KimR Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 Boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. Live together, and have 3 kids from separate divorces. We are deeply in love and talking marriage in the future, but I have a habit of "self-sabotaging" my relationships. I cause drama where none should be, I make a big deal out of little things. He is great and has put up with me this long, I just wonder how much longer he will. I feel like I am not "good" enough to love. I was always controlled and abused in previous relationships so I feel if he does not do that then he must not love me. I KNOW how stupid that sounds and its wrong. I am not dumb, my thinking is just off and I dont know how to fix it. Its almost like I want him to be controlling or I wont feel loved. When that is all you have known its hard to be in a normal relationship, or even know what ones is supposed to be like! I have thought about counseling before anyone says that. Not sure about that. I just dont know how to stop making a huge deal out of nothing. Its like the more we argue and he "validates" that he loves me the more comfortable I feel. He loves me with all his heart is is never going anywhere, he told me that, so I am not scared of him cheating or anything. I trust him 100%. I am not sure what to do.
Recommended Posts