Complicated - Love? Let Go?

[therealher]

I met this guy last Christmas and we started talking during February time this year. He told me he liked me..at the time I didn't feel the same way (I did think he was cute but that was it). But then he was there for me when I needed someone to listen and we started to become really close and then I realised how nice he was and he wasn't being a dick to me and so I fell for him and he's just so different compared to other guys I've seen...I've been messed around before by a guy and he's been messed around by girls before too..it was nice for us both to be with someone genuine. He did tell me before about how he felt about settling down and that he's going to uni so he doesn't want to hurt me or get too deep with me so it doesn't end in both of us getting hurt. Also, he told me that he would have ended up cheating on the girls who messed him around anyway and I know he can be a prick but to me he was just so niceee! We ended up getting deep anyway and I ended up sleeping with him (he was my first..I felt he deserved me..I am a person who is very cautious and finds it hard to trust people) even though he told me we shouldn't because our feelings for each other would get stronger (he'd slept with two other girls before). He made me feel so special and he was so honest, open, kind, and caring and we'd both told each other things we've never told anyone else before. I feel like I loved him and I still do..but I'm questioning was it really love? I saw another guy two years ago before him and I thought I was in love then but this time it's different.. Anyway, he's gone to uni now..we've not spoken in the past two weeks..I miss him so much..I just don't want him to forget about me..I don't know what to do...I still think about him every day..I wonder if he does about me...we did talk before he went and told each other we both more than like each other..but he's one of these guys who finds it hard to express his feelings.. but I just don't know what to do..it hurts me that someone so nice I can't have and nothing has worked out for me..obviously I want him to be happy and have fun at uni, even though the thought of him being with another girl hurts so much, but I'm SO confused...I know I should be happy and just think that at least he didn't mess me around and was straight with me but still!!! Arghhh!! I want him!! He told me before he went to uni that he didn't want me to feel that I slept with him and he just left..but that is how I kind of feel now and I don't want to let go of him but that's what he wants me to do. I'm finding it so hard getting through the days without talking to him when we use to talk nearly every day before