why123 Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 Wanted to throw this out there, though I believe I know the answer, it’s just hard to accept and I need to vent. I dated a girl for over a year, had many great times, and I really liked her. Never said I loved her in the relationship (in retrospect I did, but I was too immature, scared to admit it maybe). This was the most serious relationship I’ve ever had and the closest I've been with any one. I broke up with her in May of this year and my reasons were wanting to be with other people before committing to a long term relationship, needing to see what else was out there, etc. I just needed a break. It was kind of a mutual break up, in that she was ready for more of a commitment from me. But we could have stayed together. She was my best friend. She was very emotional about breaking up, but we stayed friends. We kept in touch all summer. Everyday I questioned myself if breaking up was the right thing to do. I did not see any other women in this time. Fast forward to this past Thursday. We were chatting online and one thing led to another and I found out she has a new boyfriend. I kind of suspected. I was devastated and still am. I think they’ve been seeing each other for a few months. The thought of her with another dude and possibly out of my romantic life forever is killing me. I was harboring hope that we would get back together. I sent her a note letting her know that I want to give the relationship another shot, missed her, and basically poured my heart out. She said she’s happy in her current situation and won’t be able to start over with me at this time. She did say she doesn’t know what the future holds and we may get back together who knows. Also said she wants to remain friends. This girl was a great catch and I was lucky to have her. I definitely could have been a better boyfriend to her while we were together and will probably harbor regret forever. I can tell she is clearly happy with this new dude, who surpasses me in income level and education, though I’m not doing poorly in either. She has continued to send me texts since Thursday referencing events from our past, just keeping in touch, etc. Also she constantly posts enthusiastic messages about her plans for all to see, which kills me. My last communication with her I said “I hope we can stay friends in the future, but right now I need time away from your texts, messaging, and new life”. Is there any chance that she breaks up with this new dude when clearly she is happy and getting everything emotionally that I was not providing? Do I take our time together for what it was, learn from it and try to move on? Is staying friends a good idea? From her point of few this all must be unexpected, but I can't help how I feel. I’ve never felt this bad in my life and now know what heartbreak is. Also my ex lives a block away and everything reminds me of her. Appreciate the advice!
Quest4_TheLost Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 (edited) Sounds to me like you had the grass is greener syndrome.. Lets put this into perspective.. You are only human and make mistakes. On that note, I am one to beleive that everything truly does happen for a reason. So it sounds like the perfect time to go start visiting some other lawns. Your still friends so perhaps this was just not the right time for you two. She was honest and maybe there is a chance for you two in the future. Jealousy is normal even when people don't want their exs back. Usually some kind of jealousy is felt when the other partner has moved on. You got bored of your favorite toy. Now you see someone else enjoying it and you remember all the good old times with that toy. But you gave the toy away! I'm sure this feeling of jealousy won't last too long and really this is just a lesson. When you break up with someone make sure its the right thing for you because not all dumpees are going to sit around hopeing for another chance. Somtimes all you get is 1.. Good luck to you.. Edited October 16, 2012 by Quest4_TheLost
blotter Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 "You got bored of your favorite toy. Now you see someone else enjoying it and you remember all the good old times with that toy. But you gave the toy away!"
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