NateC Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 I met this girl via OLD and she's well...really really nice and we definitely have a lot of chemistry. Ever get that feeling when you meet someone and start talking that it's like you've known each other for years? Yeah, that sort of thing. Well, she agreed to meet Monday. It's not really a "date" so to speak as I didn't mention it being one, but it's more of a way to finally meet her and see if she's the same in-person. We've talked TONS ...every day for the past week...so the question is - what's next? I don't want to go too quickly because of my own nerves or otherwise, but I also don't want to come off as not interested - because I am. So...what would be the best idea to show interest but not be too...overbearing? As I've never really dated it's a completely unfamiliar ground, so any pointers would be awesome.
gamman Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 Don't go in with the attitude that you're going to screw it up. Be yourself. Try not to think too much about , and just do it. Thinking and worrying about it will just work up your nerves. Remember, she might be nervous and thinking the same things as well. Keep it light, and just try to have a little fun. 1
Author NateC Posted October 13, 2012 Author Posted October 13, 2012 Don't go in with the attitude that you're going to screw it up. Be yourself. Try not to think too much about , and just do it. Thinking and worrying about it will just work up your nerves. Remember, she might be nervous and thinking the same things as well. Keep it light, and just try to have a little fun. "Be yourself"...hmm. I've heard that so many times, and it seems I needed to hear it again. We're both very shy (as she's told me), so it should be interesting. I'll update after Monday!
River Rain Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 Good luck! It will probably go well, maybe a little uncomfortable at first because of the shyness, but yes, be yourself, act friendly and interested. I'm envying you, I'd love to meet the guy I recently met OLD!!!
2.50 a gallon Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 One of my dating credo's was "Girls' Just Want to Have Fun", so always tried to make the first meeting a fun time or date. She might be a grown woman, but deep inside there will always be a little girl. and if you can find away to bring out that little girl to play once again you can score many points. If you can make her laugh, her body will begin to make love chemicals that will be sent to her brain saying this is a fun guy Where are you meeting? Is there a video game room nearby, you don't have to be good, just let the two of you play? How about window shopping for halloween things, look at the lights, the displays, etc. 17 years ago this weekend I was lucky enough to wangle a first date with a gal totally out of my league. First date was just so so, the second date was much better and I surprised her when I suggested for the third date she come over to may place to bake halloween cut out cookies. That brought out the little girl and we have been an item ever since. Three weeks ago, she brought home a bag of flour, just a hint it was time to get out the cookie cutters. The first batch is just about gone, and will be baking more this weekend. 2
River Rain Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 One of my dating credo's was "Girls' Just Want to Have Fun", so always tried to make the first meeting a fun time or date. She might be a grown woman, but deep inside there will always be a little girl. and if you can find away to bring out that little girl to play once again you can score many points. If you can make her laugh, her body will begin to make love chemicals that will be sent to her brain saying this is a fun guy Where are you meeting? Is there a video game room nearby, you don't have to be good, just let the two of you play? How about window shopping for halloween things, look at the lights, the displays, etc. 17 years ago this weekend I was lucky enough to wangle a first date with a gal totally out of my league. First date was just so so, the second date was much better and I surprised her when I suggested for the third date she come over to may place to bake halloween cut out cookies. That brought out the little girl and we have been an item ever since. Three weeks ago, she brought home a bag of flour, just a hint it was time to get out the cookie cutters. The first batch is just about gone, and will be baking more this weekend. Playfulness is very important. It's great to be serious, but to be able to have fun and play really deepens a connection. I've done the same, made the guy laugh and have fun too, it makes people so much more at ease and it's very attractive.
Author NateC Posted October 13, 2012 Author Posted October 13, 2012 We're actually meeting at a pet store of all places (she's a big animal person) to do a bit of "shopping". It'll definitely be a casual setting for the first meeting and I fully intend on making it fun We're both 22, by the way.
River Rain Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 We're actually meeting at a pet store of all places (she's a big animal person) to do a bit of "shopping". It'll definitely be a casual setting for the first meeting and I fully intend on making it fun We're both 22, by the way. Oh that's fun! It's always a good time when you can watch the animals play. I personally like pet people, I find they have lots of compassion and kindness. Good luck!
maybealone Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 "Be yourself"...hmm. I've heard that so many times, and it seems I needed to hear it again. We're both very shy (as she's told me), so it should be interesting. I'll update after Monday! No one can ever hear that enough! I used to second guess what I said and did with a guy all the time, but now I just go with my gut. Because if he doesn't like the real me, I'd rather know sooner rather than later!
