Long Distance GF totally went cold after a great weekend... wtf

[ayudameplease]

Me and this girl met at a school for our current job and had a very nice relationship. She wanted to be more than just a hook up and also more than just a fling at the school so she asked about seeing each other afterwards. We were both going to different states after we graduated. Only 7.5 hours away but still very far. I told her she can come visit me whenever and would love to see her also but kept it casual. She told me she loved me. I stated it back after a few weeks. Once we graduated and got settled in different states, we talked on the phone for a month every night. Finally she decided to buy tickets for a flight to come see me. It just so happens she had to cancel because her supervisor told her she couldn't take off monday. I suggested we meet up in the middle by driving. She wasted 315.00 on the trip. I book a hotel room. When she sees me she jumps on me and hugs me. As soon as we get to the room we are in each others arms and you know the rest. I told her to not worry about dinner or the room since she paid for the ticket. I have the itinerary so it wasn't bull****. We went to eat, the zoo and a long hike. She told me she loved me a few times and i echoed. The last night we head back to the hotel and she is in my arms telling me how sad it is that we have to part again. Well we go on our way and She texts me that she had a great weekend...

 

I hear from her the next day and she is texting me "i miss you already!"

 

The next day she calls me right when she is done from work. We only spent two minutes of talking and i tell her"babe i gotta go, me and my roommate are going jogging, i'll call you later." I didn't call her later, meanwhile at 1am she sends me two pictures she bought at the zoo of us and takes a picture of them where they are sitting on her kitchen sink. The photos caption: "my kitchen." At 7am I send a pic of a keychain photo of us she bought for me with the caption "everywhere i go..."

 

I call her that night at 10pm and no answer. I wait it out the next day and don't hear from her. Two days later I call her again around 10pm. I get a text response: "hey you've been calling me really late i'm in bed by 10." That was it, very cold... and my response "so call me when your up, haven't heard from you."

 

The next day I don't hear from her and around 7pm friday night i decide to text her... "babe are you ok?" I get this:

 

"I've been thinking i haven't been nice to u and youre very good to me its not fair for you don't think we should continue this... We should just go our seperate ways."

 

Shocked I reply:

 

"What?! Lol how do you go so cold all of a sudden? At least call me... The whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing was dumb anyways, would've rather just been friends"

 

Not sure why i replied like that...

 

She replies... "ok well have a nice life"

 

I'm calling and texting her now to pick up the phone. She finally picks up and i ask her what is up? She says I annoy her and its just who i am and she can't change me and doesn't want to. I'm asking her what is she talking about. She gives me these reasons:

 

1. i interrupt her when she talks all the time

2. I have a pattern on the phone where i am always the first to hang up and she brings up the day after our trip how we didnt' even talk for more than 2 minutes and i was like "gotta go jog"

3. she tells me she gets annoyed during sex when i change positions, meanwhile she told me that weekend that it was the best sex she ever had. "i love having sex with you babe"

 

Right then and there i get a notification that she deleted me on facebook

 

I'm asking her why she did that? We are 7.5 hrs away its not like we couldn't keep in touch.

 

She also kept mentioning that she was really pissed that she paid 315.00 to come see me and can't get refunded. Also that i spent so much money on us when we saw each other. She feels that its too much of a waste of money. I pretty much agreed at this point and said look i really enjoyed knowing you but don't understand why you are deleting me out of your life. I hung up

 

Gave it radio silence for 2 days then called again Sunday... no answer

Tried again today... no answer and texted her: "baby i know you still love me, call me please

 

 

I don't understand how she went so cold all of a sudden. I am confused and haven't been able to eat or enjoy anything. I'm thinking of texting or calling one more time. After that im deleting everything of her.

 

My ex before her didn't delete me, will still keep in contact. I don't understand this behavior. I know she still has feelings or else she wouldn't just delete me like that. I need advice, thanks

 

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[NoMoreJerks]

How long were you two together?

[Calico]

Apparently, the great weekend wasn't so great in her opinion.

 

You need to stop contacting her. There is no gain in continuing to pester her with calls and texts. Yes, you do pester her at this point and while I understand the compulsive "need" to do this, it will not achieve what you want. Instead, it will push her away more (she'll feel harassed), and -- more importantly -- you hurt yourself by these fruitless and slightly obsessive attempts to make contact. You drive yourself crazy.

 

Step back a little and ask yourself why you want to have her in your life. Consider all that she said to you. Aren't you the least bit offended by that refund comment? Aren't you asking yourself, "Who the hell does she think she is?". Why, exactly, do you want her around? She's obviously not wanting to have you in her life, right now, so why do you want to be in hers?

 

Are you sure it's not about your ego? Ask yourself that. Is it the girl you miss or is it the way she handled this that makes you feel powerless and upset?

[ayudameplease]

Apparently, the great weekend wasn't so great in her opinion.

 

You need to stop contacting her. There is no gain in continuing to pester her with calls and texts. Yes, you do pester her at this point and while I understand the compulsive "need" to do this, it will not achieve what you want. Instead, it will push her away more (she'll feel harassed), and -- more importantly -- you hurt yourself by these fruitless and slightly obsessive attempts to make contact. You drive yourself crazy.

 

Step back a little and ask yourself why you want to have her in your life. Consider all that she said to you. Aren't you the least bit offended by that refund comment? Aren't you asking yourself, "Who the hell does she think she is?". Why, exactly, do you want her around? She's obviously not wanting to have you in her life, right now, so why do you want to be in hers?

 

Are you sure it's not about your ego? Ask yourself that. Is it the girl you miss or is it the way she handled this that makes you feel powerless and upset?

 

This is a woman that said she loved me, gave her the best sex she ever had, missed me tremendously and then went cold all of a sudden. Totally flipped the script. Ego? I'm just utterly confused

[Calico]

It doesn't matter what she said in the past. What matters is what she's doing now. There is no point in trying to understand what goes on in her head. She may well be bat **** crazy and if you try to understand that, you'll go bat **** crazy too.

 

My ex told me she loved me, needed me, wanted to be together forever. In the meantime, in the 3rd year, she cheated on me with a younger guy for months and planned a new relationship with him. Even when it all came out, she'd not let me go. When I tried, she'd fall apart on me, cry, be devastated, visibly in agony. When I finally walked away from the mess, she made her new relationship with the other guy official ... on the very next day. I'd be in a mental hospital now if I tried to understand that.

 

Point is, you'll never know what's going on in someone else's head. Often, they don't even know that themselves. You never know if what they say is true. What you CAN do is to accept "what is" and walk away from it when it's fruitless. What other option do you have anyway? Pestering her more doesn't give you better results. Even if you want her back, leaving her alone is the most promising approach. And if she doesn't come back (you may be lucky if she doesn't), you'll feel better too. Leaving this be for now is win-win for you.

 

You really have no choice in this. Take care of yourself and let this be for a while. See what happens. There's no rush.