jesslm_x0 Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 No bashing please, this is a genuine question. So, when it comes to doing things with my guy friends or aquaintances or whatever the case may be, I usually ask myself "Would I be mad if my boyfriend did this with another girl?" and generally the answer is yes. For example, having lunch with my male lab partner after class on campus. Not weird at all to me, but if I heard that he did it, I'd be suspicious. There is maybe one girl that I'm cool with my boyfriend being with one on one. I've met her, she's awesome, and definitely not a girl who poses a threat; however, there are a handful that I don't get a good vibe from. There's one girl who he met up with in a parking lot so he could hand her some forms that he got in class that day. I was weirded out when I found out because the parking lot they met at was maybe a mile from the school and it was during the day, so why couldn't she have gone to get it herself? A friend of mine also knows this girl quite well and says that she's pretty trashy. Regardless, the issue here stems from the fact that I would probably do the same for a guy classmate that I knew if I was in the same boat and was available to drop it off. Unless he had made advances towards me or something, I would have no reason to say no. Does that mean I'm overly jealous? There are big differences between my boyfriend and I: I am very outgoing, have tons of friends (still live on campus), go out regularly, and meet new people all the time. He, however, is a bit older than me and in grad school so he spends most of his time alone at home studying. He doesn't really go out unless it's with me or his close guy friends. It would just be more out of character for him to be in one-on-one situations with girls than it would for me with guys. I am by no means attracted to these men or interested in them romantically, but we may catch a bite after class or meet up to study. He has no problem with this and I just feel terrible that I have a problem with him being in situations where he's alone with another girl. I do NOT want to be a hypocrite and if you all think I'm just being jealous and petty, then you're probably right. The way I see it (correct me if I'm wrong) is that guys generally act a certain way around girls that is different from how girls act around guys. I feel like it's easier for a girl to keep it platonic then a guy. That's where I feel the area is grey and I'm not really sure if that is valid. Now, I love my boyfriend and I really do trust him. I just want to make sure I'm being the best possible person I can be and not allow myself to hold him to standards that are hypocritical. Insight please
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