Caro124 Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 Hello, So my current relationship is the weirdest and the best I've ever had. I met a man from an online game that I've been playing for years. We talked every now and then for a year but nothing more. One night, we started talking about ourselves instead of the game and from that moment until now I think we've talked pretty much everyday. Long story cut short we eventually met and we've been in a long distance relationship for over 9 months ( I live in Quebec, Canada (so I'm french sorry for the weird sentences if there is any) and he lives in Pennsylvania ). We're really lucky because his job allows him to take days off easily. I get to see him at least every month for a good week usually. We also pass all our vacations together. We spent the whole summer together which is a good 2 months and a half. He came here and I went to his place as well. I love everything about this relationship apart from the distance (everything that he is, his family, his friends, how much happier he makes me, etc. ) Now before we even meet, we already knew we had something. When I told him I already had a LDR before and that it was really difficult and all, he said ''don't worry, if everything is going well, there wont be any distance at all''. So I started the relationship thinking he would eventually move here. We even have french lessons so he can learn. So he really is trying. He says he loves Quebec, he keeps saying how he can't wait to come over again, loves my family, my friends. Problem is that his boss will soon have to move far away permanently and he wants my boyfriend to take over his job. He's really excited about that and I'm really happy for him. That's an awesome opportunity for him and a lot more money too . I just came back from Pennsylvania yesterday and the more I see him with his family and friends, the more I feel like he'll never move here and it makes me really upset. Now I'm in school and have 2 more years before I'm done with it and I don't reject the idea of moving to the states even though I'd really rather stay in Quebec. I still talked about moving to Vermont which would be a good ''deal'' since it's in between Quebec and Pennsylvania. He didn't really seemed to like the idea. He lived there for a couple of years doing the same job he does right now, but got transferred and moved back to Pennsylvania because he was unhappy there alone. He says that if we had met when he was still there, he would still be living in Vermont but to me that's another clue as to why he won't move up here. He keeps saying he cannot wait for the day that we don't have to say goodbye for weeks or months. I just don't know how to talk about this with him. I don't know if it's too soon, if I'm selfish for wanting him to move here when it would probably be easier for me to move down there since I already speak English. Most of my friends keep asking what we'll do later and I have no idea and it's really bugging me. I know he doesn't like planning things and just live day by day but I have a really hard time doing that. Please tell me what you think I should do ? Has anyone lived a similar situation?
pteromom Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 If he is getting this awesome new job that pays a lot more $$, I really think you need to put some serious thought into moving where HE is, rather than having him move to Quebec. But you have to know what you are getting into as well. If he is a person who hates to plan and just lives day by day, he will always be that way. He'll be that way about marriage, about kids, about vacations, about saving for retirement... and you will have to accept that about him in order to move forward with him.
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