debber01 Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 Long story short, have rescued Siberian Huskies for years. Myself and stbxh. Had 13 now down to 5 but have saved 42. He's filed. Wants to still be able to see the dogs but these dogs are depressed as hell without him here. Opinions? The dogs are going to happy as hell to see him but will be depressed as hell, again, when he leaves. They feel abandoned just like young kids do. And they don't even have the processing ability of a child. Would I be petty by saying no? You left these dogs. That was part of the deal. So no. You made your choice and you said goodbye to me, the kids and the dogs? Or is that me being angry and petty? I need to figure out what's best for the kids and the dogs (and sometime have to figure out what's best for me. But have too many others to take care of before I can think about myself (they are very emotional and not dealing with it--if you are a dog lover I'm sure you get this). So is it better to let him back into their lives when he's going to leave again and I have to clean up their hurt or just deny him access altogether? It's different with kids. He's Dad and always will be but dogs are different. They just can't process. Not even as well as a 5 year old child could. Opinions? Has anyone else had to deal with this!
TiredFamilyGuy Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 Debber Sorry you are getting a divorce. Yes, it seems petty.
Author debber01 Posted October 16, 2012 Author Posted October 16, 2012 Thanks for the responses. Wasn't sure if I was being petty or not. I need a reality check on most things these days. So I guess I should go ahead and let him see them. Not sure how long it would last anyway. He's emotionally detaching himself from everything/everyone so I don't imagine he'd visit them more than a few times anyway. Thanks for the perspective.
ace5950 Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 I disagree as I just went through this. after separating with my ex my dogs and cats were depressed for months. Animals have emotions and feel pain. I would not let him see them. You're right, he mad the choice to leave and that includes the animals. I would give him a chance to say good bye to them but I would not make yourself uncomfortable in order for him to visit the dogs. 1
Author debber01 Posted October 16, 2012 Author Posted October 16, 2012 Thanks Ace. That was my first inclination too. He's been gone for a week and the dogs are devastated. I know they are probably picking up on my emotions but the one that he was closest to isn't eating or sleeping very well. She just lays on the kitchen floor and stares at the wall. :-(
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