mrs.d Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 I have been with my husband for many years and 95% of the time we have a fantastic relationship, and he truly is my best friend. The problem is that the 5% of the the time he seems to be very emotionless and cold-hearted. When I try to talk to him about anything that I'm feeling he basically shuts down, and the same can be said when it comes to his feelings. He literally gets angry at me for trying to get him to open up, and he will give me the silent treatment. I love him to death, but sometimes his attitude makes me feel like he doesn't care enough to try. How can I get him to open up to me and show me that he has a heart?
MonsterMash Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 I have been with my husband for many years and 95% of the time we have a fantastic relationship, and he truly is my best friend. The problem is that the 5% of the the time he seems to be very emotionless and cold-hearted. When I try to talk to him about anything that I'm feeling he basically shuts down, and the same can be said when it comes to his feelings. He literally gets angry at me for trying to get him to open up, and he will give me the silent treatment. I love him to death, but sometimes his attitude makes me feel like he doesn't care enough to try. How can I get him to open up to me and show me that he has a heart? Because men have learned that if you open up to women you will be seen as weak....so they don't do it. Sounds like you have a good marriage really. 1
january2011 Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 He's great 95% of the time, why must he also give that small 5% to you as well? And why does keeping 5% to himself making him have no heart when he's already giving 95%? I don't think it's great that he gets angry in response to you and gives you the silent treatment. But equally, I don't think it's fair for you to harangue him when he doesn't feel ready or willing to talk. Potentially, because nothing is wrong and/or there's nothing to talk about. I've found that many guys need some alone time in their mancave/nothing box to decompress and unwind. Then once they've done that, they are ready to engage again. Perhaps this is just your husband's way of carving out a litlte time for himself and he's very protective of that. I'd advise you to try talking about the subject when you know he's in a good mood and just ask what's up that 5% of the time when he seems emotionally distant. Create a safe environment for him to share his feelings without judgement or accusation. 1
strongnrelaxed Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 Frankly I find you repulsive. To start a thread with this tile and then complain that you cannot have him in a perfect state 100% of the time and that you only get 95 pct and he is cold hearted because of it. Wow. Men, keep reading. This is perfect. This will be your wife the day you say " I do" the very next day she will be on this website saying things like this about you.
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