Grev Posted July 29, 2004 Posted July 29, 2004 My ex dumped me on the 23rd of July, but she went out with another guy on the very same day, who happened to be one of my good friends. After she dumped me, she never tried to contact me ever again, except for that they told me they weren't seeing each other, but as a matter of fact had our friends lied to me until the guy goes back to Hong Kong in 3 weeks. On the day that I saw her, which was the 25th (or 26th), she wanted to explain more about the situation, having the 3 of us talk, but she was doing the same old, giving me all this bull**** and I just couldn't take it anymore but slapped her, it's not hard at all, but then everybody just pointed the blame on me for being violent. I think it was just 'Post dramatic amnesia'... But anyway, today is the 28th, and I found out that because he only has 3 weeks left, she's willing to go to Auckland with him for a week, neglecting her studies, which she would NEVER do for me, I feel quite sad for what she is doing, and quite sad that he is using her like that. I'm sure I left out some things, but if you need, I can tell you more... I'm quite depressed at the moment...
dudesomewhere Posted July 29, 2004 Posted July 29, 2004 you are wrong for slapping her. I wouldn't call him a good friend, don't know why you would. and he isn't using her...what makes you think so? People do what they do...it's either a mistake to them or not. Live and learn right? There's lots of denial there...getting past that point will help you get past being depressed.
Author Grev Posted July 29, 2004 Author Posted July 29, 2004 I know I'm wrong for slapping her. He WAS a good friend. He's using her is that he's going to be gone in 3 weeks, he'll probably never come back, so there won't be any attachments, so he can have all the sex and all the company he can within these 3 weeks.
dudesomewhere Posted July 29, 2004 Posted July 29, 2004 *evil thoughts* evil but silly thoughts are you guys asian? Don't want to make any assumptions...all 3 of you? Well, I'm asian and I'm on a goofy kick...so I say let's all have a fist fight. And the one who wins you all by me a Gamecube game. What? How do I know I'll win? Lookit mah av...that's me! Yeah, I'm goofy. Must get ready for work...
Author Grev Posted July 29, 2004 Author Posted July 29, 2004 Yeah, all Asian, but she is ABC (Australian Born Chinese), I'm not, I've spent half of my life here and half of my life in Hong Kong, although I'm fluent in both languages either read or write, and my ex friend is a full on Hong Kong person, his english is crap.
Kat Posted July 29, 2004 Posted July 29, 2004 Slaps are okay....for an ex Not for someone you are in a relationship with
Author Grev Posted July 29, 2004 Author Posted July 29, 2004 But did you read what happened though? That was very painful for me.
popvix Posted July 29, 2004 Posted July 29, 2004 As much as you were hurt, theres no real justification for hitting anyone ... as much as i'd love to slap the hell out of my Ex, there are things you have to keep a lid on. This might be a cultural thing, but violence just aint cool. From what it sounds, your ex doesnt appear to be a person worth being with if they get with one of your friends the very same day - Im sure the general advice here would be to move on, cope with your emotions and loss, and try and keep a lid on your emotions. Good luck.
Author Grev Posted July 29, 2004 Author Posted July 29, 2004 Yeah, I'll have to keep a lid on my emotions, I snapped back then, I'm controlling myself so it won't happen ever again. And like the other thread said, even though she was concerned about our future, she's in the category of being 18 years old, and I'm 23, so I guess she's still young and don't know what she wants and would muck around then...
LikkleMissConfused Posted July 29, 2004 Posted July 29, 2004 Grev, this may sound harsh but it only started with a slap with my ex. Firstly YOU HAVE NO RIGHT SLAPPING HER! Second IF YOU ARE 23 THEN YOU ARE VERY IMMATURE TO LET YOUR EMOTIONS GET THE BETTER OF YOU LIKE THAT Third I AGREE WITH dudesomewhere People do what they do...it's either a mistake to them or not. Live and learn right? There's lots of denial there...getting past that point will help you get past being depressed. You are out of control because you are hurt. Deal with your hurt by turning to friends and family not by blaming her. You have probably confirmed for her that she is better without you, I know I would if you slapped me when I was trying to tell you something. At least she was honest and told you the truth, but no matter what you shouldn't have hit her. Fourth Don't make judgements about their relationship, she obviously likes him and let them get on with it, you deal with your pain, and if he is such a good friend of your why are you taking the piss by saying his english is crap if he is a Hong Kong citizen, of course it will be crap. If people point the finger at you, then you derserve it for laying a finger on her and frankly you make me real angry. There is no excuse for that kind of behaviour, at least was mature enough to tell you, and what she does with her life is her business now none of yours so get over it and get on with your life. If I sound hard I am sorry its because I have experienced domestic violence and it started with a push, then slap, then punch, then throw down the stairs and nothing should be tolerated. How would you feel if your mum did something wrong and your dad got mad and slapped her would be angry. No one deserves that. Hope you understand my point.
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