bonespockirk Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 my baby broke up with me about a week ago and normally i reffer to him as my ex and i dont let myself have any emotions towards him, but at times it hurts so much, i wont admit it to anyone else but i hate the though of being wiht another guy. tonight i went out with a coworker and his name is also joe and he happens to be born on the same day same year as my ex and they have the same name, and i just feel like the universe is ****ing with me. I feel like i want to so bad call my joe but i keep reminding myself that he left me because he didnt want me and it hurts so much. I guess i realized that i dont even let myself feel the pain because i feel like i would trade anything in the world to have him, not even to have him back becasue that was bull****, but to have him for real. I've managed to delete every single mutual friend we've had in the past 2 years except 2 ppl, and i have to keep reminding myself that he does not want me at all in order to not contact him and tell him how much i love him. I feel like even in my drunk state i wouldnt dare do it becasue i cant face the rejection anymore. He had his mind so set on leaving me... and i understand... but it gets hard when im out wiht other guys and all i think about is him. I realize that the best thing i can do is to never contact him no matter how much i want him... it doesn't matter. it didn't matter for two years and it wouldnt matter for another decade. i just am not what he wants and there is nothing i can do about that. leave him alone. thats all he wants... im sorry to write this, but i just have to remind myself when **** hits the fan that my baby does not want me. that i have to fall in love with another guy... it all hurts so much. somehow the whole world is right and im the only one thats wrong because i still want... him. it hurts so much...... Link to post Share on other sites
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