acidrein_08 Posted July 29, 2004 Posted July 29, 2004 Hey you all, I am new on here and already by reading other posts I know there are a lot of different opinions out there. Well here it is: Me and my girlfriend dated for almost 9 months now. 3 days ago we were on the phone and we were arguing about things (we don't usually ever argue, and it never has been serious before). I brought up breaking up and then later I said I didn't want to, I said a lot of stuff I didn't mean in the conversation and then by the end I told her that she would have to break up with me if we were breaking up cause I wanted to be with her. She didn't at first but I was really wanting an answer, so she said yes (she wanted to break up). It was then I made the biggest mistake ever, I hung up. The next day it really hadn't hit me, I thought that we would probably fix things and that everything was ok. You see we care so much about each other and have spent every day together for a long time. She is 18 and getting ready to go to college, while i'm 19 and going for my 2nd year. We were both going to attend seperate colleges, but the one I go to is close to home and I would only go three days a week. She was going to go all week and come home on the weekends, while I would come see her at times. She had always been the positive one, telling me that we could make it through everything. Well that next day we both had ball-games, and I saw her. Then when I was playing she left and then late that night when I got home I decided to call her. She said she had just called like 15 minutes ago but only let it ring once then hung up. I told her that I needed to talk to her, and asked if she would meet me. She said she would but then I didn't think she really wanted to so I said it was ok. By the end she really wanted to meet me or for me to come over and see her. We ended up just talking on the phone, then getting off. The next day I passed her down the road and she called after that. She wanted to meet me tonight cause she felt bad for not doing it last night. She came over that night and I was trying to be strong, but she seemed different and it wasn't long before I realized it was really over. I had never been really emotional but I was then, we talked for hours and we both cried but she said she wanted to be the old her again and do some more stuff with friends, she thought it would probably be better for us before we went to college. We hugged and held each other and I told her honestly how I felt and that I wanted to be with her. We talked all night long then she said she had to go, we kissed and she slowly drove away, telling me not to throw away our pictures or anything. I went in and went to bed, but I woke up in the middle of the night and I felt so sick and hopeless. I called her today at work and asked her if she wanted me to and she said she did, but then she sounded irritated and wanted to get off the phone, she said she wasn't mad or anything. I guess that she is wanting time to go out with friends and do crazy things. We always had so much fun together and she promised me so many things, what has happened to our relationship now??
budd98 Posted July 29, 2004 Posted July 29, 2004 Hey man, I totally know what you are feeling. My g/f did the same thing to me--TWICE! The second time just happened 2 weeks ago. I understand now what she is feeling and I am moving on with my life because she will be that way for a long time to come, I'm sure. I think your ex will avoid you or want to break up as long as you are wanting her. She knows that you want her because you told her that. The more you keep telling her, the more she will distance herself from you. The best thing you can do is respect what she wants and move on. I know it feels impossible to move on, but she will relize things when you start to move on. It is the stupid game many people like to play. You always want what you can't have and when she thinks that she can't have you, well then she wants you. ONce she goes to college it is going to be even more difficult, but if it is meant to be, then let her come to you. Give yourself some respect and move on, but if she does come back then great. Hope that helps.
Author acidrein_08 Posted July 30, 2004 Author Posted July 30, 2004 To update you on things I was at work and I got a voicemail from my ex and she said she was calling me back so she could talk since she didn't get a chance to earlier, she said she might see me at the park tonight cause we both had games and told me I could call her back. That night at the park I was getting up to bat during my game and she said my name and I looked up and she smiled and said hey, I was so shocked I barely even smiled. After the game I went over to a bunch of friends and she was standing there and she didn't even make eye contact with me, we didn't talk then she left to walk over to her game and then I went home. I really want her to call tonight but I don't want to call her back, what should I do?
budd98 Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 DO NOT CALL HER. She seems to be missing you or she would'nt have been at your game and call out your name. She is trying to manipulate your mind. Let her come to you. I think you did the best thing by going right home after your game. I think that she did'nt show attention when you were with your friends was because she was feeling jealous. Just don't give in that easy, and don't let her control you. If you jump back right now, she will know that you will always be there no matter what she pulls. Keep me updated.
xeon124 Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 Originally posted by budd98 DO NOT CALL HER. She seems to be missing you or she would'nt have been at your game and call out your name. She is trying to manipulate your mind. Let her come to you. I think you did the best thing by going right home after your game. I think that she did'nt show attention when you were with your friends was because she was feeling jealous. Just don't give in that easy, and don't let her control you. If you jump back right now, she will know that you will always be there no matter what she pulls. Keep me updated. Yep, she wants to put you in an emotional box man. Don't let her. You two will probably be happy and strong together if you just stop calling her for a few. Let her come to you, and then do this: If she asks to talk to you on the phone just say, "Hey, I'm kind of upset by everything recently, I think I want a couple days to think about everything." and then leave, no matter how much she begs you to stay on the phone. Also, if she askes you to hang out just say, "Hey, I'm kind of upset by everything now, I think I need a couple days to think." Then, in a couple days, you call her up and ask her to hang out.
