radishes Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 Hi everyone, My story in short is that me and my ex broke up about almost 2 weeks ago after a 4 year relationship (We've had 2 breaks before). I understand I'm still recovering and am trying really hard to just live happy on a day to day basis. Thoughts of him don't cross as often anymore, or at least they don't bother me that much unless I'm sitting in the car on the way to work listening to sad brokenhearted love songs. The thing is some things have been bothering lately: 1) I noticed I've become a bit obsessive (maybe its my head trying to fill the space that's suddenly gone missing). Not the check where my ex is at or what he's doing obsessive (though I tend to look out for his car on the road) but rather latching onto a male friend, and trying to figure out if he likes me, or if I have some feelings for him. Or trying to get him to like me. (Which I kind of feel like its me trying to put my feelings somewhere else) 2) I noticed that each day feels a little empty, almost like I'm not using the day to the fullest extent even though I see friends and go to work. Is that just because he's not there? Does that feeling subside soon? How can I learn to accept this and just live with the feeling and be satisfied? Its just the feeling that each day has been longer than I can possibly imagine. And I see him by accident occasionally, and that always completely throws me off. How do I recover and distract myself after he disrupts my day like that? (unintentionally) I just want to heal. I know its not an overnight process kind of thing, but everyday just feels so slow like its not moving fast enough... and how do I stop trying to latch on to somebody? And just be okay with being by myself? Thanks for listening!
CopingGal Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 How do I stop trying to latch on to somebody? And just be okay with being by myself? By doing extraordinary things. 1
River Rain Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 You need time. I had that empty feeling for a while, but the more I distracted myself and stayed active, the quicker it went away. But I kind of took the attitude of a full-on assault to get over him. I started to meet new people right away, not with the intention of getting together, but just to be social. I talked a lot about it, kept (and still am keeping) super busy, and for goodness' sake, don't listen to the sad music, that's like trying to make yourself feel bad! There's no quick fix, especially if you occasionally see him around, you have to be patient with yourself. As for the male friend...I think you're just trying to fill that empty void of loneliness. You want to know if he likes you, you're trying to boost your ego, because you need to feel good about yourself. Maybe find other ways to do that instead, like working out or doing something creative?
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