Vinky Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 About a month ago I was given the line I am not sure I am ready to be your girlfriend and she needed some space after about 3 months of dating. Backstory, girl coming out of a 2 year relationship with about 2 months between our first date and her breakup. A week later we sat down, both told each other we cared about each other but she wasn't able to get into a relationship because of feelings she has about her previous relationship. It was clear to me that it wasn't going to happen for me whilst she was in this state. So without going into the ins and outs of it all, its been a month. I've withdrawn from any contact with her. We work in the same place, she sends me daily IM's, which I deal with civily but do not engage in. She has also sent a text message each Friday since the breakup to enjoy my weekend, which I have not responded to. Obviously I liked this girl, still do and I really don't know what to do. I would never be contacting someone I dumped in this way and I don't get it. Do I just keep doing what I am doing?
River Rain Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 She's not ready to be in a relationship with you and at least she was honest. Plus, you would have been just a rebound, so it shows that she does care about you, just not ready yet. If you feel like you need to move on, then don't respond to her messages, but maybe be honest and tell her that. It just sounds to me like she's just trying to keep in touch with you because she does genuinely like you. 1
Calico Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 I'd probably just tell her like it is: You'd like a romantic relationship with her, but she told you she's not ready and, of course, you respect that. Much as you'd like, you can't be just her friend because your feelings go beyond mere friendship and her relationship-like ways of messaging you prevent you from moving on. Tell her that, and add that you care a great deal about her, but since she does not feel ready for a serious relationship, you'd prefer if she stopped sending you messages because it is misleading and makes it harder for you. You wish her the best and if she'll ever need you... actually, scratch that. You wish her the best. I agree with River Rain that there's probably no malicious intent on her side and that she really does like you and cares about you. Possibly not in the way that you'd like. This doesn't mean you should be her friend if it hurts you. My ex would love to be friends with me too and we care for one another, but it's just not possible at this point in time.
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