I gave her taste of her own medicine (Some Rules)

[Ramzk001]

We were together for 1 year. I love her truly. she was my everthing. She was difficult, moody and way too materialistic. One day she dumped me out of blue saying "Its a part of life". She said we'd be good without each other as breaking up is part of life. Wow! It shook me, Left me miserable. I pleaded, cried but in vain!. I missed her every night for months until i broke NC but she was way too bitter. She was like a different person and had all negative stuff on her mind. I started NC again to broke it off again after one month (Everytime i messaged or chased her), I was dillusional that she'd still had love for me, she acted normal and told me she was sad about her studies and all. I gave her support and helped her, but next day she broke up with me again and told me not message ever again that she wants nothing from me anymore

 

I was numb this time, i realized i was being such a fool. I changed myself completely that day. I came to realize i must have to think about myself first. IM MY FIRST PRIORITY. I started working on my self esteem, self respect. My mind started to get rid of her though, Making me strong. Ofcourse i did but cutting all ties (No facebook, no email, delete numbers)

 

Just after two months, I met someone else who was better person and more beautiful. I was happy again and completely forgot her. She reappeared, She messaged me that shes dreaming about me and called me being way too nice....

 

I took big step of myself, I gave her slap of rejection on her face!!! She broke down, I felt satisfied that day. Gained my confidence back, my ego gone high. Gained my self respect back. Since that day she is posting sad quotes on her facebook. I do nothing but laugh about it. Call it revenge but its unfair to hurt someone who truly loves you for nothing!! Grass is not always greener on other fence! You hurt someone and one day life will knock you down flat on the floor.

 

Heres some advices for those who loved someone truly and got hurt. Please learn from my mistakes

 

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During Relationship

 

0) Be strong. Never ever show your girl your weakness. Any weakness!

 

1) Dont be way too nice with your GF. It'll ruin your relationship

 

2) Dont always be too positive. Analyze things in negative perspective aswell

 

3) Dont get lazy in relationship.

 

4) Dont take her for granted.

 

5) Dont be a follow of your women, Be the leader. Dont say "Yes" to everything. Present yourself as a challenge. Girls love it

 

6) Dont tell her everything, Including your feelings, Girls should stay curious

 

7) Dont allow her to disrespect you. If she does, Stand up and leave. Dont be scared to walk away from her life.

 

8) Be fearless. You won't listen any bull**** from anyone.

 

9) Drag your girl out of influence from her friends. Peer pressure ruins relationship. During bad times of your relationship, Her friends will prove her that your a douchebag and jerk if you arent

 

10) Don't lie to your GF. Be honest.

 

Post Break Up

 

1) Never beg or plead or cry when they leave you

 

2) Stay strong, Stop communicating immediately.

 

3) Cut off all ties. Don't block her, You must wait for Karma, They'll come back. Then you have to decide if you accept them or not.

 

4) Pain in the gut will go away in 2 months strict NC.

 

5) Dont feel pity for yourself. Its their loss, Soon they'll realize they are missing someone who truly loved them. But there is no guarantee that they will contact you.

 

6) Kill the hope. We hope they will come back and develop illusions of getting back together times. To be honest when we are hoping less things happen. When you'd have no hope one day she'll be messaging you. Even if she comes back, It'd never be the same. She must be considering you as a back up plan. Would you be ready to accept her? I guess not

 

7) Change your bad habits, Learn from the mistakes.

 

8) Value your parents, siblings, friends. They never left you in good and bad times. Make them happy, You'd feel much better

[ilovedhim]

I like everything except this:

 

9) Drag your girl out of influence from her friends. Peer pressure ruins relationship. During bad times of your relationship, Her friends will prove her that your a douchebag and jerk if you arent

 

Honestly this could be perceived as a red flag for most women, i.e. alienating them from friends. If you are doing everything else, their friends, even the jealous, especially the jealous, won't have a negative influence on your relationship.

[Ramzk001]

@monicaelise

 

That's what i learned from my past experiences. Love makes you weak, Fear of losing someone! When my girlfriend realized it, She started to take me for granted.

 

Being Nice is okay. Being way too nice means you are going to be seen as "too Easy" and they are going to lose your respect if you be too nice. There must be a balance. Its like equation, It must be equal!. Be nice to her if she is nice to you. She was nicer when i wasnt too nice (I took that easy). When she wasnt nice, I tried too hard to please her. I concluded there must be a balance.

 

There should be partnership in which guy should lead if he wants to be with his girl for long term. Girls usually act on emotions, those emotions could be negative at times.

 

Yeah, You have to be honest when she wants to know, Expressing feelings all the time takes away all the attraction. there must be curiosity

 

Girls are more emotionally integrated with their social circle. Guys are not. During break up phase even if she loves his guy, peer pressure and bad advices of friends ruin good stable relationship. They declare someone jerk and cheater without knowing the real facts.

