SMF Posted July 29, 2004 Posted July 29, 2004 does no contact really work? can someone please give examples of either healing yourself or having the ex realize what they had? i am just not doing that well and i need some positive advice on why no contact is good. sometimes i feel the less you speak the more they will forget you.
Olivia_19742004 Posted July 29, 2004 Posted July 29, 2004 I think the whole "no contact/ contact" strategy is juvenile. I don't think playing games with someone is the right way to restart a relationship. If you want to contact someone I would contact them. If you don't want to then don't. Determining how they are going to respond based on hypothetical scenarios or by listening to other stories doesn't mean your significant other is going to react the same way. As I've said before, I'd rather know that my significant other came back to me because he wanted to be there and not because I played some psychological mind game that duped him into thinking he wanted to be with me. It just seems so deceitful and underhanded.
Pained Posted July 29, 2004 Posted July 29, 2004 Olivia, for the most part I agree with you. However, if your significant other has ASKED FOR SPACE and indicates feeling stifled, leave him/her alone! Sure, make contact once in a while if you feel the need to, but respect his/her feelings as well. If you're broken up for sure, then use NC for YOUR benefit only, as seeing your recent ex may impede your healing process. Don't use it as a game to get him/her to come back, though.
Olivia_19742004 Posted July 29, 2004 Posted July 29, 2004 Olivia, for the most part I agree with you. However, if your significant other has ASKED FOR SPACE and indicates feeling stifled, leave him/her alone! Sure, make contact once in a while if you feel the need to, but respect his/her feelings as well. If you're broken up for sure, then use NC for YOUR benefit only, as seeing your recent ex may impede your healing process. Don't use it as a game to get him/her to come back, though. If no contact has been agreed upon then no contact should be made. I just assumed this wasn't the type of contact/no contact being discussed
Pained Posted July 29, 2004 Posted July 29, 2004 Well, what if one person wants no contact and the other person didn't really agree to it? I would feel bad for the person constantly being contacted. By the way, we have hot-looking avatars.
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