Shohane Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 I have 3 roommates, they have known each other since previous years. I'm a freshman. One of them didn't like me since she set eyes on me, and she told the other two to follow suit. Now 3 of them are "together" and behaving unfriendly towards me. I don't mind as long as they don't affect my studies or don't do anything ridiculously unreasonable. Last week, one of them asked me to take turn cleaning the bathroom every week, and before I agreed to it, she posted a calendar schedule in the bathroom as if it's a "rule" I had to follow. Thing is, I don't want to do it every WEEK; every month seems reasonable to me. I'm gonna talk to her about that but if she disagrees, what do you think would be a reasonable resolution? Once my mom helped me move in and the R.A. roommate came telling my mom to leave because campus rule didn't allow guests overnight. But 3 weeks later, they invited 6 guys to stay overnight in the living room and they were noisy until 3-4 AM. One of them is an R.A. but intentionally violated campus rule anyway. I came out and politely asked them to keep it down (but they didn't). I'm pretty sure they hold a grudge against me for such trivial thing like that. Yesterday she even said, "If I see your cup on MY side of the sink, I'll throw it in the garbage." I was thinking, "Wow, where's the hostility coming from!?" I should have said, "If you throw my cup in the garbage, then you'll have to buy me a new one." So... I'm asking your advice on how I should go about dealing with these girls..
CarrieT Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 Last week, one of them asked me to take turn cleaning the bathroom every week, and before I agreed to it, she posted a calendar schedule in the bathroom as if it's a "rule" I had to follow. Thing is, I don't want to do it every WEEK; every month seems reasonable to me. I'm gonna talk to her about that but if she disagrees, what do you think would be a reasonable resolution? I don't understand; there are four of you living in the place and if there is a schedule, aren't you only having to clean the bathroom once a month with the others taking their turn on the other three weeks? Cleaning a bathroom once a month is probably fine if only one person is using it... With that many people in one bathroom, you SHOULD be cleaning it weekly. Living alone, I still clean my bathroom weekly.
O'Malley Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 A different roommate should clean the bathroom weekly...shared space means that everyone has equal responsibility. As far as the hypocritical behavior, speak up and assert yourself about what is reasonable (and calmly confront when it's not a reasonable request). Focus your energy on your courses and activities and not the roommate dramatics. If the communication doesn't improve, either request a room change or find off campus housing - life's too short to deal with prima donnas.
Els Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 Why can you not move out next semester? Most colleges have several options for housing. It's not easy to live in a place with that sort of hostility down your back all the time, especially if it genuinely is 3 against 1 as you say. It can take an emotional toll on you. Re: The bathroom, I would personally just cooperate with that. If there are 4 of you and it's a weekly schedule, you'll be cleaning it once a month. That isn't really a huge problem and as long as the other girls do their share, there shouldn't be too much to clean. IF they don't do their share, yes, raise the issue.
Author Shohane Posted October 16, 2012 Author Posted October 16, 2012 (edited) We have 2 bathrooms, 2 people share each. This morning, one of them asked me to put 8 more toilet paper rolls in the bathroom because she claimed she had put 10 in already. That was a lie. When I moved in, I put out 6 rolls, then 2 more rolls, total of 8! We always took turn to empty the trash can but recently, she didn't empty the trash can, waiting for ME to do it. I did it once or twice, then I started using my OWN trash can, then she started to limit her trash. Moving out is not an option because I'm in professional school, no time, no car, and it's much more expensive living outside. Edited October 16, 2012 by Shohane
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