dreamstate83 Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 Maybe not angry, but stern. Don't worry, it was carefully worded to only say the truth and nothing i'd regret. I stood my ground on my principles and brought myself the closure she never could give me. $10.00 says she comes back in a month crying over the phone. Too bad it will be the wrong number. I feel a sense of relief
ReadMyThread Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 Maybe not angry, but stern. Don't worry, it was carefully worded to only say the truth and nothing i'd regret. I stood my ground on my principles and brought myself the closure she never could give me. $10.00 says she comes back in a month crying over the phone. Too bad it will be the wrong number. I feel a sense of relief Can you tell us what it said? I want to send my ex an angry letter but I see no point to lol.
Author dreamstate83 Posted October 15, 2012 Author Posted October 15, 2012 Can you tell us what it said? I want to send my ex an angry letter but I see no point to lol. I wouldn't send an angry letter if you are still emotional about things. Wait til you are over it and then you can consider sending one with a clear mind.
PlanB123 Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 I wouldn't send an angry letter if you are still emotional about things. Wait til you are over it and then you can consider sending one with a clear mind. that seems a bit of a contradiction. if you feel the need to send an angry letter then you are still emotional about it (angry) are you not?? don't get me wrong...i want to verbally abuse my ex big time. 'whore' 'slut' -- all those lovely words. so i am still very angry about it. in fact that's all i am now...just angry and desperate to blow the whistle on her to kill her 'good girl' image.
Author dreamstate83 Posted October 15, 2012 Author Posted October 15, 2012 that seems a bit of a contradiction. if you feel the need to send an angry letter then you are still emotional about it (angry) are you not?? don't get me wrong...i want to verbally abuse my ex big time. 'whore' 'slut' -- all those lovely words. so i am still very angry about it. in fact that's all i am now...just angry and desperate to blow the whistle on her to kill her 'good girl' image. Well that's the trick, isn't it? I sent a letter in response to an angry one she sent me twisting every good deed I've ever done into something evil. Her angry email kind of made me realize what was going on and so I got closure out of my response to her.
Tree_Salmon Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 Maybe not angry, but stern. Don't worry, it was carefully worded to only say the truth and nothing i'd regret. I stood my ground on my principles and brought myself the closure she never could give me. $10.00 says she comes back in a month crying over the phone. Too bad it will be the wrong number. I feel a sense of relief I think it's a sign of weakness you should have never sent. You are still emotionally invested in this person. 1
Jono85 Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 yeah just wait until the regret seeps in... and then u will contact her apologizing.. been there, done that. 1
mishy Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 I am starting to have angry thoughts creep in, but i know telling him is going to do absolutely no good and just give him more power. Stone cold Silence is far more angry.. and thats what i am planning to dish out when he contacts me.
Tree_Salmon Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 yeah just wait until the regret seeps in... and then u will contact her apologizing.. been there, done that. F**k regret. leave that sh*t alone
Author dreamstate83 Posted October 15, 2012 Author Posted October 15, 2012 I won't regret this email. I've been here before too, a couple of times.
Chi townD Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 Well, whatever helps you sleep. Personally, I wouldn't have sent an angry or "stern" letter. Doesn't really prove anything other than letting her know that she's still on your mind. And if she takes it the wrong way, the only thing that you've done is ease her own guilt about the breakup because you're being a jackass and you proved it through your letter (You can come back at me and tell me that it wasn't worded that way. But lets face it, she'll bend it to fit her needs.) and she's better off without you if you're going to act in this manner. In my experience, silence speaks a lot more than a stern letter. 2
Author dreamstate83 Posted October 15, 2012 Author Posted October 15, 2012 Well, whatever helps you sleep. Personally, I wouldn't have sent an angry or "stern" letter. Doesn't really prove anything other than letting her know that she's still on your mind. And if she takes it the wrong way, the only thing that you've done is ease her own guilt about the breakup because you're being a jackass and you proved it through your letter (You can come back at me and tell me that it wasn't worded that way. But lets face it, she'll bend it to fit her needs.) and she's better off without you if you're going to act in this manner. In my experience, silence speaks a lot more than a stern letter. I wasn't a jackass in it, and I wasn't talking down to her. She started messaging me through email angry out of nowhere and so I simply told her I'd rather drop it and move on because it's not worth fighting about. In so many words. I created my own closure since she never would provide it. I personally don't care if she twists it into whatever pretzel of a lie that she wants. I did it for me - we each heal in our own way.
