kaylan Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 This thread is also another reason of why I dont date exes of friends.
Author computerist Posted October 17, 2012 Author Posted October 17, 2012 Pride is very important to most men. You take pride in your accomplishments, your home, your job, your car. You want to take pride in your woman, too. Regardless of whether it's wrong or right, these details are preventing you from being proud of her. You want to feel like your girl is special. You feel that you deserve the best, and these details have tarnished your view of her. It also threatens your ego because other people know. You don't want to be judged for your choice in a woman. You want to be proud, not ashamed of her. These are pretty normal feelings for a guy in your position to have. Most of us do judge people based on their actions, which is perfectly reasonable. It's not cool to judge based on race, religion, etc. but I think it's smart to judge actions. It's a way to keep people with shady characters out of our lives. I'm not saying she has a shady character, but she obviously has done some things that bother you. You have a right to set whatever standards you want in a relationship. Some may see your standards as unreasonable, but you are the one that has to live with your choices and deal with the company you keep, so what other people think is redundant. There are ways to control your thoughts. For example, one trick is to immediately imagine a stop sign as soon as you begin to think about what she's done. Eventually, after many times, you may be able to train your brain to avoid that thought altogether. So if you love her and want to continue the relationship, there are steps you can take to gain more control over your thoughts and emotions. However, it sounds to me like you feel as if you settled. Regardless of how much you like her, there is this nagging feeling that is keeping you from being fully invested in the relationship. You can't unring the bell. There are no Men In Black tools that will make you forget everything you heard. What she did is not going to change. If you can't handle it, staying with her is only prolonging the inevitable and isn't fair to her. Although you do have a right to judge her, she also has a right to be upset or hurt by your judgement. You should let her go so that she can find someone that will not judge her in this way. Thank you for your response. She means everything to me and I love her very much. My ego is getting in the way when I thought it would not, or never will. I guess I have had the issues and tried to fight it. This thread was just some perspective I was seeking from other people, I do not think down of her at all, I just have some bad memories that affect me. who doesn't. I think I need to kick this for good, I will try to just forget it all. I just wish I wasn't constantly reminded of it by other people. I'm nobody special and I should not ever judge others for their pasts, ever. I'm ashamed of it, I don't want to, I love her, and she never judges me EVER. she is wonderful and very special to me. I came off blunt at first to have people see it for what it was. So they could help me tell me what they would feel. I will take your advice and I appreciate it. I need to not entertain the BS and move on with things...
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