seaplane Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 I'll try and keep this short. I met a girl about 2 1/2 months ago while out with a group of friends. We got along great and ended up connecting again about two weeks later. At the time I had no idea of her age since she knew some of my friends. She is 29 and I am 38. It seems that we both tend to run in a mixed group of people age wise due to our similar intrests. We are both college educated, we both own our own homes and we both have great careers. No kids. We have never discussed age but I have this feeling that she thinks that I am a couple years younger than I really am. This terrifies me to no end because I am afraid that she may run for the hills when she finds out. There is no doubt that we really like each other and we share alot of common goals and intrests. We are both very active .I feel like she is going to bring it up at any time and again...I am terrified. I do not want to loose her. I know the truth is the way to go but how do I best deliver that truth? Both of our parents have similar age gaps btw and it is about the only thing I cling to. That and the fact that she also has friends closer to my age in her group. It has been an amazing 2 1/2 months. Any advice?
Oxy Moronovich Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 Just treat her like you would treat a woman your age. She's gonna be 30 soon anyway.
GirlontheLam Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 29 and 38, not really a big deal at all. Now 20 and 29 is.... 3
todreaminblue Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 I'll try and keep this short. I met a girl about 2 1/2 months ago while out with a group of friends. We got along great and ended up connecting again about two weeks later. At the time I had no idea of her age since she knew some of my friends. She is 29 and I am 38. It seems that we both tend to run in a mixed group of people age wise due to our similar intrests. We are both college educated, we both own our own homes and we both have great careers. No kids. We have never discussed age but I have this feeling that she thinks that I am a couple years younger than I really am. This terrifies me to no end because I am afraid that she may run for the hills when she finds out. There is no doubt that we really like each other and we share alot of common goals and intrests. We are both very active .I feel like she is going to bring it up at any time and again...I am terrified. I do not want to loose her. I know the truth is the way to go but how do I best deliver that truth? Both of our parents have similar age gaps btw and it is about the only thing I cling to. That and the fact that she also has friends closer to my age in her group. It has been an amazing 2 1/2 months. Any advice? common lifestyles goals and interests are much more important than age......it should go more on how well you mesh on personality than years....my family base more on what i have said my oldest daughter has a relationship where there is eight years difference i support my daughter as long as they are on the same path..even then it is her relationship and not mine .....age is a number the only time it should come into it is maturity personality and lifestyles which incorporates goals interests and values....my daughter is the younger one and she is often more mature....lol....thats the way it goes.........that is far more important that you mesh lifestyle wise...you should be truthful though, honesty is maturity...whether the outcome or not is good or bad tell her your age...its shows depth of character and responsibility...i wish you luck ........deb 1
FitChick Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 When I was 29 I dated someone forty. It didn't feel like a huge age gap. I suppose it depends on the two people.
Author seaplane Posted October 17, 2012 Author Posted October 17, 2012 Thanks all. I have always worked around people of all ages so even though I am "older" I still have a younger guys atitude. To be clear I do not seek out younger girls. We just hit it off and I saw that she had her stuff together. In my industry(sports) older guys dress younger and are up on things more so than alot of younger people. She and I do share alot of similar intersts and up until now you would never know that there was such a gap. To be clear I am not an immature idiot but I am not a stuffed shirt either. Till now age has not mattered. I plan on being nothing short of truthful but I am so scared that once it sets in it might be too much for her. Am I not giving her enough credit? The truth is the best...How should I answer it if asked? I'm so worried that I do not know what will come out of my mouth...more specifically how it will come out:o. Thanks again guys.
Mrlonelyone Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 Here are some encouraging words. I know someone who is 38 and about to marry someone 32. I know someone who's 44 and married to someone who's about 32 for the last 15 years. A good friend is now married to her long time beau who is 20 years older than her. Yes this can and does work. Age is just a number. A wise and mature 29 year old woman will see a man in your position as a positive. A unwise 29 year old woman will not see the positives you offer. If she is unwise, then she wouldn't be good for you anyway. Now go and get her.
Imported Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 If she has your name, she probably googled you. Google yourself, see what she already knows about you.
Author seaplane Posted October 17, 2012 Author Posted October 17, 2012 Here are some encouraging words. I know someone who is 38 and about to marry someone 32. I know someone who's 44 and married to someone who's about 32 for the last 15 years. A good friend is now married to her long time beau who is 20 years older than her. Yes this can and does work. Age is just a number. A wise and mature 29 year old woman will see a man in your position as a positive. A unwise 29 year old woman will not see the positives you offer. If she is unwise, then she wouldn't be good for you anyway. Now go and get her. Thank you. That is encouraging. I hope she sees/is seeing it that way.I was lucky in that she picked me:). I keep running this vision through my head...playing different scenarios and what I will say... and I keep focusing on a negative ending, me without her and missing her. I really hope I am just over reacting. I have read other forums and most people say that age is just a number and it seems that our difference is not a big deal due to our ages. 30 and 20 maybe but our ages not so much.
sweetkiwi Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 you need to stop making a big deal of it. Age is nothing. Now maturity is a completely different beast. If she flips out over less than ten years then maybe she's not as mature as she should be. If she asks you before you get the chance to bring it up just act like its no big deal. If it is a big deal to you then why are you dating a younger girl at all? Chances are she sees you for you. Not age. I have regularly dated older guys. My current man is only 4 years older. It just depends on the chemistry. 0
Ninjainpajamas Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 I think you're worried over nothing...chances are she knows how old you are, and chances are she wouldn't care much anyway, she's practically 30 as well. Even though you'll outweigh her on the experience level in terms of relationships and in the romantic department, she's old enough to at least have some experience and you don't even know If she's dating an even older man than you before...I see a lot of women date men of all ages throughout their lives so I wouldn't be so surprised, maybe not that large of a gap but you really can't even say. I think the last thing she would do is be totally turned off and just run away, and then she might be thinking you're older so you're ready to settle down instead of play the field...sowed your wild oats already. It's a good thing that you're this concerned, but I'm sure she knows you're not exactly a spring chicken.
kiss_andmakeup Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 9 years at your age group is nothing; don't even give it a second thought! ;]
liquid_amber Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 that doesn't seem like a big age difference to me. age isn't so much an issue once you get past your late 20's or so. if she was under 25, maybe that could be a problem. but a 29-year-old dating a 38-year-old is no big deal.
EasyHeart Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 (edited) She is 29 and I am 38.It sounds perfectly normal to me. It's the same age difference as between my mom and dad. ARE YOU INSULTING MY MOM?!?!? Edited October 17, 2012 by EasyHeart
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