So does he want to give us another chance

[Broken beyond repair]

Please help me understand what's going on with my ex. We had been together 9years on and off it's always been quite complicated so I'm just going to cut to this year he has two kids to his ex and she got ill with cancer he moved in to support her and I was there for him he treated me terribly during this time I was convinced he would have preferred it was me who was sick but I knew how hard this was for him so I never complained. Thankfully she made a full recovery but months later he was still running around for his ex which i did understand after all she has his children but i was jealous and I was very hurt and pushed him away I just wanted him to show me he loved me and to put me first just once I really messed up instead of fighting for us he walked away I never thought we were over after all this became a pattern for us until I found out a few months ago he was with someone else i begged him for another chance but he refused to give me the time of day I am heartbroken this man is the love of my life 3 weeks ago I seen him on a night out and we yelled at each other it got really heated and we ended up passionately kissing in the rain ( like a real life romantic film) he told me he wanted a life with me but over the next two days he ignored me then finally tx me a message ment for his girlfriend saying he loves her so I put everything down to alcohol talking and drowned my sorrows in Ben and jerry ice cream then (honestly guys almost there) last week he tx and asked to see me we spoke for 4 hrs about the past and work and the kids it was like nothing had happened it should have been awkward but it wasn't and we had sex that was Monday then again on Wednesday and Friday now hes being quite dry with me he says he's never regretted anything with me but I think he does I think I should give him space I don't want to push him further away I feel so broken if he walks away again I dont know how il cope please help xxx