samslick Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 For all those who doubt it will ever get better, it most certainly does. Time really does heal. For the first 4-5 months after the divorce, it was absolutely horrible. I lost 20 pounds (I'm 6'2", weighed 195 prior to the divorce). Had chest pains, nightmares, just felt like I was in a daze for 4-5 months. The hardest part was letting go of the obsessive thoughts and memories. Just took a lot of will power and being creative. I've gained weight again, I eat better, and exercise. I started getting back into my hobbies and interets, reconnecting with lost friends and I started dating again about 2 1/2 months ago. The most important thing now is that I know what makes me happy, I know who I am as a person, and I know exactly what I don't want out of a relationship. I've gone out with 5 or 6 different women now (through online dating), and although none of them have panned out into something special, it's still been very helpful at rebuilding and also improving my self-esteem. I don't struggle with talking to women, but I was pretty scared of getting back into dating after being out of the game for 8 years. It's a bit frustrating to go on a lot of dates and nothing seems to perpetuate into something great, but I guess I just have to let it happen naturally and whatever happens, will happen. I just can't belive it's been a year already. Time dragged in the beginning, but now that I don't wake up thinking about my ex-wife or past memories, it's so much easier to function normally.
CopingGal Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 Congratulations. Thanks a bunch for sharing your story.
Mr Reptile Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 This is what this forum needs! Thank you for sharing your story, you are very strong for being with the same partner 8 years and already feeling this great, 8 years is a long time. About your dates, it takes time to find someone you match with, that's the point. It has to be rare, because then we realize WHEN we found true love. Keep it up
Author samslick Posted October 17, 2012 Author Posted October 17, 2012 This is what this forum needs! Thank you for sharing your story, you are very strong for being with the same partner 8 years and already feeling this great, 8 years is a long time. About your dates, it takes time to find someone you match with, that's the point. It has to be rare, because then we realize WHEN we found true love. Keep it up Thanks, I think the healing came easier as it was such an abusive/violent relationship (which started within 3 months of being married). Being away from it (despite as much as I loved her) helped tremendously. I'm 29, we met when I was 20 and she was 17. I made a lot of mistakes and did a lot of reading and soul searching to figure out where I went wrong. I still read threads in here, and I know first hand how depressing and horrible the coping phase is. I managed to get through this without a therapist, but was pretty close to going to one a few times.
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