Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 I see your point of course trust its important but this is way of being close and intimate as well plus being smart to trust but verify so you wont later cry ... The only thing close and intimate about going through your significant other's mail and stuff is reading the contacts between you and him from past memories you created together. Looking at who's contacting him on facebook has nothing to do with a connection between you and him unless he is cheating. Are you worried about that? If you need to spy on your boyfriend you should find a new one. He could have 2 facebook pages, one that you have access to and one that you don't. Same for email account. Having his passwords means nothing, to be frank. It sounds like you might be insecure or a little controlling to feel like having his information brings you guyd closer. 3
Author bluegreen Posted October 18, 2012 Author Posted October 18, 2012 Question was meant to be general : )) not about my own relationship Yes I do have his password's and he has mine is it called snooping no its not it would be if either one had no idea about it. Am I controlling cause I would want to know what he does online and who he talks to no I don't think I am its same question he asks me and I would rather find out myself if he strayed than be made fool of for God knows how long. Yes of course people can do that but lies have short legs sooner or later it would come to light how people behave on things you have insight to its pretty good indicator how they behave any other time ...
LittleTiger Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 Yes I have all his passwords and I am free to look at his Facebook page or emails whenever I want to, though I rarely do unless he asks me to. He doesn't know my passwords because, although I have given them to him, he's forgotten them, but if he wanted to look at anything any time I would happily let him do so. I have nothing to hide. It's not about lack of trust, it's about convenience. He needs me to access his stuff sometimes so I can help him out. He doesn't need regular access to mine. Works for us anyway. 1
todreaminblue Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 What's your opinion on this : )) ? Do you share these information's with each other if not why not Where would you drive line on sharing ? Mine would be : If someone got nothing to hide why fear it. Yes I do F B and Email he has Mine as well. Banking Info its my NO NO he knows that and respects it although he teases me he has no problem giving me his but I politely refused it ... I believe in sharing if i had a partner and he wanted it i would give it....i give my banking details to partners as well......as far as having something to hide the email i have is one i have used while single i might delete past communication...most of that would be discussed some of it isnt necessary to be known..........deb
todreaminblue Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 Exactly exactly???? what are we exactly saying exactly too....on drawing a line.....
HeavenOrHell Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 We did know each other's log in details for facebook, but have forgotten them, we don't need to know them, everyone has private messages personal to them, and I respect that privacy, but if it came to it I don't feel either of us would have a problem with each other reading our private messages or emails, ie, we've nothing to hide, unless it was personal stuff from friends which those friends were confiding to just me or him. We'd have no problem sharing banking info. Having a partner doesn't mean we own them and that we have the right to pry into all their personal stuff, you only need to share email info etc if there's a valid reason for it, like LittleTiger. What's your opinion on this : )) ? Do you share these information's with each other if not why not Where would you drive line on sharing ? Mine would be : If someone got nothing to hide why fear it. Yes I do F B and Email he has Mine as well. Banking Info its my NO NO he knows that and respects it although he teases me he has no problem giving me his but I politely refused it ... 1
HeavenOrHell Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 We trust each other, so we've no need to 'verify' anything. I see your point of course trust its important but this is way of being close and intimate as well plus being smart to trust but verify so you wont later cry ... 2
Author bluegreen Posted October 18, 2012 Author Posted October 18, 2012 we've nothing to hide, unless it was personal stuff from friends which those friends were confiding to just me or him. This was a whole point of my post and I really liked rest of your answer as well ...