Chi townD Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 I wasn't a jackass in it, and I wasn't talking down to her. She started messaging me through email angry out of nowhere and so I simply told her I'd rather drop it and move on because it's not worth fighting about. In so many words. I created my own closure since she never would provide it. I personally don't care if she twists it into whatever pretzel of a lie that she wants. I did it for me - we each heal in our own way. And I stated, whatever helps you sleep at night. I was just trying to get you to see outside the box a little. I'm not saying that you're wrong. This is an advice forum. You can do whatever the hell you want. Nothing in here is law. Never was. But, she sent you an angry e-mail. Did you think that maybe she did it in hopes that you would respond? Maybe, shoot an angry one back to ease her own guilt, or even just get you talking again which could have been her ultimate goal? To let her know that she still has a little power over you? That she pulled on the leash to make sure that the dog was still there? You can look at it about 50,000 ways. But, if this gave you some kind of closure then great. But, I have a feeling that this isn't the end...
Author dreamstate83 Posted October 15, 2012 Author Posted October 15, 2012 And I stated, whatever helps you sleep at night. I was just trying to get you to see outside the box a little. I'm not saying that you're wrong. This is an advice forum. You can do whatever the hell you want. Nothing in here is law. Never was. But, she sent you an angry e-mail. Did you think that maybe she did it in hopes that you would respond? Maybe, shoot an angry one back to ease her own guilt, or even just get you talking again which could have been her ultimate goal? To let her know that she still has a little power over you? That she pulled on the leash to make sure that the dog was still there? You can look at it about 50,000 ways. But, if this gave you some kind of closure then great. But, I have a feeling that this isn't the end... I'd agree with you if I hadn't made it absolutely impossible for her to contact me. I know she will try. I've known her for 8 years. I do appreciate the advice and sure, I'm not seeing it from all angles. I'm man enough to admit that but that's okay!
curiouslyhuman Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 I'd agree with you if I hadn't made it absolutely impossible for her to contact me. I know she will try. I've known her for 8 years. I do appreciate the advice and sure, I'm not seeing it from all angles. I'm man enough to admit that but that's okay! Not to hop on the bandwagon here, but i think Chi is correct. Hopefully it will have served some healing purpose for you, but Indifference is a blade which edges are a lot sharper than anger. You might want to consider just brushing it off if ever it reoccurs with her and just plain ignore someone who isnt all that important.
JayL Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 The letter I sent to my ex wasn't an angry letter... It was a letter of thanks and letting her know that I'll carry our good memories with us. I said I don't know what caused her feelings for me to fade, but I'll always cherish our good times together etc etc. She still hates me from telling her off the night she told me it was over and she tried to fall for me for a couple of months but couldn't and said that we can only be friends... Saying that to me was like a huge slap in the face after she introduced me to her entire family, had several meals together with her family, after all the sex we had etc. I wish I didn't let anger take over and took the highroad that night... I still feel immature and pretty low about it...
Author dreamstate83 Posted October 15, 2012 Author Posted October 15, 2012 (edited) I can agree with what you guys are saying. To be quite honest I've handled things with her amazingly well throughout this and it's probably time I stop telling myself I'm fine when it's clear I'm not 100% healed. I hid it all to be mature about the breakup without even knowing it. Thank you all for your insight. The letter has helped me to let go of things, and I don't regret sending it, but I suppose it's an eye opener for myself that even if you hide your feelings for the sake of being the better man that they will still creep up every now and then. I'm not afraid to admit when I'm wrong Edited October 16, 2012 by dreamstate83
Author dreamstate83 Posted October 16, 2012 Author Posted October 16, 2012 (edited) Annnnnnnnd she apologized for treating me bad and wants to talk this weekend. The girl who refused to communicate her thoughts for several months in our relationship now wants to openly communicate. My oh my what can of worms have I opened? Edited October 16, 2012 by dreamstate83
Jono85 Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 I'd agree with you if I hadn't made it absolutely impossible for her to contact me. I know she will try. I've known her for 8 years. I do appreciate the advice and sure, I'm not seeing it from all angles. I'm man enough to admit that but that's okay! lol looks like u did a pretty good job of making it impossible for her to contact u. can of worms? more like exactly what u were hoping for . gl lol 1
Author dreamstate83 Posted October 16, 2012 Author Posted October 16, 2012 lol looks like u did a pretty good job of making it impossible for her to contact u. can of worms? more like exactly what u were hoping for . gl lol We all have our secrets~ No but to be honest with you, I apparently still had my android logged in to my old google account like a dummy.
Chi townD Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 Annnnnnnnd she apologized for treating me bad and wants to talk this weekend. The girl who refused to communicate her thoughts for several months in our relationship now wants to openly communicate. My oh my what can of worms have I opened? Aaannnddd....it it isn't the end. LOL! I thought you sent that letter as closure. Please tell me you're not gonna see her.. 1
Author dreamstate83 Posted October 16, 2012 Author Posted October 16, 2012 Aaannnddd....it it isn't the end. LOL! I thought you sent that letter as closure. Please tell me you're not gonna see her.. Well considering I moved to another country I don't think seeing her is in the cards
Recommended Posts