ReadMyThread Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 HELP! Ok so there is this girl I work with that has ALWAYS been good-looking to me. Even when I was with my ex I would always see her as an attractive girl but I would rarely talk to her when I would see her because I was with my ex at the time and my ex was "The one" lol so I thought. I wouldn't talk to other girls in that way while being with my ex because I thought I would be with her forever lol. (She was my first love, lol.) Well like 2 weeks after MY EX left me for another guy (F****** B****) I began talking to this girl I work with at work and I got her number one day. It was smooth lol. We were talking one day at work and I was like, "what are you doing when you go home?" and she was like, "I'm going to go be a bum." Then I pulled out my phone and she was like, "texting at work is not allowed here David." We were flirting lol. She was joking with a smile and I said "You don't text while your at work?" and she said she didn't have anybody to text. Then my smooth a** was like, "You can text me. Here, put my number in your phone." and she did and texted me that night when she got home. So now that I had her number we began texting but I would ALWAYS feel bad. This was like 2 weeks after my ex dumped be so my emotional state was still VERY F***** up. We were texting each other for like 3 days straight and then I stopped because I knew it was wrong and I was still very messed up about my ex. Then I texted her again like 3 days after I STOPPED texting her the first time and she said I hurt her feelings because she enjoyed talking to me and I just stopped. I said sorry and I then told her EVERYTHING. I told her how my ex cheated on me and left me for that guy she cheated on me with and that I was still messed up from it and I didn't want to lead her on because it wouldn't have been fair to her and I wasn't ready. I then told her, I said, "Tayler, I REALLY wish I was ready to talk to girls again. You are so beautiful. :(". I was 100% honest with her. I told her that I liked her and she told me that she likes me too. She said, "Awe thank you, there is no rush. No worries." So then I focused and worked on myself! I got a gym membership, started making HATE music towards my ex, and started focusing my thoughts on myself and my future. I would text her here and there telling her I am starting to find myself again or other things like how was school and all that. FAST FORWARD to last night! A month and a half since my ex left me for another guy. I was talking to this girl at work and OH MY GOD! It was amazing. We just talked, joked around, laughed and it was great. The whole time I was with her I didn't think of my ex at all! I was in the present, laughing, smiling and making her laugh! I sat and talked to her while she was working for about a good 45 minutes until she was getting ready to leave so I had to leave so she could. Then when I left I had a BIG smile on my face and she was all I could think about. I REALLY like her. But then......MY EX pops into my head again and I started comparing them to each other. I know, bad. But now, I'm realizing that this new girl is actually REALLY better than my ex. I use to think my ex was the most beautiful girl in the world and that there was no other girl more beautiful and I use to tell myself that my ex is more beautiful than this new girl but that was back then. When I was infatuated with my ex. Now I see this girl more beautiful than my EX! Her personality is way better. Her smile is amazing. She is beautiful. Really. My ex's personality is bad and what she did to me makes her ugly to me now. Well anyway that when I got home, SHE texted ME and was like, "I had so much fun talking to you." and we kept texting and I said I wanted to ask her out but I had to leave. She told me I should have so I did it right then and I asked her out for Friday. She said YES! I'm so excited! I can't wait! I LOVE Who my ex made. I'm not the shy guy anymore. My ex gave me so much more confidence and strength. THE ONLY problem I have right now, is when I am texting this new girl. I find myself smiling at her text messages she sends me and then I think to myself RIGHT after, I say in my head, "This must how my ex feels when her new guy sends her text messages." But then I go right back to thinking about the new girl and texting her. I get a pain in my stomach when I think about my ex. So yeah that's the only problem I have is that little thought. I think this must be how my ex feels with her new guy. I know it's bad but I don't think like this that much. I mean when I'm with this new girl I don't think of her AT ALL! So what I'm asking is...Am I wrong? I really like this new girl and think she is way better than my ex-girlfriend. This girl I KNOW won't ever cheat on me or leave me for someone else because of how her personality is. She's a good girl lol. My ex was NOT! Am I wrong? I'm so excited for this date on Friday and I feel I am ready to date because of how great last night was talking to her at work and how different I am now because of my ex. I think I should give it a shot and take EVERYTHING slow. Just go with the flow and see how things go. I don't feel like I'm using her to get over my ex because I really like her and actually can see me with her. Am I using her? Am I wrong?
