Romantic_Lefty Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 I'm gonna try to keep this short. After giving the girl i thought was the woman of my dreams 3 chances at "us" (she broke up with me, we worked stuff out and then later she broke up with me, and then she came back to me after i started to date someone else) i had enough of being treated poorly and having to keep our relationship a secret. So i ended it (3.5 years of being together and longer as friends). I know it was the right thing to do even if it's been extremely hard. I unfriended her on fb, unfollowed her on twitter, and packed up everything i could to try to forget, heal, and move on. After a week of NC she tried to message me some to talk some stuff out because things ended ugly. Nothing panned out because she was 'busy'. Anyways, after about three weeks she messages me through fb (apparently you can do that if someone is not blocked). All it really had to deal with was that i was using her netflix still through xbox and she wanted me to stop. But she had to include in the beginning that i did unfriend her, unfollowed her, don't talk to her, and etc. Why would someone do that instead of just texting or messaging that they would like you to stop using their netflix? (i was unaware it was her acct) Other messages followed in a similar manner of her complaining and such. I responded to a lot of these along the lines of being hurt by her and just trying to cope and heal. And if she did still wanna be friends i felt it was upon her to give me time to heal, and make an effort showing me she actually did wanna be friends and not just hurt me. So again, why send me everything else when the problem was just with netflix? and why do i feel terrible now? Any help would be greatly appreciated, and if anyone is interested i can go further on into detail what transpired. thanks
River Rain Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 You feel terrible because her goal in dragging up past hurts was intended for you to feel bad and to appease her somehow. Stop using her Netflix, block her and don't respond to any more attempts at her to engage you in conversation because she's trying to hold on to you, but in a bad way. You gave her enough chances. There is no reason to be friends, I say just wipe the slate clean of her to be honest. 1
Author Romantic_Lefty Posted October 14, 2012 Author Posted October 14, 2012 As hard as it is for someone to just delete another out of their life...i have to agree with you that that would be the best course of action. Thank you for the input
River Rain Posted October 14, 2012 Posted October 14, 2012 As hard as it is for someone to just delete another out of their life...i have to agree with you that that would be the best course of action. Thank you for the input You're welcome. I did exactly that, I wiped him out of my life completely and it really made a big difference in my ability to move on and regain my confidence. I know not everyone can do that, but it worked for me.
Author Romantic_Lefty Posted October 14, 2012 Author Posted October 14, 2012 All i'm looking for is to move on and regain confidence, so what have i got to lose right!? i'm glad it worked out for you. 1
CopingGal Posted October 14, 2012 Posted October 14, 2012 When I kicked my ex out of my life, I changed my mail email addresses. I kept one that I had when I was with him, but blocked him on it. Months later I got rid of that one too. It got off of facebook, threw away his pics and removed every thing he gave me from my house. I even threw away the landline phone he called me on. It's extreme, but in that case I had to be. When I broke up with exes that treated me well (but the relationship was still problematic for whatever reason) I never had the need nor the urge to destroy pics or throw things away. I just went on with my life. But if someone treated me terribly in the relationship, it really helped to get rid of that person in every way after the break up and go NC. 2
Author Romantic_Lefty Posted October 16, 2012 Author Posted October 16, 2012 yes, i feel like a 'cleansing' of more than just facebook and emails is definetly in order. And i too have had other realtionships where i've had no problem just moving on. I don't know why some people need to be mean or anything towards someone they loved or us to but whatever i guess.
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