hurts_so_bad Posted October 14, 2012 Posted October 14, 2012 Hi guys...Some of you may know my story but I will give a short story for those that dont. I am married for 18 years. We seperated this past February. I was a total idiot for most of the marriage. I drank, got arrest 4 time, three of which were DWI convictions, I gambled from time too time losing thousands, and many nights never came home at all. In February my wife said she wasnt in love with me anymore so I left to stay with family. Ive worked on myself, AA meetings, gym, etc etc...It has come to a point where I am back home and she has moved out cause she could not keep up with the home. I am buying her out and getting a legal seperation to protect myself and interest in the home. I still love my wife very much and hope one day we can patch things up...The advice I need is how should I act with her? I am not 100% sure that the 180 is good for the situation being I was the screw up for so many years...I also do have a lot of anger inside of me cause right after we seperated I found out she was seeing a guy from work... I feel like if Im nice to her I am condoning everything she did after the fact and saying its ok maybe even end up in the friend zone, which there is no way in hell I want that! On the other hand I think if I am nice to her and smile she may start to see a better me and start thinking of me.. Here is a for instance....A few weeks ago we went out...We went to a nearby pub (no I didnt drink!) and shot some pool...We sat and talked and hung out for like 2-1/2 hours...We laughed and had an overall good time. The next morning at work she text me "have a good day" This is not a normal thing she does...The only times she text or called really was to ask for money or if something going on with the kids... It feels in a way that I am damned if I do damned if I dont... Just need a little advice. Thanks guys!
NavyAirTraffic Posted October 14, 2012 Posted October 14, 2012 I'm no marriage expert, heck I'm not an expert in anything except my job. It's out of your hands right now. Continue to be genuine, be who you are 100% of the time. She might realize that she wants the "new you" back or she might not. Just don't fake it, if you get angry get angry, if you want to yell, yell, so on so forth. If she does decide to take you back your genuine self will eventually show it's head again. The next question is how bad do you want it? Ask yourself is it worth spending all this time and effort if she just won't want you back one day. That's a decision you have to make, her feelings for you might be beyond repair.
Author hurts_so_bad Posted October 14, 2012 Author Posted October 14, 2012 I'm no marriage expert, heck I'm not an expert in anything except my job. It's out of your hands right now. Continue to be genuine, be who you are 100% of the time. She might realize that she wants the "new you" back or she might not. Just don't fake it, if you get angry get angry, if you want to yell, yell, so on so forth. If she does decide to take you back your genuine self will eventually show it's head again. The next question is how bad do you want it? Ask yourself is it worth spending all this time and effort if she just won't want you back one day. That's a decision you have to make, her feelings for you might be beyond repair. I know that but I wanna make sure I do the right thing and not the wrong thing. I still love her and want to see her but dont know if its a good idea to show her that.
Author hurts_so_bad Posted October 15, 2012 Author Posted October 15, 2012 bttt...........................................................................................................................................
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