heather_1 Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 My mate has been going out with this girl for a year, he is 21 but every week he ends up getting with different girls in the clubs. I personally dont agree with this but it is his choice so I don't get involved. The issue is that one of my other mates likes his girlfriend and it kills him to watch my mate making out with these girls. At the weekend he confronted him in the club and they had a massive argument about it. Well now the other mate has told me he wants to tell the girlfriend. Im usually someone who keeps out of it and thinks you have to put your mates before girls. Do you think I should stop him telling her or just let him do what he wants?
RachR Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 My mate has been going out with this girl for a year, he is 21 but every week he ends up getting with different girls in the clubs. I personally dont agree with this but it is his choice so I don't get involved. The issue is that one of my other mates likes his girlfriend and it kills him to watch my mate making out with these girls. At the weekend he confronted him in the club and they had a massive argument about it. Well now the other mate has told me he wants to tell the girlfriend. Im usually someone who keeps out of it and thinks you have to put your mates before girls. Do you think I should stop him telling her or just let him do what he wants? Well if you don't get involved with the other stuff because you don't think it's any of your business or mind having a friend with terrible character (the cheater), then by that standard I don't understand why you'd try to stop this other friend since that's obviously none of your business then too.
Ninjainpajamas Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 Chances are telling his GF is going to have no positive affect... He'll simply feed her some BS and being 19 and thinking she's in love with the guy she'll convince herself that It's true and try to forgive him for it and move on, he'll be good for two weeks then start poking every other girl at the club all over again....and then guess who looks, feels stupid? you guys for opening your mouths and then having to feel double-crossed because she's still with him now and doesn't want to hear anything and wants to believe his BS and you'll be shunned by the friend and he'll blame you for trying to ruin his life. Also, your other friend obviously has an agenda IF he likes her, there's in it for something for him If she leaves the guy. The only effective course of action is communicate with your friend, tell him how he'd feel If he gave her an STD accidentally or why does he feel like it's ok to put her through this, which I'm sure he'll deflect but he'll think about it in his own time....also don't go out with him as much or don't wingman for him If he needs you to...he sounds like a guy who does well on his own though and that's the best way, so I'm not sure how big of a role you guys play in this whole scheme. AT the end of the day I'd just stay out of it because it can blow up in your face, and this is between him and his GF, which unfortunately will likely do the emotional thing rather than the rational thing...but she likely knows somehting isn't right or has reason to believe he may be up to no good...I mean the damn guy is out at a club every weekend, she can't be completely in the dark, she likely her issues that cause her to be with a guy like this, so she'll trade this guy likely for another who is the same anyway or won't like the "good" or "nice" guys...until she figures that out then she's the master of her own decisions just like everyone else. He can't hide this forever, something will give, it always does with cheating. 1
Author heather_1 Posted October 16, 2012 Author Posted October 16, 2012 Chances are telling his GF is going to have no positive affect... He'll simply feed her some BS and being 19 and thinking she's in love with the guy she'll convince herself that It's true and try to forgive him for it and move on, he'll be good for two weeks then start poking every other girl at the club all over again....and then guess who looks, feels stupid? you guys for opening your mouths and then having to feel double-crossed because she's still with him now and doesn't want to hear anything and wants to believe his BS and you'll be shunned by the friend and he'll blame you for trying to ruin his life. Also, your other friend obviously has an agenda IF he likes her, there's in it for something for him If she leaves the guy. The only effective course of action is communicate with your friend, tell him how he'd feel If he gave her an STD accidentally or why does he feel like it's ok to put her through this, which I'm sure he'll deflect but he'll think about it in his own time....also don't go out with him as much or don't wingman for him If he needs you to...he sounds like a guy who does well on his own though and that's the best way, so I'm not sure how big of a role you guys play in this whole scheme. AT the end of the day I'd just stay out of it because it can blow up in your face, and this is between him and his GF, which unfortunately will likely do the emotional thing rather than the rational thing...but she likely knows somehting isn't right or has reason to believe he may be up to no good...I mean the damn guy is out at a club every weekend, she can't be completely in the dark, she likely her issues that cause her to be with a guy like this, so she'll trade this guy likely for another who is the same anyway or won't like the "good" or "nice" guys...until she figures that out then she's the master of her own decisions just like everyone else. He can't hide this forever, something will give, it always does with cheating. That is actually some fantastic advise right there! That is sort of what I was thinking as he can talk himself out of most things. I'll make sure my mate doesnt get involved and just leaves it between them....... hopefully.
sabre80 Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 I would not worry so much about loosing the friendship or loyalty of a man with no moral compas. If he can not be loyal to a woman he is commited to, what makes you think your loyalty to him would be reciprocated to you?
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