 

They usually go away anyway when they realize guy does have fear of losing her.

[NoMoreJerks]

Fear of losing someone! When my girlfriend realized it, She started to take me for granted.

Yup. My ex ( a guy) did this too. I totally agree with you that you shouldn't let your partner know the extent of your fear of losing them. Sure, they will know that you love them and that necessarily means that you don't want to lose them, but do not wear your heart on your sleeve -- that's always a bad idea. There must be balance in a relationship, in terms of what gets said, and what gets kept to oneself.

[Ramzk001]

@NoMoreJerks

 

Relationships are based on attraction. Its regardless of genders. When attraction is gone love is gone. When you truly love someone, Attraction remains there.

 

We must know how to keep attraction in relationship by following some basic rules. Never deviate from it. Humans always prefer stronger over weak. Fear is a weakness.

 

You should know how to bust their balls when you are being taken granted. They'll realize your worth. Attraction will come back

[KraftDinner]

My bf breaks 0, 1, 2 and 9, and it makes me the happiest I've ever been in my life.

[Ramzk001]

@Gibson

 

First of all, Good reply!

 

Yes exactly, she was young and infected with GIGS "disease". Everything was normal until her life was about to change. She had to go to college and live up her life. Before breaking up her friends played big role in changing her mind. Ofcourse she wanted reasons to get out of relationship. Then she had to go outside country for vacations, Came back brainwashed.

 

Friends (Who didnt know me) played major role in our break up.

[Ramzk001]

@Gibson

 

Sorry, The thing you above above was even bigger Horse****!

 

 

What i wrote was about attraction in dating.

 

It wasnt about parents!. If you parents taking care of each other it because they have bonds lasting years. And about diapers, Thats natural attraction of parents toward son. Dont compare that with attraction involving in relationships

 

There is a difference in every relationship.

 

If you are comparing BF/GF relationship with Parents children relationship, You Know about nothing.

[Calico]

We must know how to keep attraction in relationship by following some basic rules. Never deviate from it.

 

This is all nonsense. You are not talking about love and loving your partner. Most of your "rules" are about control and controlling your partner. And that will never work in the long run. It's not love, not even close to it.

 

It's just another futile attempt to fight the most basic rule of life: Everything changes, including feelings, and there's not a thing you can do to really prevent this, no matter how many "rules" you come up with, no matter how hard you try to manipulate other people and situations, and no matter how much you struggle.

[beyond]

@Gibson

 

Sorry, The thing you above above was even bigger Horse****!

 

 

What i wrote was about attraction in dating.

 

It wasnt about parents!. If you parents taking care of each other it because they have bonds lasting years. And about diapers, Thats natural attraction of parents toward son. Dont compare that with attraction involving in relationships

 

There is a difference in every relationship.

 

If you are comparing BF/GF relationship with Parents children relationship, You Know about nothing.

 

Relationships/marriage/dating - it's all about what REAL love is as opposed to ego.

My ex chooses not to be with me - do I suddenly hate him? No. I don't like or respect some of his actions but I'll probably always love him but know we were not right together.

[beyond]

This is all nonsense. You are not talking about love and loving your partner. Most of your "rules" are about control and controlling your partner. And that will never work in the long run. It's not love, not even close to it.

 

It's just another futile attempt to fight the most basic rule of life: Everything changes, including feelings, and there's not a thing you can do to really prevent this, no matter how many "rules" you come up with, no matter how hard you try to manipulate other people and situations, and no matter how much you struggle.

 

This Ram,is exactly what I was trying to say but Calico has put it much better.

[Ramzk001]

We had real love, But nothing ever stays the same if there is no attraction between couples. I'd again say that love is based on attraction. They stop loving you when they lose attraction for you. They get attracted somewhere else.

 

If these rules are non sense, Try begging someone while they are leaving you. Or try being way too nice with someone you love.

 

"Balance" in relationship is the key. They will continue to dump you if you do nothing to prevent possible break up.

 

Love someone, respect them, Show your worth, Dont let them ruin your self respect, self esteem and confidence.

[Charlie Harper]

Don't play games be yourself and let the chips fall as they were intended to.

You did that with the first one and she tought you were Too nice, well guess what? SHE WANTS A GUY LIKE THAT, but she was inmmature to know.

 

Now you are in a relationship and if you try to be different because you were hurt, you are missing out being yourself, falling in love with no holds and enjoying a relationship for WHAT IT IS not WHAT YOU WANT IT TO BE.

 

I used to date tons of women, and when I say tons I mean triple digit numbers, I had my rules and stuff because just like you I was Hurt and I was looking for someone to pay (turns out there were hundreds willing to pay!!! LOL!!).

