Jim121 Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 Hi, This is my first post on LS. This is gonna be long, but it's worth it. My story may seem childish and immature to you, but I urge you to please read it. I am only of 17 years of age. I have always been a friendly nice guy, I always knew I was an emotional person. I had never had a girlfriend before her, and she was my first real love as well. Since the day I first gazed upon her, she thought I was attractive. I did not know this for a long long while. Finally, in February this year, me and a couple of friends ran into her and her friends. She tried to kiss me, I ignored her, because I thought my friend might have feelings for her. This was not the case I found out. After that time, I still always ignored her, I didn't feel the need to kiss her or whatever. Fast forward to April. I went out with my friends, and ran into her, we danced, but did not kiss. She texted me after I left the bar, and we started talking. We talked and talked, and never stopped, it was crazy, every day we talked. I then wanted to see her, we hung out, we kissed, and things were moving. She came over, I went to see her, etc etc.. Eventually we made things official. I was in love with her, and she was in love with me. She was a very 'free' girl, in the sense that she was very touchy and had kissed a lot of guys before me. I knew she was like that. I had never had a girlfriend, and I did not know the side of me that did. I found out I could get very angry because of her. For example, Her ex texted her, and she texted back, I got furious. But that 'flirty' side of her seemed to diminish the following months. We had a lot of fights, because I had trust issues. She always forgave me, and I started to cool down as well and accept more. Everything was going fine, but I noticed she started texting less, seeing eachother less, I was making most of the plans, etc... Then a few weeks ago, I got the message everyone fears, 'we need to talk'. She came over, and explained to me she doesn't feel it anymore, and we should quit it. She ended it right there. She cried, I cried. It was,excuse my language, ****ing miserable. Well anyways, that same weekend she said she missed me and she asked me if I could come over, the fool I was, I did. We had sex, and I felt like we reconnected somehow. This was false. This happened the next week as well. Then 2 weeks ago, we both went to the same party. At that party she tried to make me jealous and angry, she knows exactly what I don't like, and she completely devastated me, she flirted my friends, was touchy, etc.. the whole shebang. She went out with my friends and me, and made sure I saw everything. I asked what she was doing, and what the hell she was thinking. She ignored me and told me to go away. I was devastated. I then said something that really hurt her, and I regret saying it. I told her, I don't know how I could have ever loved you. I saw her walking away crying. I regret that so much. On another note, I found out later, she told people she doesn't want to get back with me. This hurt me a whole lot. She blocked my number yesterday. I asked her why she did what she did. She ignored it and blocked me. I am so sad, and I don't understand. She hurt me so much, and doesn't want to talk anymore. How could a person who once loved you, and who you cared for, hurt you so bad, and just treat you like absolute crap? I hope this wasn't too long to read, thank you all.
KatZee Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 I am so sad, and I don't understand. She hurt me so much, and doesn't want to talk anymore. How could a person who once loved you, and who you cared for, hurt you so bad, and just treat you like absolute crap? Look in the mirror and ask yourself that question. I see a lot of unhealthy behavior from you towards her. Getting "really angry because of her" --- no. You're in control of yourself. I'm not sure where all your "trust issues" came from when you never even had a girlfriend before. It doesn't even sound like you guys were together all that long and there was loads of fighting. And then you yell in her face, "I don't know how I could have ever loved you." So it's not as if she were the only party treating the other poorly. You both played your parts. That all being said, first love sucks. But that's why they call it "First" because there will be seconds, thirds, fourths and so on. You're both extremely immature and learning what it means to be in a relationship. Take your lessons on to the next person.
CostaMesaStudent Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 I know how you feel. You are very young, so don't despair. Things happen for a reason, remember that. I'm 24 myself, and had my first love at age 23. When he broke up with me, trust me i felt the world was going to end. I was so sad, couldn't stop thinking of him. He wasn't mean to me, but things just didn't work out that well. He still cares about me, and so do I; but we both know we are not meant to be together. I just had to move on, even though i didn't want to; time went by and i met a nice guy and things turned ugly. So now, i have to move on again. In brief, in your case since you are very young and it's ur first time, but you will be eventually fine. Just go out with friends, do not try to contact her, and talk to anyone who can give you some advice.
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