Sarah89 Posted October 14, 2012 Posted October 14, 2012 So let me tell you my story. I was with my ex boyfriend for a year and 4 months and there was a massive spark between us both at the beginning of the relationship and throughout it all, right up until about 3 weeks ago. I go to the same college as him, which is where we met. We began arguing over silly things about a month ago, by silly things I literally mean things like drinking each others drink and not asking or who's house we were going to at the weekend. Silly right? Ever since we've been arguing and falling out with each other the spark has literally gone out and the love that we had for each other has disappeared. He broke up with me 6 days ago because he doesn't feel the same as he first did. The break up was hard for both of us, he told me he didn't want to be in a relationship anymore, we were both in tears. I know I've driven him away by all the arguing we did. I feel so stupid. I still love him and want to be with him, I'd do anything to sort things out and get that spark back. Don't get me wrong I know things don't last forever and I know I'm only young and have my whole life ahead of me. I still see him at college in my classes, break, lunch and going home (pretty much all the time). I saw him 2 days before we broke up and he was being the best boyfriend I could ever ask for, he made me tea and toast ready for when I arrived at his house (tea and toast is my favourite) then we had a good day out together shopping and we went out for a meal. How can it go from that to a break up? His friend (who is one of my friends too) has told me that my ex doesn't see us getting back together, quote "I doubt it". After the break up at college my ex has been friendly with me, smiling at me in classes. Kind of sending mixed messages. But what I'm seeking for here is your help, how can I get the spark back between us? What's the best way for me to act around him? Should I make the effort to speak to him? I don't know what to do.
River Rain Posted October 14, 2012 Posted October 14, 2012 I saw him 2 days before we broke up and he was being the best boyfriend I could ever ask for, he made me tea and toast ready for when I arrived at his house (tea and toast is my favourite) then we had a good day out together shopping and we went out for a meal. How can it go from that to a break up? This is the reality of breakups. There is always someone who is floored by the question "why"? There is often no answer, you just have to move on. I had questions, blamed myself, couldn't understand how he said "I love you so much" one day then ended things the next. I don't know that there is hope for you two reconciling...I really think you should move on. Just my opinion. 2
CarrieT Posted October 14, 2012 Posted October 14, 2012 But what I'm seeking for here is your help, how can I get the spark back between us? What's the best way for me to act around him? Should I make the effort to speak to him? I don't know what to do. You probably can't get the spark back because he has emotionally moved on. I wouldn't bother speaking with him - he broke up for a reason...
threebyfate Posted October 14, 2012 Posted October 14, 2012 First, it takes two to argue. Rather than looking to take full responsibility for arguments, the question asked should be, "what changed that triggered all the arguments". In taking total responsibility for the arguments, it provides you with the opportunity to be in control of the relationship dynamics. In other words, instead of looking for ways to once again be in control, take a more honest look at why the relationship stopped working.
Author Sarah89 Posted October 14, 2012 Author Posted October 14, 2012 This is the reality of breakups. There is always someone who is floored by the question "why"? There is often no answer, you just have to move on. I had questions, blamed myself, couldn't understand how he said "I love you so much" one day then ended things the next. I don't know that there is hope for you two reconciling...I really think you should move on. Just my opinion. Thank you for your opinion. I guess life is just full of "why" and "what if". I'll move on, it's probably the best option right now.
Author Sarah89 Posted October 14, 2012 Author Posted October 14, 2012 You probably can't get the spark back because he has emotionally moved on. I wouldn't bother speaking with him - he broke up for a reason... True, thank you. I suppose it's called a "break up" for a reason too. posting on here has genuinely helped me realise.
Author Sarah89 Posted October 14, 2012 Author Posted October 14, 2012 First, it takes two to argue. Rather than looking to take full responsibility for arguments, the question asked should be, "what changed that triggered all the arguments". In taking total responsibility for the arguments, it provides you with the opportunity to be in control of the relationship dynamics. In other words, instead of looking for ways to once again be in control, take a more honest look at why the relationship stopped working. That's a very good point. I suppose we both were changing hence why we disagreed on so many things. I was never in control anyway, I'm not that sort of person but I usually take a positive approach to most things, so I'll just think positive and move on.
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