Author bluegreen Posted October 18, 2012 Author Posted October 18, 2012 Honestly trust is not something that can't ever be broken it can and in my opinion even if someone never gave me a reason to doubt does not trusting blindly carry its own risks ? Again am speaking generally
HeavenOrHell Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 (edited) Trusting blindly isn't a good idea, it implies to me that a person is trusting someone even if there have been red flags, if they're feeling unsure about whether to trust that person. I only trust people who have 'earned' their trust as in I know them well enough to know what they are an aren't capable of, I trust my partner when it comes to other women, however I don't trust that he has had the courage to tell me when he's not happy about things, (I am the same in this respect) or is unable to do something I would like him to do, because he's a very closed person, and lacks confidence, but not sure if this would be classed as a trust issue or not. I trust him not to deliberately hurt me, and I trust him not to cheat on me, and I trust that he would tell me if he had feelings for someone else before acting on it. I trust him 100% to not betray anything I have told him in confidence, even if we split up. If I tell him something private, it goes no further. I trust him with my bank details, any info like that, I trust him with pics and movies of us, I know him well enough to know he would never betray me in any way, even if we split and were upset with each other. I already know that if we split it won't be hateful, same as with me and last ex, so if we split I'll still trust him. Honestly trust is not something that can't ever be broken it can and in my opinion even if someone never gave me a reason to doubt does not trusting blindly carry its own risks ? Again am speaking generally Edited October 18, 2012 by HeavenOrHell 2
Author bluegreen Posted October 18, 2012 Author Posted October 18, 2012 In that case you are very blessed : ))) but alas some of us are just hopeless suspicions doubtful worry warts Scorpios like me ...
Els Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 We share everything, have always had. I think it's the manner in which it is done that matters, though. Sharing freely is key. If he had demanded all my passwords, I would think twice about our R. Instead, he freely gave his to me, for various reasons, a little at a time. As he did so, I reciprocated.
january2011 Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 I shared mine once - I don't think he remembers it though. He doesn't seem to have any interest in wanting to check my emails. In the past, I've mentioned that if I asked him to, would he share his and he told me that he doesn't have a problem with it, as he's got nothing to hide - but I've never requested his login details. He tells me that he mostly gets spam from people called "Natasha," and requests to send money to a prince in Nigeria, so I don't think that a dig into his email accounts would be all that juicy or interesting.
Author bluegreen Posted October 19, 2012 Author Posted October 19, 2012 We share everything, have always had. I think it's the manner in which it is done that matters, though. Sharing freely is key. If he had demanded all my passwords, I would think twice about our R. Instead, he freely gave his to me, for various reasons, a little at a time. As he did so, I reciprocated. There is a lots of truth there as well he is more laid back chill type and I am more of the temperamental one in our case I asked but offered mine as well right away ...
HeavenOrHell Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 Not sure it means I'm blessed as such, it's more that I am fussy when it comes to partners! I worry a lot about some things too, but not others. In that case you are very blessed : ))) but alas some of us are just hopeless suspicions doubtful worry warts Scorpios like me ...
blugirl Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 There was a time when I had to cut off off Facebook to study for the upcoming exam so I gave him my PW and told to change it so that I couldn't access my acc and procrastinate. He read some of my PMs ('a bit', as he said) but I have nothing to hide so it didn't bother me. Then I asked for the new PW and changed it to my old one again so that he wouldn't access it again. I don't need his passwords and he doesn't need mine.
HeavenOrHell Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 Why did he read your private messages?! I would never do that to my partner and I know he wouldn't read mine, not because there's nothing to hide, but it's still an invasion of privacy. There was a time when I had to cut off off Facebook to study for the upcoming exam so I gave him my PW and told to change it so that I couldn't access my acc and procrastinate. He read some of my PMs ('a bit', as he said) but I have nothing to hide so it didn't bother me. Then I asked for the new PW and changed it to my old one again so that he wouldn't access it again. I don't need his passwords and he doesn't need mine.
Author bluegreen Posted October 19, 2012 Author Posted October 19, 2012 I guess he assumed since he had it he could do it : )) besides nothing anyone wants found should not even be there right ?
ms_daisy21 Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 My bf and I know each other's passwords for facebook, email, and banking. But this came over time (4 years) and mostly necessity. I would be on the road and call him; "I totally forgot to check this, can you log on to my account and tell me such and such." I never use it to spy on him or vice versa. Nothing to hide. We trust each other. I think someone else brought this up, but if he randomly demanded all my passwords, that'd definitely be a red flag. I think you share whatever you're comfortable with and your partner has to be okay with that.
Author bluegreen Posted October 20, 2012 Author Posted October 20, 2012 True it does take a time for trust to develop and asking or giving such sensitive info over just few weeks its insane and huge red flag after all if you have been together 4 years you already have shared everything else to ...
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