cypher32 Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 This is a little long but its my story my hope in writing this is to put it out there so at last I can let go and move on. Me and my ex were together for 6yrs. We planned a life together a family, careers, children, everything. We were in our mid-twenties when we met and agreed that we both should finish our schooling before we got married. Her progress was quicker than mine in those regards I helped her with her schooling and was able to see her graduate from a major university. I, having previously destroyed my GPA was working to bring that up by taking classes at night while working in the day after about 3yrs of that I was nearing the end. With a year left in school the classes i needed to take in order to graduate were full so my graduation was going to be delayed 6 months.It was June a month after I had finished my junior year we had a fight and she gave me the silent treatment until she said those words "We need to talk". I think those words translate to the same thing in every language, it was the beginning of the end. She, well recited and composed, explained her reasons and all I could do with tears streaming was sit there and take it, she wanted to be married by now (she was turning 31), she wanted children by now (her younger sister was expecting her second), I didn't take care of her like she thought I ought to (I was completely consumed by my schooling), but after all my sacrifice and looking past her imperfections (she was a party girl who despite having a degree was working as a bartender and would not give that up for anything or anyone) I still saw the person that I loved. I'm not saying that she was completely right or completely wrong all relationship have a gray area's it came down to the cold reality for her that I no longer made her happy. The month preceding the breakup I was an information machine reading and consuming every website and book out there on "How to get your EX back" I made a plan followed it to a tee, I went strict NC a month later I had gone from 185lbs of mush to 175lbs of muscle, I had gone out with friends and partied harder than I ever have before, I took up old interest investing time into doing the stuff that I did before I met her, I bought a new wardrobe, I really wanted her back. I dropped by the apartment that we had shared together (I had since moved) to pick up some of my belongings, we talked I acted confident and told her that the breakup probably was for the best and that my life was great now and showed her pics on my phone of all the fun I'd been having, she commented on how different I seemed, I was getting ready to leave and something happened she wanted a hug, then a kiss, then making out, then sex!(depending on which system you follow you could say this is where I made a mistake, some say go out on dates first some say if your a guy try to get your ex in the sack as soon as possible because physical intimacy is emotional intimacy for women) Holy ****, this getting your ex back stuff really works I though. I acted cool, confident, put together and strong but on the inside I was holding back tears, about to pass out from exhaustion and delirious from not being able to sleep in about a week. After we had finished I though that was it I'm going to get my ex back, she will surely want me back now, now she can see how great we are together and how much we love each other.No, such luck she had to leave shortly after it was over (work) and reminded me to lock up when I was done getting my things. I was flabbergasted so I went to work gathering my things and her phone went "chirp" she had actually left her phone in the apartment with me, So i found where the sound was coming from and there it was sitting on top of her diary. I had always respected her privacy before but I was curious and desperate.I picked up her phone to see her txt and sure enough it was another dude. I was hurt and enraged that she had moved on so fast, I deleted the message and scrolled the text to see how long she had been talking to this other guy, It turns out it had only been about two weeks but that means she started talking to him two weeks after we broke up and the conversations made no sense there were huge chunks missing (I came to the conclusion she had deleted them), I skimmed her diary to find out who this was but there was only a blurb in there about him and seemed like nothing. I wasn't surprised to find there was a ton of writings about me but was surprised that only one of them had anything good to say about me 1 in 3 years!? I also learned that she had been planning the break up for at least 3 months in not so many words about having to brace herself and financially save for the date when she could dump me (found out this was pretty text book break-up woman stuff).I couldn't believe it, I didn't suspect a thing the sex hadn't changed she didn't seem anymore distant. My mind was spinning but I couldn't think of it now she was coming back to the apartment soon so I packed my stuff and left. I gave myself a month before I saw her again (To get all the big stuff of mine out of the Apt.)she had made a major purchase (a brand new car) since I had last seen her.She left to get lunch while I was there and she did it again left her phone and diary out in the open. Again I tried to resist the urge but curiosity won out nothing new in the diary and on her phone just simply friendly txt between her and this other guy. I was relieved and thought that maybe we could get back together soon, we had a chance to talk we trashed all the novelty sex stuff. I was about to leave and she was all over me again?? We ended up in bed and had sex twice, I was blown away and though this is going to happen now we are gonna get back together. I left with high hopes and then waited for that phone call. It never came, One month went by and at the two month mark I had given up. It had now been 4 months since our break up I needed to schedule for classes and on my way home from school I stopped by the Apt. to give the keys back and officially get my name off the lease, she wasn't there I let my self into the Apt. her diary was there opened, at this point this was the only contact that i could have with her so I knew I was going to look at it I leafed through the pages and there was a flurry of writing more than I could read I skimmed them. She had met someone new had done "something" with them (the diary didn't say) and she was contemplating what it meant. I was crushed I finally came to the realization that this was never going to happen for us she seemed happy to see me but never made an effort to contact me and went on in her diary about how happy she is now without me. I left the Apt. and the keys behind and I'm hoping to leave all of my memories of her behind. Every website will say that every relationship is different, and during the break up I thought that too, I though we were different we can make it we will get back together.I have to say that now looking back on it all the whole thing was text book the problem was I never read that text book in school. I liked coming to this forum when me and my ex first broke up and I read the getting back together stories because the made me feel like we had a chance but I've learned that that is the exception not the standard. I don't know if my ex will ever want me back she wrote in one of her entries " I have a choice to make, to run back to the life I knew or follow this new path and see where it takes me" she choose the new path and I have to as well. Five months ago I was 185lbs,30% body fat ,flabby and completely in love now I'm 165lbs, 10% body fat, well defined and completely lonely , I look and feel physically better than I ever did when I was with her but emotionally I feel weak and small I've taken time to rebuild my confidence and the emotional scars will heal over time, I still think about her and probably always will. I'm 32 now when I was 22 my high school sweet heart left me for another man, now a decade later the love of my life left me for ANY other man. As stated earlier that this is my attempt to get my story out there in the hopes that I can gain closure on the whole situation if it grants anyone any insight on there own breakups then great but as far as a reunited love story I just don't think its here. Next year I'll be on the precipice of my future looking forward to a new life, one that was meant for me and my love but I now realize that will never be because I simply didn't make her happy.
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