ZhaoZilong5 Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 (edited) Long story short, my ex broke up with me 4 months ago due to distance for somebody else. That guy didn't work out, and she was afraid that I would hold a grudge against her, so she bounced to his friend two weeks later. Anyway, she's been missing me a lot, regrets breaking up with me, and would love to give us another try if not for her BF. Her feelings for me came back, and they're similar to her BF. She even kept all of my gifts to her, some even framed on her walls. The only advantage he has now is the distance. Her BF can sometimes be immature, and her insecurity caused him to break up with her for a few days, during which he said some hurtful things, but she still took it as her fault. Well, after nearly losing him, she told me she loves him, and even though she regrets leaving me, she's grateful for having him. She's determined to make it work. She decided to try to ignore her feelings for me and put how much she misses me in the back of her mind. She moved all of my gifts to her and her mementos of me into the bathroom lol. Of course, at this point, I went NC again. I told her I'm not going to be her backup plan, so at this point, I'm moving on. If they dissolve, then she'll probably seek me out down the road, but we both know that realistically, I'll probably be dating somebody else. Regardless of your answers, I'm going to stay in NC and try to move on. With that said, I'm still curious though. Do relationships like theirs tend to work out due to her determination, or will it blow up in their faces? She's happy, but the ball is really in his court. She's emotionally immature and insecure with communication problems and trust issues, whereas he's being very cautious of her (rightfully so), and he's immature and also can't communicate well, similar to her. However, I've seen two immature people grow together and work out in the long run, but in that case, neither one of them had strong feelings for a third party. She talks about me enough that he's noticing she misses me. I don't think he knows how much we talked and the things she and I talked about within the past 3 weeks though before I went NC again. Sorry about the lazy, undetailed typing. It's late, and I'm getting ready to go to bed lol. Edited October 17, 2012 by ZhaoZilong5
sweetkiwi Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 so the question is do they stand a chance? Why does it matter to you unless you want her back? And why is all this only up to her? Saving the relationship, starting a new one with you, or another friend of the exs. Sounds like major trouble. Moving on is the best thing for you and don't concern yourself with her.
NavyAirTraffic Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 She was looking to get back together with you while with someone else??? What do you think will happen when you guys enter a tough stretch again?? Do you think she won't do the same thing to you, or did the same thing for you with him? Who cares about her new relationship! All of the time you focus on that is time wasted, time you never get back.
Mr Reptile Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 Haha this gave me a good laugh, this girl has NO self-esteem. Jumping from relationship to relationship, guy to guy. Please, you are better off without her. It's simple: She can't be alone. And she uses these guys (maybe even you) to feel appreciated and get attention for her own winning and ego boost. Yea, go NC and don't take her back. 2 weeks and already find a second guy after the one she dumped you for? Girls these days..
Liz2012 Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 I think this girl has some issues to deal with after she's done with this guy, so fine, if the BU, fine, but then make sure she has time on her own to deal with things because it's just going to go on and on and on over time the same way. If you do get back you have to solve the issues that were there before....in the end goal way that's more important than if she's bouncing around other guys, and if you get back etc,...
Author ZhaoZilong5 Posted October 17, 2012 Author Posted October 17, 2012 so the question is do they stand a chance? Why does it matter to you unless you want her back? And why is all this only up to her? Saving the relationship, starting a new one with you, or another friend of the exs. Sounds like major trouble. Moving on is the best thing for you and don't concern yourself with her. Do I want her back? It depends actually. I wouldn't take her back immediately, and I definitely wouldn't take her back now. I told her that I'd be moving on, but if they don't work out, then she knows where to find me to see where we stand. That's also only after she heals if they BU and figures her **** out. I meant it's only up to him if they BU. I think she's still in the end honeymoon phase (telling me about his negative traits while overlooking them at the same time), but either way, she went from being uncertain about her happiness to being happy 2 days after they got back together. If they BU, then it's probably going to be his decision. With that, I went NC again. She was looking to get back together with you while with someone else??? What do you think will happen when you guys enter a tough stretch again?? Do you think she won't do the same thing to you, or did the same thing for you with him? Who cares about her new relationship! All of the time you focus on that is time wasted, time you never get back. No, she wasn't. We were talking about our feelings, our BU, etc. If the chance happens for reconciliation, then I wouldn't take it unless she's a healthier person. I like who she is as a person, but I don't like who she is emotionally. She's like my younger self. I'd never date my younger self, but I'd date my current self...assuming there's a female clone of me LOL! I care, actually. I don't think it's possible to ever waste time, not right now. I'm actually living a life lol. Haha this gave me a good laugh, this girl has NO self-esteem. Jumping from relationship to relationship, guy to guy. Please, you are better off without her. It's simple: She can't be alone. And she uses these guys (maybe even you) to feel appreciated and get attention for her own winning and ego boost. Yea, go NC and don't take her back. 2 weeks and already find a second guy after the one she dumped you for? Girls these days.. Yeah, I agree with all of that, and a part of me probably felt it was humorous before. I wouldn't take her back now, but I would like to have that option in the future. People grow, but knowing that, I'd still be very, very cautious. I might not even want her back at all if she comes back around come to think of it... I think this girl has some issues to deal with after she's done with this guy, so fine, if the BU, fine, but then make sure she has time on her own to deal with things because it's just going to go on and on and on over time the same way. If you do get back you have to solve the issues that were there before....in the end goal way that's more important than if she's bouncing around other guys, and if you get back etc,... Definitely. During our conversations, she was able to identify her issues, so now she's trying to fix them while in her current relationship. I'm not sure how well that will work out or not, but after almost losing her BF, she went into panic mode and re-doubled her efforts. Took down her mementos of me, ignoring her feelings for me, etc. That's great. A part of me wishes she finds everlasting happiness and that they work out. She also wants me to be happy and find somebody that I deserve. At the same time, of course, I left the door open. She agreed that if they do BU, then she would need to spend some time alone to not make me into a rebound. I would also have to find out if she has any residual feelings for her ex, if we agree on the concepts of love and commitment, etc. Anyway, do relationships like hers last? Almost all signs point to it being a rebound, but of course, there's never a guarantee that it is.
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