manofmystrey Posted July 29, 2004 Posted July 29, 2004 hi there I have posted before and some of u know what i am going through. But here is my issue i have broken up with my ex and we have not talked for a long time since the break up that is. She broke up with me over a nasty email and she did not even have the respect for me or for all the time we were together or all that i went through for to call me and tell me. The jist of the email was I hate u and yes i am seeing someone else and i dont care what u think. She told me that she blames me for her brothers and her relationship and that she can never forgive me for defending her and getting involved in her family affairs. Now u see her brother committed suicide and it felt like she was blaming me for it. All i ever wanted to do was protect her from her brother when he used to beat on her and most of the time is seemed like she was begging me to defend her. But now she blames me for it. I gave much to help her and my education was one of the things and she told me that i would never be much and that i did not deserve to be with her. What is bothering me is that why do i feel guilty about protecting her. I sometimes blame myself for what did happen between her and her brother. I dont why. I am ready to move and meet new people and do new things but i just cant seem to let go of the things she blames me for. I am not sure what to do. What i do know is i want nothing to do with her i dont want to talk to her and i dont want to see her. But why do i blame my self for their relationship?
wolvie666 Posted July 29, 2004 Posted July 29, 2004 Like I said before this girl seems to have issues and you have nothing to feel guilty about. You did a lot for this girl and if she can't recognize it she will someday and on that day she will feel pretty terrible about herself. You did what you felt was best because you loved her. When you are engaged to somebody you are pretty much a part of their family (at least I was) and you are involved in you fiance's life no matter what. Don't sweat it. You will be appreciated by somebody else.
fellowes7892000 Posted July 31, 2004 Posted July 31, 2004 I agree, she's very hurt and confused by what's happened and she's not reasoning she's just clutching at straws by blaming you for what happened. if you did what you did as a genuine act of love, one day she will realise it. no doubt about it. she's obviously been through a huge amount of pain and is probably just looking for any way to make it stop. good for you for doing what you think is right, and don't ever blame yourself for sticking up for a girl you love, especially when she was in physical danger. she'll appreciate you one day, and one day some other girl will see the very admirable side of you which you have displayed. be careful not to make it any worse for this current girl though. she's hurt, and probably very confused about life in general, if you love her then don't ever do anything to hurt her, or make it worse. you probably want recogition for what you did, not because you you want to be praised, but just so that you know that she understands why you did it, and then you can stop feeling guilty. you may never hear a thankyou from her, but be assured she'll think it dave
Author manofmystrey Posted August 2, 2004 Author Posted August 2, 2004 hey dave thanks for the post, u are right about everything. Me and her have not talked since jan but I have never tried to hurt her and she is the one that has stoped talking to me. She has been through alot and did what i could to protect her and sometimes in the that all one can do. What hurt me was that she blamed me for everything. Mean while all she wanted was to be with someone else. I would have steped into on comming traffic for her if that ment making sure that she never felt pain but she did not feel the same for me. I wish her the best in her life and that she can maybe one day find some closure and some stability in her life. And i do believe that my special someone is out there, just need to find her but not until i can stop some of the guilt i feel about what happened. I guess the fact that she used her brother as the reason to leave me is what makes me feel guilty.
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