BringMeBackToLife Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 Sigh I guess Ill feel better if I tell my story in words. Basically I had my girlfriend for almost 3 years, and everything was perfect, but for the past few months Ive been feeling like shes somewhat disinterested. I felt like there was something wrong, like she was hiding something, this strange vibe that I couldn't put my finger on. I had no proof that anything was going on except for an ad I caught in her email for a dating website. I assumed it was spam. A few weeks ago after several fights and confrontations I broke up with her out of the blue because I felt she had become a different person and she was totally not interested in spending time with me like we used to (and we were literally together 24/7.) I was DEVASTATED for weeks! I felt like a made a huge mistake and I wanted to take her back. She kept telling me, please we can still work on this, yada yada. But I held my ground, one really miserable day after day. We eventually ended up just being friends because we both craved each others companionship, which I was alright with. Then I found out from her friend that she had cheated on me and met up with a guy from that dating website months earlier while I was recovering from a surgery and that she always talked about finding other "hot guys" and looking for every opportunity to do stuff behind my back for the past couple of months. ALL MY VIBES were correct. The minute I heard this I literally erased her everywhere from my life, cut off all communication, blocked her on my phone and networking sites etc. She doesn't know that I know, and I can never tell her what I know because her friend doesn't want to be seen as a backstabber and her friend is the only one that knows this information. I would give ANYTHING to confront her and tell her that she didn't get away with what she did and I know EVERYTHING and that she wasn't worth my time and I couldn't care less about her. But I cant, and I don't know how to let this all go. I'm 19 and we started dating when we were 16. Now I feel left with nothing but wasted time and I feel horribly unattractive because the guy she was targeting look absolutely nothing like me. I don't want a girlfriend ever again and I feel like I can never trust woman. I dont even know why Im posting this, Im trying to forget her but I don't know how.
LostOne1 Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 I know how it feel man. You put so much trust into a person, and that person just hurts you bad. I guess at the age she is at.. sometimes it happens when your younger. People aren't as serious or commited at this point in time. So they do stupid things and regret it later when they are older. I feel your pain, but I wouldn't take her back. I don't think you should hate other women, but don't date. Work on yourself and care about yourself, because it's obvious she doesn't care about you. So do your own self a favor and care for yourself.
Tree_Salmon Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 Sigh I guess Ill feel better if I tell my story in words. Basically I had my girlfriend for almost 3 years, and everything was perfect, but for the past few months Ive been feeling like shes somewhat disinterested. I felt like there was something wrong, like she was hiding something, this strange vibe that I couldn't put my finger on. I had no proof that anything was going on except for an ad I caught in her email for a dating website. I assumed it was spam. A few weeks ago after several fights and confrontations I broke up with her out of the blue because I felt she had become a different person and she was totally not interested in spending time with me like we used to (and we were literally together 24/7.) I was DEVASTATED for weeks! I felt like a made a huge mistake and I wanted to take her back. She kept telling me, please we can still work on this, yada yada. But I held my ground, one really miserable day after day. We eventually ended up just being friends because we both craved each others companionship, which I was alright with. Then I found out from her friend that she had cheated on me and met up with a guy from that dating website months earlier while I was recovering from a surgery and that she always talked about finding other "hot guys" and looking for every opportunity to do stuff behind my back for the past couple of months. ALL MY VIBES were correct. The minute I heard this I literally erased her everywhere from my life, cut off all communication, blocked her on my phone and networking sites etc. She doesn't know that I know, and I can never tell her what I know because her friend doesn't want to be seen as a backstabber and her friend is the only one that knows this information. I would give ANYTHING to confront her and tell her that she didn't get away with what she did and I know EVERYTHING and that she wasn't worth my time and I couldn't care less about her. But I cant, and I don't know how to let this all go. I'm 19 and we started dating when we were 16. Now I feel left with nothing but wasted time and I feel horribly unattractive because the guy she was targeting look absolutely nothing like me. I don't want a girlfriend ever again and I feel like I can never trust woman. I dont even know why Im posting this, Im trying to forget her but I don't know how. Man, you are too young for this drama. Pick up and move on now and dont waste another second. After years of experience and having gone through the same things I realized that people shouldn't even be in relationships until their mid twenties. Drop this and grow. You'll look back on this and laugh. 1
