Woggle Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 This article pretty much ruined my day before I left this morning and I need to do something to get myself back up before I come home today. Dr. Peggy Drexler: The Scarlet Manifesto: The Rise of the Adulterous Woman
Avulare Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 I don't have the authority to agree or disagree with the article since I can't read the minds of other women; I can only speak for myself. Since finding someone I'd want to be with is such a rare occurance for me (there's only been like three guys in my life I've been attracted to so far, and I only slept with one of them), there is no way in my right mind I'd even consider cheating on a partner. Likewise, I would not be used to cheat with by sleeping with a man who already had a partner. 3
whichwayisup Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 This article pretty much ruined my day before I left this morning and I need to do something to get myself back up before I come home today. Dr. Peggy Drexler: The Scarlet Manifesto: The Rise of the Adulterous Woman I'm not even going to bother reading it as I have no interest. Woggle, why did you read the link? Knowing this stuff continually upsets you, why are you still doing this?? Please, next time, walk away.. To let this 'ruin' your day is giving power to something that's out of your control and has nothing to do with you personally. Your wife doesn't fit this category - She is the one who counts, not other women whom you don't know. 3
pteromom Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 I think it is absolutely true. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE this line: Is this a good thing? It sure is. For these women, marriage is important, but it doesn't define them. If it doesn't last, they won't be destroyed. For a woman, the ability to realize that she's not happy -- and she's going to do something about it, rather than be passive and accept whatever comes -- is empowering. She is claiming her right to feel fulfilled in relationships and sex, regardless of what society may expect of her. I don't think that means CHEATING is the answer though. Cheating is a selling out of your OWN integrity. I am curious - why did this article ruin your day?
Author Woggle Posted October 16, 2012 Author Posted October 16, 2012 I think it is absolutely true. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE this line: I don't think that means CHEATING is the answer though. Cheating is a selling out of your OWN integrity. I am curious - why did this article ruin your day? Because it is condoning cheating and the comments and I read all of them are condoning it.
pteromom Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 Because it is condoning cheating and the comments and I read all of them are condoning it. Hmmm. I am still unsure why that would ruin your day. There are a lot of selfish people out there with little integrity. Doesn't mean THEIR choices and points of view should ruin YOUR day. As someone else said above, the only thing that matters is what you and your wife think. 1
Author Woggle Posted October 16, 2012 Author Posted October 16, 2012 Hmmm. I am still unsure why that would ruin your day. There are a lot of selfish people out there with little integrity. Doesn't mean THEIR choices and points of view should ruin YOUR day. As someone else said above, the only thing that matters is what you and your wife think. But the fact that most women seem to think this including you which you have admitted just makes me wonder if my wife will eventually switch gears.
xxoo Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 Because it is condoning cheating and the comments and I read all of them are condoning it. In the last paragraph, she clearly states she is NOT advocating cheating. She's commenting on a change in women over the generations. She supports one part (the independence), but not another (the cheating). I agree with her on that. I didn't read the comments.
Author Woggle Posted October 16, 2012 Author Posted October 16, 2012 It's just makes me eyes roll to see some women on here condemning porn or men going to strip clubs and men simply checking other women out but then in the same breath outright cheating by women is perfectly okay. All these things I mentioned are wrong in a relationship but isn't outright cheating worse?
96nole Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 I just read through a bunch of the comments and many of them are anything but condoning. 1
xxoo Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 It's just makes me eyes roll to see some women on here condemning porn or men going to strip clubs and men simply checking other women out but then in the same breath outright cheating by women is perfectly okay. All these things I mentioned are wrong in a relationship but isn't outright cheating worse? Going down a dead end road here, woggle. Walk away from the crazy.
pteromom Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 But the fact that most women seem to think this including you which you have admitted just makes me wonder if my wife will eventually switch gears. I like the idea that women aren't willing to settle for a crappy marriage. I do NOT like the idea of cheating. But even if I DID like cheating, that has nothing to do with your wife. If you do your part to protect your marriage and meet your wife's needs, she will have no need to look elsewhere anyway. So instead of spending your day upset about an article and posting on LS, think about something sweet to do for her tonight.
