thembones Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 My whole story is in a thread I created way back, if you are interested in reading. Basically, together 3 years blah blah. Aug 5. - She dumped me. Sept 2. - Meet and she gave me closure. NO CONTACT SINCE THEM, except: Mid September - She texted me about an old co-worker passing away. He was 90+ years old and I would have found out anyways. Today (October 16th) - She texted me again, telling me a story from the local paper about the company we used to work for together. It was really stupid; about if all the grant money received were placed in a line, it would cover xx miles. At the end, "haha omg". Why is she texting me this? What does it say if I do NOT reply? Is it worth replying, breaking NC? Do I kindly ask her to stop? Honestly, the only text I would even consider is one stating that she made a huge mistake and wants to try to work things out. I do not even know how I would handle that.. a lot has been broken.
NavyAirTraffic Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 Honestly, the only text I would even consider is one stating that she made a huge mistake and wants to try to work things out. You said it best. I've wrote it several times today but yesterday I got a "I miss you" text "I want to see you" text, she came over, we slept together. Then today she told me she was seeing someone else and it was a mistake sleeping with me. TaraMaiden says it best "breadcrumbs come in all sizes". Mine was a ginormous one. Listen to your own advice!!! You're not going to like what happens next if you break NC. Learn from my errors. Delete it and move on, or you'll be back here in a week with a new thread "I broke NC and I'm back to square 1". 2
Chi townD Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 Yeah...breadcrumbs...Feeling you out for the friend zone.
Author thembones Posted October 17, 2012 Author Posted October 17, 2012 It probably is just the "friendzone" text. Maybe it was just something that made her think of me. I don't know and I don't really care to be honest. I'm not responding to this bait or whatever it is. Should I just tell her to stop and get out of my life?? What does it say to her that I don't respond? That I cannot be a friend right now? It is something we would have joked about when together, but not so funny right now. I don't want to fall for breadcrumbs. I don't want to be her friend. If she is genuinely interested in me on her own merits, then she will say so much. Otherwise, I can't be at step 1 again.
NavyAirTraffic Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 Honestly, the only text I would even consider is one stating that she made a huge mistake and wants to try to work things out. I do not even know how I would handle that.. a lot has been broken. Anything other than this doesn't matter right? You don't want to be friends? If you don't respond it says "you don't want to be friends". Why would you care what someone thinks if you don't want to be friends with them?? If she really wants you back, you'll get the response you're looking for. Otherwise all breadcrumbs. Or respond and tell us how it went, I think you know how that'll go. Just do me a favor, read a couple of threads about "breaking NC", if you find a lot of "I thought it was breadcrumbs but I was wrong" then go ahead and respond. Hell, find 1 post that says that.
mvc Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 just curious, has a dumper ever come out and straight up said they made a mistake wanna get back together blah blah blah without testing the waters first?
GoldenFlower Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 I say just leave it alone.. My dumper texted me wanting to be "friendly" and know how I was doing. It made me upset more then anything else, because that's how it starts..he's nice, I'm nice then we are on the merry go round again. Don't set yourself back if you are going forward. Best of luck to you!
NavyAirTraffic Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 just curious, has a dumper ever come out and straight up said they made a mistake wanna get back together blah blah blah without testing the waters first? Maybe. I know what I've done in the past, tested the waters (no response), tried again (no response), then I made the "I want you back" contact. They responded but it wasn't a favorable one. If you KNOW that you are in a good place, you can answer the breadcrumb and walk away without being affected, only then should you answer. Not responding to possible breadcrumbs is a defense mechanism, it prevents you from jumping back on the volatile emotional rollercoaster.
flitzanu Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 who cares if she sent some stupid headline from a newspaper? ignore her.
NavyAirTraffic Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 I actually changed my mind!!! I say go for it, contact her!!! I had a revelation today. We are the ones that blow up breadcrumbs, not them, we do it to ourselves. They just text/call because they are bored/lonely/whatever. So here is why I think you should contact her. Here is a little timeline of things to come if you will. HER-breadcrumb- YOU-disappointment and hurt, crying HER-another breadcrumb- YOU- more disappointment maybe anger HER-and another breadcrumb- YOU- anger HER-aaand another BC- YOU- anger fed up and over it. This is the cycle that happens. I was at the gym and thinking about my current and previous relationships. You can stop the cycle now, or follow this blueprint. I am on my third breadcrumb, I'm angry. She jumps in, just to jump right out of my life again but now I'm fed up. I'm sick of having my emotions getting b*tchslapped. Maybe you need exactly what I needed. So I say go for it, after all the pain you let her cause, you will truly be able to walk away.
Author thembones Posted October 18, 2012 Author Posted October 18, 2012 I am already at that point and I am not going to respond to the text. At least maybe she is thinking about me, and maybe she is the one who has trouble sleeping late at night. If I respond, she will think that maybe what she did is okay and that we can have the same friendly relationship, without the emotional bond. We would have had a good laugh about this when we were together, but we are not and that was not my choice. I do not want to start another cycle, as I have come so far. But I think that one little response would not kill me. Actions speak louder than words and I think I will let the action of ignoring her sink in. I do not care if she thinks my ignoring her is immature. I am not about to play childish games. Thanks for the responses. 1
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