funnyface Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 (edited) So me and this guy met through our mutual friend, and have seen each other a handful of times - talking, flirting, etc. We both like each other (more on that later) but we haven't been on a date. I wasn't even 100% sure of his feelings until yesterday (he would talk to me online, and then not talk to me for days, then ask me why I haven't been talking to him... hot and cold) when everything got laid out on the table... So, we were hanging out with friends yesterday when he started saying "there is more than one reason I come down to visit, I think you know what it is". Later on, people started saying what a cute couple we make, and he leaned over and said to me "See, we would be cute. Everyone thinks we should be together but you. Why are you fighting it?" Though I was somewhat happy that now he's dropping serious hints, I was also completely confused. Then our mutual friend, seeing our flirtiness, told me that he has a girlfriend. When I asked him more, he was like "well... its not really serious, just kind of a rebound thing. But don't give up... maybe in a few months things might happen with you two." And then, I was even more confused. This prompted an over hour long private conversation, where basically, he told me how much he liked me and wanted to be with me, and tried to kiss me about 20 times. I held back, because I said that he only gets to kiss me if he asks me out, and also, I don't know what his deal is with dating other people. He got frustrated and kept saying that I'm the one being reserved, and kept asking "are you in, or out?" and also a little bit of argument. Essentially, nothing got resolved, except for the fact that now we both know we are attracted to the other. I thought that once we kind of told each other we liked each other, then things would work out and we could start dating. Now I feel like it just screwed everything up. I am holding back because I still do not know what his situation is with other girls. If he has a girlfriend, then I cannot do anything. If he is just dating around, then I can understand that - but I feel like the more I hold back, the more he will just settle into whatever "situation" he has going on with someone else. On the other hand, if he really likes me then I feel like he should make an effort (unless I'm completely wrong). He hasn't even actually asked me out, and we only talk online. At the same time, now he keeps saying that I am not interested, and that he "tried" - should I reassure him of my feelings? I just don't know if this is something I did wrong, or if he is just trying to play me. I really want to work things out with him, but I just don't know what to do next. Edited October 15, 2012 by funnyface
xpaperxcutx Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 I can tell you are a smart cookie but you're letting your emotions get the better of you. If you are already aware that he is dating someone else, why are you still allowing yourself to be toyed around by him? Even if you are cruel and do not care about the other girl(s) involved, you should at least hold yourself in higher regards. Do not stoop to his level. One thing i am aware f, a man will try to get away with whatever it is you allow him to. If you persist with the flirtations, know very well even if you do end up with him, he might do the same thing to you as he did to the other girl(s). Be a smart girl and find yourself an available man. 1
HelloEveryone1986 Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 Hi, fighting for someone you like is great. However, I think you should forget about him unless he breaks up with his gf and comes to you. If he really liked you as much as he claims, then he'll do his best to be with you. He also tries to blame you for this and that, don't take that crap. 2
dispatch3d Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 I'd probably go for the reassuring him. I'd also go on some dates with him to figure out what you both are interested in. The girlfriend is obviously a bad sign, and if he's just looking to cheat then 3-4 dates with no sex and talking about relationships should send the right message.
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