Looking for light in a dark hole

[OCCDAVE]

Well I've had recent health problems and cause of them I'm pretty much gonna have to drop my emt class and try again next year.I hate it cause I was bragging to everyone ill be an emt soon enough ugh.ive dated my share of girls out of 6 one lasted a month that's it .gone through a divorce which made me have a nervous breakdown .i dunno guess that the one year she gave me bad news gets closer I'm trying to find something to hang my hat on for thos 2012 year

[caligirl23]

Please don't allow the "physical attraction" you speak of to give you hope that there still may be something there between the two of you. Sexual attraction is very superficial and can be achieved with anyone. I know, because I went through the same thing you did. My ex ended things, I was devastated and thought of all the things I did to be a good girlfriend, etc. He came around a few times after we split up and said flattering things and we even hooked up a time or two. Those times had me thinking that we had something left between us and I started going through scenarios in my mind about how because the physical attraction was still there, that there was still a connection and it bolstered my hope of a rekindling of our relationship. It wasn't. It was a man who wanted to sleep with me and nothing more. When our hook-ups never made it that far, he acted like a spolied rotten kid with the pouting and all. So, I beg of you not to make the same mistake I did by thinking of physical attraction as hope.

 

Secondly, it is the hardest thing in the entire world to not take it personally. I am still having issues with that in my past relationship. I beat myself up left and right for months, wondering what I did wrong. Did I say something to turn him off? Did I not look good enough? What could it be? It tortured me! When this slime-ball came back around, I wanted to hear what he had to say. I still felt I needed closure. I asked him what happened and what did I do. And you know what? He flat-out admitted it had nothing what-so-ever to do with me. He had his own issues with a past relationship that plagued him and made him emotionally unavailable. Of course he didn't say exactly that, but that is a long story. Point is, it wasn't about me. It was about him. That part he admitted. So, if there is any way whatsoever you can not take this personally, I hope you do. Now, if you're like I was, you'll read this and not get my point. I felt the same way when people said not to take it personally. What did they know? It was personal to me. It felt personal. How could it not be?? But, the truth is...it isn't personal 99% of the time.

 

This man has his own issues to work out that have nothing to do with you and it is not fair for you to beat yourself up over it. It really isn't fair. Do not contact him. Please. Show some self respect and know your value. Yes, it hurts, but you have to find a way to handle that and not look to him to make you feel better.

 

In closing, I have gotten back together with exes and it has been disastrous every single time. It was my only wish for so long to just have him back and it ended up reminding me why we split in the first place.

 

I wish you luck....

[OCCDAVE]

I know just sucks heck like your I held out hope we still had a chance mainly cause before dropping the bomb she called me over for the the talk .when I got there she told me she wanted to start a family and would try everything she had to(she was older so kids was a slim option).following week she tells me she slept with someone else ,2 days later she told me happy wedding anniversary which made me think she didn't cheat just wanted space .month or so after I càlled and she flat out told me F off she got preg while we were married.that lead to my nervous breakdown as well as a list of problems .sigh I've seen her since she's driving it up in her new Benz truck .i know karma has kicked me my ass just don't see no hope