Author acidrein_08 Posted July 30, 2004 Author Posted July 30, 2004 Hey thanks so much for your posts, I didn't call her last night, instead I had a couple of friends over and we just hung out. But guess what, late last night she called here and they told me to answer it so I did, and we talked on the phone for a really long time. She said she'd been thinking about me all day and she said that she is a person that cares to much what other people think and she needs to stop. I asked her if she thought she'd made the right decision (about breaking up) and she said NO! She then talked about what if (we did get back together) and she told me she couldn't sleep without talking to me. The night before this is when we met, and I told her that it's a lot easier to break up with somebody then to be broke up with, and she told me on the phone that it was the other way around. She wanted to know if i'd ask a bunch of questions if we went back out (what does that mean?) But I finally got off the phone, I think she's going to call today, what's my next move?
budd98 Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 Just stay cool and don't rush back. She seems to be missing you a lot and wanting you back. Do not be the first one to spill your heart out, let her be the one. And if she does, tell her how you feel as well, but don't go overboard with emotions. Let her still wonder how you feel. Make it a challenge for her because thats what she needs right now.
Author acidrein_08 Posted July 31, 2004 Author Posted July 31, 2004 God it hurts so bad. I've done it again, i'm so stupid. I called her today cause I was really missing her and I asked her if she wanted to come over and talk, she said she would and came over. She came in and for so long I just listened to her tell me about her day and stuff, and then I aksed her to tell me how she felt about things. I tried to show her that it would work together but she just wouldn't accept it. She said she was sorry for calling last night, that she wasn't thinking about everything then (like college) and she said she really needed this time to herself. We talked forever and it was hard cause I just couldn't understand, I just wanted to do the things we always did and want to call her my girlfriend. And then I told her (forgot to mention to you all) that at work yesterday, one of my friends dared me to go talk to this girl, so I did and we talked for two hours, then my friend got her number and email address. She looked pretty shocked when I told her that and I told her I just wanted to be honest with her and then she told me that some guy called but she never called him back, but she told me to go ahead and talk to this other girl and I told her I didn't want to but she said it was ok. I wondered if this was the end and she said she just needed time, she didn't know how long, but I could call anytime I wanted to talk and I told her she could do the same, and I told her if she was done being confused and made up her mind she could call and she said she would, she would be the only one she would call. Then we both said we loved each other and she left. I thought last night she wanted to get back together but now what's going on, i'm so confused and hurt.
Author acidrein_08 Posted July 31, 2004 Author Posted July 31, 2004 Last night I was very depressed after she left and I spent my Friday night watching T.V. up in my bedroom. A couple friends called and cause we were supposed to go to the fair but they said they got held up at work, and I told them it was fine. But anyways around 11 I finally get tired so I go to sleep. Then the phone rings at like 12 and it wakes me up. I answer it and it was my ex. I was really out of it at first but she said she needed to talk to me. She talked about her night and then said (I forgot to tell you I made her a poem and gave it to her earlier.) she had read my poem again and it really made her think. (it was entitled It's Not To Late) She said that she could go to college with me and that she was sorry for playing games, although she felt like she hadn't she could see how I thought so. She sounded like she really wanted to be and I said well wait, is this going to be the same thing as last night. And she said no, she'd been thinking about it all night. She said she wants to talk to me tomorrow, and then she asks if she can call me in the morning when she wakes up, I said she can. I told her we didn't need to rush into things, that I wanted 100% of her and she said she knows, she wants to give it 110%. So I just woke up and she probably will soon, what do I say or do??
Author acidrein_08 Posted February 9, 2005 Author Posted February 9, 2005 I forgot to ever update this after that day. We did end up getting back together and went through college just fine. We both went just 3 days a week and we saw each other more than we thought we would. This sounds so much like what is happening now so I wanted to put it at the top of the board so you all can maybe learn how she is different from other girls. I constantly kept contact with her and broke the no contact rule quite frequently. As you can see in my new post, she is contacting me and spilling out some of her emotions on me and telling me she loves me. Don't you think its time to start asking her some questions as if she made the right decision? And P.S. Thanks to everyone who has continually helped me through this relationship.
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