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Guilty conscious. Bad gay relationship :( I messed up


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Well, i posted here a few days ago. My ex just broke up with me. Some background, we went through a lot together in 5 months, I had to deal with his severe depression, anxiety, anger issues, disrespect, and bipolarity, mood swings,etc. Anyways, a month ago, we had our first huge fight where he wanted to kick me, spitted on my face because i asked him not to leave crumbs on my carpet. I tried to break up with him, but i didn't. A week after, another fight. He whipped me with a chord. Last time, same thing. i wanted to leave and i tried to make him stay and things got ugly.

In every single case, he says I provoked him and he snapped since he is very vulnerable and sensitive at this moment. he asked me several times to watch every single thing I do so i wouldn't provoke him. I'm not gonna lie, at the end I was so fed up, that whatever he did bothered me :(

Now, I feel that is was all my fault that he snapped and did all those things to me. I'm feeling that I failed. I tried to help, but at the end I lost it and also snapped. From the beginning he said extremely rude things to me. i wasnt perfect either but he expected way to much from me.

i'm sure he hates me since he broke up with me. Not in the best terms, he wanted to remain friends but I couldn't say agree to that.

Posted
Well, i posted here a few days ago. My ex just broke up with me. Some background, we went through a lot together in 5 months, I had to deal with his severe depression, anxiety, anger issues, disrespect, and bipolarity, mood swings,etc. Anyways, a month ago, we had our first huge fight where he wanted to kick me, spitted on my face because i asked him not to leave crumbs on my carpet. I tried to break up with him, but i didn't. A week after, another fight. He whipped me with a chord. Last time, same thing. i wanted to leave and i tried to make him stay and things got ugly.

In every single case, he says I provoked him and he snapped since he is very vulnerable and sensitive at this moment. he asked me several times to watch every single thing I do so i wouldn't provoke him. I'm not gonna lie, at the end I was so fed up, that whatever he did bothered me :(

Now, I feel that is was all my fault that he snapped and did all those things to me. I'm feeling that I failed. I tried to help, but at the end I lost it and also snapped. From the beginning he said extremely rude things to me. i wasnt perfect either but he expected way to much from me.

i'm sure he hates me since he broke up with me. Not in the best terms, he wanted to remain friends but I couldn't say agree to that.

 

I've been depressed. I've been angry. I've been so fed up with the world that it seemed like nothing would ever get better.

 

I have never attacked another person.

 

Get as far away from him as you can and don't look back.

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