Author Woggle Posted October 16, 2012 Author Posted October 16, 2012 I just read through a bunch of the comments and many of them are anything but condoning. Typically as is usually the case it is divided by gender.
Author Woggle Posted October 16, 2012 Author Posted October 16, 2012 I like the idea that women aren't willing to settle for a crappy marriage. I do NOT like the idea of cheating. But even if I DID like cheating, that has nothing to do with your wife. If you do your part to protect your marriage and meet your wife's needs, she will have no need to look elsewhere anyway. So instead of spending your day upset about an article and posting on LS, think about something sweet to do for her tonight. It is not always the man's fault though. Sometimes women make their husband look as bad as possible to justify it.
pteromom Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 It is not always the man's fault though. Sometimes women make their husband look as bad as possible to justify it. Of course it isn't. Sometimes, it is NOBODY's fault. Sometimes the woman is selfish. Sometimes the guy is a jerk. Every situation is different. 1
veggirl Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 ooh did someone comment "you go girl!" ? I know that is your favorite phrase.
whichwayisup Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 But the fact that most women seem to think this including you which you have admitted just makes me wonder if my wife will eventually switch gears. And here it is, once again. Your past insecurities and experiences, and reading up on infidelity and other bad stuff, OUT RULE all that your wife does for you, past and present. She's given you NO reason to doubt her, her actions and words have proven to you over and over again that she isn't the type that you keep reading and obsessing about!! The problem is, you still don't trust your wife and you never will.
Author Woggle Posted October 16, 2012 Author Posted October 16, 2012 ooh did someone comment "you go girl!" ? I know that is your favorite phrase. It was more than that. Do you agree with it?
Pyro Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 Who forced you to read the article? You are the recovering heroin addict who just stuck a needle in his arm. 1
Author Woggle Posted October 16, 2012 Author Posted October 16, 2012 Who forced you to read the article? You are the recovering heroin addict who just stuck a needle in his arm. Pyro your ex cheated on you. How does it feel knowing that many women have a you go girl attitude towards her.
Pyro Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 Pyro your ex cheated on you. How does it feel knowing that many women have a you go girl attitude towards her. Considering that I don't personally know any of the woman who possibly feel that way I could care less.
Author Woggle Posted October 16, 2012 Author Posted October 16, 2012 Considering that I don't personally know any of the woman who possibly feel that way I could care less. Some women on this board feel that way though I admit most don't and I am sure some of your coworkers and women you know have these views.
Pyro Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 Some women on this board feel that way though I admit most don't and I am sure some of your coworkers and women you know have these views. I'll repeat it again: I don't know any of the women on here who feel that way and I'm not chums with any women at work who may feel that way so I will care even less now. Even if I did know anyone like that I would just distance myself from them and cut ties. It's not difficult to avoid but you seem to think that it is impossible. 1
veggirl Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 It was more than that. Do you agree with it? Woggle, relationships are the biggest motivator for me. I have very few close relationships and I treasure and care for the ones I do have. That includes a romantic relationship. I agree that a woman may not "need" a man, but I even more strongly believe that if you CHOOSE to enter a monogamous relationship, you damn sure better protect that and keep the promises you have made. IMO there would be less cheating and whatnot if people were more selective on who they choose to be with. People are desperate and will jump head first in with too many people and only later realize they never even liked / were compatible with that person. If people slowed down, things would be better. If people took their choices SERIOUSLY, we would all be better off. Everyone knows it's easy to get out, and they act accordingly. It's sad. 1
Owl Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 OK...so I'm kinda curious here too, and I must be one of the few long time posters here that don't have any "history" with Woggle (that I cared enough to remember, at least). Woggle...if you know this kind of thing is a "trigger" for you...why did you read it? Why did you post it? What did you hope to gain with either action? And more importantly...what are you doing to help yourself work through how you feel about all of this?
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