Author ReadMyThread Posted October 17, 2012 Author Posted October 17, 2012 How much caffeine have you consumed today? I really would love to respond but this is painful to read lol. How bout we try it again broken down into an appropriate number of paragraphs with some clarification about what you think you might be wrong about? Have a heart and spare our eyes and brains. lol. I don't know. I'm confused as much as you are. lol.
Calico Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 If she's older than sixteen this time, then go for it! Your ex is with another guy and you do not owe her anything. You never really know if someone will cheat on you (most people won't), but there's no point in worrying about that. If you do, you'll become a control freak and that's not sexy. Just take it day by day, and don't make huge plans for the future. Just have fun, enjoy the good times and stay present. Don't cling and don't whine to her about your ex. It's very unattractive to women. 1
Author ReadMyThread Posted October 17, 2012 Author Posted October 17, 2012 If you have to ask, yes. 2 weeks post break up, yes. You are like most people... You can't be alone and you have to rebound. Unfortunately, there are a lot of USERS out there. They don't want you for YOU, they want you for THEM. Wonder why people bail so often / easy? It's because they aren't with you because of WHO / WHAT you are... They are with you for what you do for them. I thought that to myself. If I were even asking about it than I wasn't ready but I'm going anyway! lol. Damn why do you have to be so right all time Gibson! F***! lol. Well I'm going to take everything slow. I think it is because I am alone but I won't hurt her or use her.
Author ReadMyThread Posted October 17, 2012 Author Posted October 17, 2012 If she's older than sixteen this time, then go for it! Your ex is with another guy and you do not owe her anything. You never really know if someone will cheat on you (most people won't), but there's no point in worrying about that. If you do, you'll become a control freak and that's not sexy. Just take it day by day, and don't make huge plans for the future. Just have fun, enjoy the good times and stay present. Don't cling and don't whine to her about your ex. It's very unattractive to women. She is 18 . And your right you really don't ever know. People are F*****S! lol. Oh trust me, I will not whine about my ex at all. I'm not going to bring her up for anything.
Calico Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 Unfortunately, there are a lot of USERS out there. They don't want you for YOU, they want you for THEM. How many new relationships have you been in where you only cared about them and not (also) about your own needs and what you get out of the relationship? Romantic relationships are almost always based on healthy "selfishness": Two people who want something that the other person offers. 1
Author ReadMyThread Posted October 17, 2012 Author Posted October 17, 2012 Considering the OP is on LS posting about his EX along with this new girl, asking us if he is USING the new girl, two weeks from a hard break... I for one, am not getting the romantic and healthy "selfishness" vibe. Are you? Not 2 weeks man! lol. It has been 2 MONTHS since she left me for the other guy. If it were 2 weeks I KNOW I would be just using her for sure hence why I told her I wasn't ready back then lol. But now I have been healing and realizing that I do deserve better and realizing that this new girl is for sure something better. I don't consider myself USING her. I really like her.