JayL Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 Leave it be, you deserve better. I have been cheated on in the past as well. My recent break-up.. I had a feeling she broke up with me because of her guy "friends". She has way too many that she's glued on her phone whenever we were together and that grin on her face when she reads the message was just something else. The only time I saw her grin like that was when I first met her and was flirting with her. You just cannot trust people as much these days... 1
River Rain Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 Don't compare yourself to this person she cheated with. Don't let it ruin your self esteem. Sometimes confronting a person makes YOU feel worse in the long run. Continue the nc, remember, nc isn't for them, it's for you to heal. Be the better person, grieve, heal yourself and move on. Not all girls cheat, just like not all guys cheat. The problem with opening yourself up to love is that there is always a chance of heartbreak. But we only live once. You're so young honey...I know it feels so devastating, but you'll be okay. You'll find someone who will be honest with you. And you've learned some things along the way right? 2
Author BringMeBackToLife Posted October 16, 2012 Author Posted October 16, 2012 Thank you all for the advice . Its just so hard for me to let go of my anger. I'm not an angry person at all, but I have never hated someone more then her. As someone who always had to deal with body image issues, its hard to recover from being burnt where it hurts the most.
LostOne1 Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 Thank you all for the advice . Its just so hard for me to let go of my anger. I'm not an angry person at all, but I have never hated someone more then her. As someone who always had to deal with body image issues, its hard to recover from being burnt where it hurts the most. the anger will go away in a month or two... and after that it will maybe be more of relif mixed with why did she do it and questioning it all.
KatZee Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 Thank you all for the advice . Its just so hard for me to let go of my anger. I'm not an angry person at all, but I have never hated someone more then her. As someone who always had to deal with body image issues, its hard to recover from being burnt where it hurts the most. I feel you. Go see some of my earlier "angry" threads. I'm sure you'll get a kick out of it. The anger and hate I felt for my ex was indescribable. My ex cheated on me as well. I wasn't recovering from a surgery, but the time he cheated on me was when I had the flu/bronchitis/laryngitis all at once. I was one hot mess, and instead of taking care of me that week or giving a s.hit at all, he was out screwing his ex girlfriend. I don't have issues with my physical self at all, but his ex was someone I had extreme issues with because she kept hanging around and I kept asking WHY and I knew she was trying to get him back, or break us up, or SOMETHING and he kept looking at me and playing stupid, when all along my intuition was right. I too deleted everything about him, and I did call him out and ream him for everything. I feel sorry that you have to hold that in because that's what got me to start moving on. I was with mine almost 3 years as well and honestly it makes me feel like everything we had was a complete lie. I will NEVER for one second believe he ever loved me like he said. I will NEVER for one second believe a word out of his mouth. That being said, not everyone on this planet is as trashy as your ex or mine. I don't have the trust issues, I'm fully willing/able and excited to love someone again. But this time, HE'S GONNA BE DAMN WORTHY OF THIS! Don't get down. You're so young. Too young to be carrying that drama and baggage. Breathe, and let it out. Karma is coming for her. 1
Author BringMeBackToLife Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 (edited) Hi guys. So its been like 5 months or so? Well a lot of good things have happened. I made some new friends, got my job back, and been focusing on school and making myself happy. I do things like go to the gym and try enjoying the single life (aka-spending my paychecks on myself ) But also a lot of things have not gotten better. I haven't spoken to her since i made this post but i am still EXTREMELY mad at her and I STILL want her to know I found out what she did. I want to know why she did it and just get it all out of my system. I don't know if this is a good idea. I just feel like I need to let these emotions out. Im pretty secretive when it comes to relationship life but needless to say I turned into an open book and trash talked her to everyone I know. Not the smartest thing but..I guess it made me feel better. Also it hurts tremendously to see all my other friends in relationships. I went from the only one with a girlfriend to the only single one . Life definitely has its twists and turns, dont it. So, should I contact her and tell her how I feel? Edited February 3, 2013 by BringMeBackToLife
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