rainbowgirl1 Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 I dated my ex for 4 years and we broke up about a year and a half ago. He had a really hard time getting over it, and would bother me all the time. He is bi-polar and we just couldn't be together anymore. I have moved on and have been with my new boyfriend for a year now. My ex gave me a lot of trouble when he found out I was seeing someone new and was suicidal for a while. Then he met his new girlfriend. I was very happy to hear that he moved on. The problem is I still can't get my ex out of my life. His new girlfriend has made friends with my mother on facebook. This really bothered me. My parents have kept in touch with my ex even though I have told them I'm uncomfortable with this. The problem is that his new girlfriend flaunts her friendship with my mom and posts all over my mom's facebook page making plans to go out with her and my dad with my ex. This has baffled me. I can't understand why his new girlfriend would want to be friends with the parents of their boyfriends ex. My new boyfriend is also having a problem with this. He feels that my parents like my ex better than him. My ex even goes to family events. I have spoken to my parents and they have stopped going out with my ex and this girl, but this hasn't stopped this girl from trying to be friends with my mom. My friends also say that my ex is still hung up on me, which I have a hard time believing since he is with this new girl. One of my friends think that this girl might be pretending to be my ex's girlfriend and is only his friend and he's trying to make me jealous. This sounds all to unbelievable to me. I guess I'm just curious if anyone thinks that I should be worried that my ex is still hung up on me since I can't seem to get him out of my life. He no longer bothers me but now him and his new girlfriend are bothering my parents. He has always been unstable and I'm worried that he is stalking me through my parents. I'm sorry if this sounds incoherent, I just really feel uncomfortable with this whole situation. Any thoughts?
mtnbiker Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 This is beyond strange. Even if your parents disagreed with your choice to break up with him, they are your parents. The fact that you have discussed this with them and they still continue makes me empathetic for you. I say just do your best to ignore things and reiterate to your parents your feelings and how they are doing you wrong.
Mrlonelyone Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 After four years it's just possible that your parents forged a genuinely friendly relationship with your EX that is independent of your relationship with him. Such is what happens when you bring someone in to your family, and four years of a relationship does that. They may like your ex better than your current BF, they know your ex and don't know your current BF. Your ex cannot be too too bad you were with him for years. That says something. Over time as your EX gets more integrated with his new GF and your new BF gets more integrated with your family everyone will move on. These things don't resolve themselves overnight. Feelings do not just turn off and on, it only seems that way in retrospect.
BeyondtheClouds Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 OP, I feel for you and have been in the same situation. Once I dropped this guy Iwas dating he befriended the rest of my family. I now realise that whenever I told my sister what I was planning to do, she would tell him and that's how he was able to show up at places where I was. I had only dated the guy for 6 months. My mother and my sister also maintained relations with my brother's ex-wife. THERE WERE NO CHILDREN INVOLVED WHATSOEVER. And they were inviting her to family activities even while my brother was attending with his future wife. This at least taught my brother that ex's of siblings are off limits for friendships. I believe that family members should never engage in activities that create competition with other family members. So what if you were dating the guy for 4 years, your parents are really that socially inept that they have to mack you for friends. If he is emotionally unstable, this could blowup in their face. Do you think your ex is stalking you? following you around in real life and talking about you to mutual friends. My suggestion if you can swing it, is to simply to go cold on your parents until they see things from your point of view. The other thing you could do is befriend someone they don't care for in their age group / social circle and see how they react to that.
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