bluefairy812 Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 why do they do this? i have told him over and over again to leave me alone and not contact me, it has been made a point that we are both supposed to move on, yet somehow, someway, every couple of weeks, i get a text message or call. he wants to know how i'm doing, what i have been up to, if i am dating anyone, if i am having sex with anyone..............even told me that he was thinking of asking me to go to dinner with him because he missed me... (as a friend, LOL) he said he stopped himself from calling me because he remembered what i told him, that i can't be friends! he also said his life isn't that fun anymore, doesn't have too many friends, is not in school right now, thinks of me everyday and that the new girl isn't very interesting. he ALSO said he has collected a bunch of numbers from girls but none of caught his attention. he also made it a point to indirectly say he misses having sex. i don't get it. is this is way of keeping me around? because another girl hasn't caught his attention? such b.s.. i absolutely need to block his number.
KatZee Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 I think the thing you're not understanding is that YOU are in control of NC, not him. Even as an ex you're still giving him all the power. He's clearly a sad, lonely little boy. Of course he's going to reach out and be stupid. He sends you a text? Calls you? You can do one of two things. 1. Change your number 2. Block his number If you're serious about maintaining NC what's stopping you from implementing it fully? 2
Author bluefairy812 Posted October 17, 2012 Author Posted October 17, 2012 i have been serious and then i think "oh wow, he's contacting me, ignore!" a week later he is still contacting me, like a boyfriend would contact a girlfriend, so i give in. thinking maybe he has changed his mind.
geegirl Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 the new girl isn't very interesting. he ALSO said he has collected a bunch of numbers from girls but none of caught his attention. he also made it a point to indirectly say he misses having sex. i don't get it. is this is way of keeping me around? because another girl hasn't caught his attention? such b.s.. i absolutely need to block his number. Utterly disgusting for him to actually spew these words to you. There are no prospects, therefore he seeks attention from you. It's clear as daylight with the quote above. 1. New girl not interesting - Let's see if I can get Blue to pay me attention 2. List of prospects not interesting - Let's see if I can get blue to pay me attention 3. Misses sex - Let's see if I can get Blue to give me some sex Total disrespect. Yes, he does this because you once were falling at his feet. He feels he can manipulate those feelings once again and make you fulfill his needs. Block his number and move on from the douche. He obviously has no empathy or care for your feelings or your boundaries. 3
sweetkiwi Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 if you like this rollercoaster stay on. But it always ends in the same way. With you being manipulated and used. Love yourself and one day someone else will be able to love you too.
River Rain Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 I changed my cell number and blocked his email from day 1 and I never regretted it. I never broke NC and I have no idea if he did or not, and that's how I moved on. I suggest you don't even block the number, just change it, then you won't be tempted to check if he contacted you or not. You have to rip off the bandaid in one fell swoop! 1
Author bluefairy812 Posted October 17, 2012 Author Posted October 17, 2012 the sh*ttiest part about this is that we spoke as if we were still together. we caught up on things, we discussed what has been going on, but in the end, i was left with an empty feeling. that conversation didn't change anything. here i am, still missing him while he is out and about. he told me him and the new girl are not boyfriend and girlfriend. just hanging out and getting to know each other but its awkward because shes younger. fml. thanks guys.
geegirl Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 the sh*ttiest part about this is that we spoke as if we were still together. we caught up on things, we discussed what has been going on, but in the end, i was left with an empty feeling. that conversation didn't change anything. here i am, still missing him while he is out and about. he told me him and the new girl are not boyfriend and girlfriend. just hanging out and getting to know each other but its awkward because shes younger. fml. thanks guys. Of course you were left with an empty feeling. Your needs were once again not being met. I've had the misfortune of dealing with these types and they give you just enough to make you keep coming back for more. And we keep going back hoping, maybe this time it's going to be different. If the pattern is such, accept that it will most likely keep going that way. He has to tell you he and the girl are not an item. If he told you they were an item, he'd lose you as a benefit. Besides, he's treated you poorly, even now, and he's probably playing games with this woman as well. Plus it makes him look like a douche if he told you he is dating her but trying to hit you up for sex. In any case, just bad behavior all round. Whether she's younger or older, she hasn't won a prize. You're so much better off away from him. I know it hurts but just know that in time, you'll thank your lucky stars. 1
Author bluefairy812 Posted October 17, 2012 Author Posted October 17, 2012 thanks geegirl <3 katzee <3 and everyone else as always. you guys make me see the things i am blinded to. going to block his number now. this hurts
geegirl Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 thanks geegirl <3 katzee <3 and everyone else as always. you guys make me see the things i am blinded to. going to block his number now. this hurts I'm sorry Blue. I know it hurts. In time you'll realize that complete NC is a true blessing. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 Seems like this has been resolved for now, but yeah, NC is for you. If you have to talk to him, ask him straight out "Do you want to get back together, yes or no?" and don't accept a response other than those two. If he says no or is noncommital, tell him to leave you alone. 1
Author bluefairy812 Posted October 17, 2012 Author Posted October 17, 2012 Seems like this has been resolved for now, but yeah, NC is for you. If you have to talk to him, ask him straight out "Do you want to get back together, yes or no?" and don't accept a response other than those two. If he says no or is noncommital, tell him to leave you alone. i actually have been wanting to ask him that question, but wasn't sure.... maybe i should now.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 i actually have been wanting to ask him that question, but wasn't sure.... maybe i should now. If he keeps harrassing you, then I say the hell with it and ask him. Put him on the spot and put the screws on him since he doesn't seem to have a problem putting you in an awkward spot. 1
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