CostaMesaStudent Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 Ok, so here we go. About 5 months ago, I met this guy and we clicked somehow. Anyways, at the beginning he told me that he's got depression, bipolar, anxiety, and i decided to stick around. He told me he wasn't looking for a boyfriend due to his mental condition and living situation. We live in OC, CA, but he hates it! In a whole year, he hasn't made a single friend besides me (not anymore) As time went by, we became really close and he used to spend the weekends with me. He used to call me babe, kissed and hugged me, but everytime he was mad at me, he used to say that i was just a companionship and nothing beyond that. I was fine with it, thinking it was his anger speaking. Anyways, we went to texas and everything went pretty well. I met his sister, no fights. When we came back, one night I was quite distant and he noticed it, and then i asked him not to leave crumes on my carpet and he snapped. He went postal, he tried to kick me and spitted on my face (he had a few drinks that night) then it happened again, he got physical ( i know not very healthy) he made me wait for 2 hours in the parking lot, and then got all mad at me cuz i made him wait 5 min. He said his back was killing him, i was so upset that night that i asked to get out of my car, and things got ugly. he said I provoked him by asking him to leave, he said if he would have left the car, he would never get back in. Finally, this weeekend, he went to visit his friends which made him really happy, and since he again made me wait. We got in a huge argument, and we called it quits. It was my fault cuz I saw him happy and my negative attitude ruined the night (i will have to live with it) He finally made it official, and he told me that he wants to move to another city; that he is not attracted to me, that i should move with him, but as friends and nothing else, nothing beyond that, no expectations; he says that after those three big fights he thinks there is no way we can be more than friends since because of that I made worse his mental issues) Last night, we had our last dinner and everything was fine, and all of the sudden he became all agressive and rude. He said that he is a catch, and I'm not. That I'm an ESL with an accent. That I had gold in front of me, and I treated him like s*. He uses to say that everytime he is mad. Oh well, we have been on and off for 5months, and I think that was it. Problem is that I still care about him and honestly i like him. I know i made him mad many times, and he is a VERY VERY sensitive guy. I had to watch my mouth all the time cuz of his short temper and depression/anxiety/bipolar. When he was in a good mood, he was very sweet. But he is very moody, and I just couldn't handle it anymore I guess, and lost all my patience with him. I don't know if I should remain friend with him or just move on. I'm not perfect myself, I know I messed up last time, I ruined his night ( he called me psycopath because of that) Don't know what to think, that morning we were fine. But then everything went wrong. He has been really upset because of it, and told me that i bring negative energy; and he doesn't need that. And he walked away when i asked him to give me sometime to get over him and be friends. He didn't like that at all. Advice??
Author CostaMesaStudent Posted October 15, 2012 Author Posted October 15, 2012 he says that gays are meant to be alone. He already gave up, and I failed. It sucks!
mammasita Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 Gay, lesbian, hetero.....whatever..... You didn't fail anything. From what you've written I dont think you should remain friends. Why should you walk on eggshells for someone you have to make excuses for and who insults you? Ditch him and work on yourself.
Floored Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 That sounded like an emotionally and physically abusive relationship. The fact that he knew you only a few months before resorting to such behavior shows tremendous instability and immaturity from, not that there's a time-table for such treatment, it is just shocking to see him treat you so negatively in such a short amount of time from even meeting you. he says that gays are meant to be alone. He already gave up, and I failed. It sucks! Augmented for truth. No one is meant to be alone unless they truly want to be; your preferences in choosing your same gender don't affect that. Your ex sounds like he tries very hard to push people away, even those that try to crack through his shell as you did. Avoid the allure to solving that mystery, he made it clear that you weren't a serious thing for him, and the way he treated you throughout was non-sustainable for a long term friendship.
Author CostaMesaStudent Posted October 16, 2012 Author Posted October 16, 2012 To be honest with you, I don't know why i still feel guilty. I am the only person he had. I was supposed to be there for him through thin and thick, and watch my mouth because of his mental conditions so he wouldnt get upset, and I just couldnt make it. In one year, he made ZERO friends (according to him, people around here are ultraconservatice, and gays are not wanted here) He told me that after all this, he is not attracted to me, and that I didn't give a s* about him. Which is not true, i tried to be there for him as much as i could, but i also have a life! Don't know if there is someone who can handle all that pressure!
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