 

After getting tired and lonely I got out of that game... IT WAS WORTH IT. jus be confident and say what you want and NEED, you will see it works...

 

My .04 cents

[NoMoreJerks]

@NoMoreJerks

 

Relationships are based on attraction. Its regardless of genders. When attraction is gone love is gone. When you truly love someone, Attraction remains there.

 

We must know how to keep attraction in relationship by following some basic rules. Never deviate from it. Humans always prefer stronger over weak. Fear is a weakness.

 

You should know how to bust their balls when you are being taken granted. They'll realize your worth. Attraction will come back

Agreed. Well, the "attraction" / love might not come back once it's gone, but it's a good philosophy to implement in our daily lives regardless. This is also why a lot of the time, going NC (the purpose if which is, I know, to help us move on) makes the dumper realize what he's missing out on, makes him/her realize that we did not need them that badly after all, that we will not be taken for granted no matter what, that our love was not unconditional and open to abuse.. Begging, or chasing them, on the other hand? All the wrong signals, confirms what they knew all along. Every time that I've gone NC with my ex, he almost begged me to talk with me. When we were together? He took me for granted and bitched at me for expecting him to call. I'm no longer going to be the one to sit at home or near the phone, and wait for anyone to call me. I have my own **** to do, and if a guy wants to spend time with me, he better let me know in advance. No more being taken for granted.

[Floored]

What... is going on in this thread?

 

*popcorn*

[NoMoreJerks]

Agreed. Well, the "attraction" / love might not come back once it's gone, but it's a good philosophy to implement in our daily lives regardless. This is also why a lot of the time, going NC (the purpose if which is, I know, to help us move on) makes the dumper realize what he's missing out on, makes him/her realize that we did not need them that badly after all, that we will not be taken for granted no matter what, that our love was not unconditional and open to abuse.. Begging, or chasing them, on the other hand? All the wrong signals, confirms what they knew all along. Every time that I've gone NC with my ex, he almost begged me to talk with me. When we were together? He took me for granted and bitched at me for expecting him to call. I'm no longer going to be the one to sit at home or near the phone, and wait for anyone to call me. I have my own **** to do, and if a guy wants to spend time with me, he better let me know in advance. No more being taken for granted.

I must add that most of the time, the dumper would not start feeling "attracted" again -- that he might want to get back in touch with you and get back together, is probably because of his ego; he/she might not accept that you don't need him anymore.

[KatZee]

Heres some advices for those who loved someone truly and got hurt. Please learn from my mistakes

 

During Relationship

 

2) Dont always be too positive. Analyze things in negative perspective aswell

 

6) Dont tell her everything, Including your feelings, Girls should stay curious

 

7) Dont allow her to disrespect you. If she does, Stand up and leave. Dont be scared to walk away from her life.

 

8) Be fearless. You won't listen any bull**** from anyone.

 

9) Drag your girl out of influence from her friends. Peer pressure ruins relationship. During bad times of your relationship, Her friends will prove her that your a douchebag and jerk if you arent

 

 

You'll have to excuse me here but these have to be the worst pieces of "advice" I've ever seen on LS. I can tell you from personal experience that being negative is such a turn off. I don't wallow in self-pity, I make the best of all situations. My ex was the most negative person and it was exhausting.

 

Don't tell her everything "especially your feelings." I pray to God no one takes this to heart. COMMUNICATION IS THE NUMBER ONE THING you must have in a relationship. And YES that means communicating your feelings. Your hopes, dreams, wants, desires, wishes. People are not mind readers and this is hands down the TOP reason my ex and I failed. He kept all his "feelings" bottled up and never told me. Apparently he was so unhappy and how was I to know? He never said a damn word and just pretended things were fine. NEVER DO THIS.

 

If she disrespects you, stand up and leave. This goes hand in hand with communication. If a partner does something you feel is disrespectful, OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND SPEAK UP. This has nothing to do with being "fearless" about walking out of someone's life. It means talking with your partner and saying, "Hey, you made me feel bad when.... " and you get through it. These up and run games are NOT CUTE.

 

You don't listen to b.ulls.hit from anyone? Who are you? Some authority? Sit down. Being able to listen to other people, and hear criticism, or whatever else is the mature way to live life. Not to just say "I don't listen to your BS!" and act like some macho man. Again, not cute.

 

Drag your girl out of influence from her friends? They will convince her you're a douchebag and jerk even if you're not? No, I'm pretty sure friends will for the most part always be looking out for their friend. If they are on the outside and witness douchebaggery or jerkoff'ish behavior, it's because that's how you act, and you're being a douchebag and a jerk. You have no right to "drag" her anywhere, and especially not from her friends.

 

I have to agree with Calico here, everything you say is about manipulation and control of your partner, there is nothing about love here.