Calico Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 (edited) 3. I am not a pu55y who has a problem being by myself. Considering you spend most of your time here flaunting how great and mature a guy you are -- a Real Man --, I don't buy half of your claims concerning your flawless self-esteem. I think it's BS. People who are confident in who they are do not (need to) mention it every opportunity they get. People who lack self-esteem and feel the constant urge to prove something to others, do. It's the same with those silly attacks. Attack the point, not the nickname that apparently indicates that I must be a rare, but sadly impotent, tomcat. Meow to you, too. I agree with quite a few things you say, and you were right during our first clash when you pointed out where my nice guy behaviour got me. I can respect that. It's your self-righteous attitude that I find irksome, though it's admittedly a strong tool to drive points home and provoke reactions. This "better than you" crap that you like to pull. Of course he "uses" that date to feel better. Just like you "use" your women to get an orgasm without having to pay for it. If you want to look at something from a negative angle, you'll always find something that works for that purpose. Everyone "uses" others in some way for personal benefit. That was the point, nothing else. I'd not date someone two weeks after a breakup, but he's nineteen. Time moves at a different pace then. He's not the same age as you and I where we have a little more experience and a different perspective (and still mess up -- well, maybe you don't, but you're a Real Man, I'm just an impotent tomcat). I don't expect someone who's not even twenty to have the same knowledge or mindset of someone twice that age. There's just nothing wrong with what he's doing. Edited October 17, 2012 by Calico 2
Leigh 87 Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 Whoo hoo go you! YOu have a hot girl that likes you, and sounds pretty nice! Your ex is a b*tch. Hey - maybe you can take extra time getting to know this knew girl, so you know her VERY well before getting any any kind of relationship with her? If you get into a relationship with this new girl, why tell her that she needs to communuicate with you if there are issues, so as to NOT just leave you out of the blue for another guy:sick: And yeah. Your ex is a B8tch. 1
Author ReadMyThread Posted October 17, 2012 Author Posted October 17, 2012 Whoo hoo go you! YOu have a hot girl that likes you, and sounds pretty nice! Your ex is a b*tch. Hey - maybe you can take extra time getting to know this knew girl, so you know her VERY well before getting any any kind of relationship with her? If you get into a relationship with this new girl, why tell her that she needs to communuicate with you if there are issues, so as to NOT just leave you out of the blue for another guy:sick: And yeah. Your ex is a B8tch. lol . Yeah I will be sure of that if it goes that far! . I can't let that happen again lol. Yeah my ex is but karma will catch up to her lol.
Chi townD Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 That's awesome! However, I think you need to be honest with her and tell her that you've just came out of a relationship and you were hurt pretty bad. However, you love spending time with her and you like where things are going. But, you just want to take it slow and enjoy each others company. And that you are so jazzed that you have the opportunity to take a beautiful woman out on the town. I think that she would appreciate your honesty. The reason I say this is because you're still thinking about your Ex. Therefore, you're showing me that you're not giving this 100% of yourself because you're not fully healed. And that's not being fair to her. Communicate with her and you can't go wrong. 1
Author ReadMyThread Posted October 17, 2012 Author Posted October 17, 2012 That's awesome! However, I think you need to be honest with her and tell her that you've just came out of a relationship and you were hurt pretty bad. However, you love spending time with her and you like where things are going. But, you just want to take it slow and enjoy each others company. And that you are so jazzed that you have the opportunity to take a beautiful woman out on the town. I think that she would appreciate your honesty. The reason I say this is because you're still thinking about your Ex. Therefore, you're showing me that you're not giving this 100% of yourself because you're not fully healed. And that's not being fair to her. Communicate with her and you can't go wrong. Dead on man! Your right! I have already told her what happened with my last relationship but for sure before I make this girl my girl if that is what it leads to then I will for sure sit down and talk to her and be honest about everything. I know she really likes me lol. I can see myself with her but before that happens I will for sure talk to her and say I'd be willing to take EVERYTHING slow and proceed with a semi-guard up for alittle bit lol. Girls are HEARTLESS!
Chi townD Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 Yeah, but when you talk to her DO NOT SAY YOU STILL THINK ABOUT YOUR EX!!! That would be a show stopper!! She'll be like, " Call me when you figure your sh*t out.." Just say you got hurt badly and you just want to decompress, relax and have a fun time with a really cool girl. I know you're not an idiot, but just wanted to cover my bases. 1
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