River Rain Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 No one can ever hear that enough! I used to second guess what I said and did with a guy all the time, but now I just go with my gut. Because if he doesn't like the real me, I'd rather know sooner rather than later! Yes, people often misrepresent themselves out of nerves or insecurity, and only show their true selves later on. That's not always a good thing if his true nature wasn't what I was looking for to begin with.
HeldbyGravity Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 I met this girl via OLD and she's well...really really nice and we definitely have a lot of chemistry. Ever get that feeling when you meet someone and start talking that it's like you've known each other for years? Yeah, that sort of thing. Well, she agreed to meet Monday. It's not really a "date" so to speak as I didn't mention it being one, but it's more of a way to finally meet her and see if she's the same in-person. We've talked TONS ...every day for the past week...so the question is - what's next? I don't want to go too quickly because of my own nerves or otherwise, but I also don't want to come off as not interested - because I am. So...what would be the best idea to show interest but not be too...overbearing? As I've never really dated it's a completely unfamiliar ground, so any pointers would be awesome. Via "OLD"? Please explain . I don't know what that means. I get what you mean with the connection thing though, sometimes you just meet someone and it's like "WOW, we WORK! We're good! This is awesome!". If you are interested in her That Way, try flirting a little bit- holding eye contact and seeing if she does it back, smiling, try meeting her with a nice hug. Joke around and tease her, if the connection you talked about DOES translate IRL like it does online or texting or calling, then it will come naturally. If you feel that she may like you back after a meeting or two, Make Those Intentions Clear! Better to get it out sooner rather than later when you're in too deep and fearing the worst. All it takes is literally saying, "Hey, I'm interested in you. Want to try a date some time?". For now, have fun with it! Enjoy it!
mtnbiker Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 Via "OLD"? Please explain . I don't know what that means. I get what you mean with the connection thing though, sometimes you just meet someone and it's like "WOW, we WORK! We're good! This is awesome!". If you are interested in her That Way, try flirting a little bit- holding eye contact and seeing if she does it back, smiling, try meeting her with a nice hug. Joke around and tease her, if the connection you talked about DOES translate IRL like it does online or texting or calling, then it will come naturally. If you feel that she may like you back after a meeting or two, Make Those Intentions Clear! Better to get it out sooner rather than later when you're in too deep and fearing the worst. All it takes is literally saying, "Hey, I'm interested in you. Want to try a date some time?". For now, have fun with it! Enjoy it! OLD = Online Dating (site)
HeldbyGravity Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 OLD = Online Dating (site) See, knowing that is gonna prevent a lot of future confusion, haha! Thanks.. 1
Author NateC Posted October 15, 2012 Author Posted October 15, 2012 Bit of an update ...just so happens I oversleep and my alarm doesn't wake me up, so I miss our meeting time because I wouldn't make it. On the bright side, she's willing to meet tonight instead. Oi...everything likes working against me sometimes.
HeldbyGravity Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 Bit of an update ...just so happens I oversleep and my alarm doesn't wake me up, so I miss our meeting time because I wouldn't make it. On the bright side, she's willing to meet tonight instead. Oi...everything likes working against me sometimes. LOL! Well it's A very good sign she is still willing to meet you! Best of luck, let us know how it turns out...
Author NateC Posted October 15, 2012 Author Posted October 15, 2012 LOL! Well it's A very good sign she is still willing to meet you! Best of luck, let us know how it turns out... Thanks. There's not a whole lot to do where she lives so we'll just be driving around. Should still be fun though.
Author NateC Posted October 16, 2012 Author Posted October 16, 2012 Update for those who care It went well. Pouring out so we couldn't really do much but drive around and talk. We both talked basically non-stop, but...it was missing that "spark". I'm not really attracted to her and any sort of flirting was non-existent. Well, was worth a shot anyway.
todreaminblue Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 "Be yourself"...hmm. I've heard that so many times, and it seems I needed to hear it again. We're both very shy (as she's told me), so it should be interesting. I'll update after Monday! yes being yourself i shard when you are shy.......but you did say that you felt like you have known her fro years when you speak ...hang on that thought going into the date.......and hopefully it will work out peachy....deb
todreaminblue Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 Update for those who care It went well. Pouring out so we couldn't really do much but drive around and talk. We both talked basically non-stop, but...it was missing that "spark". I'm not really attracted to her and any sort of flirting was non-existent. Well, was worth a shot anyway. hmmm i didnt read this before i posted above...do you honestly think you will feel a spark on the first date...sometimes you dont...you have to do more than one to truly know if you click with someone......but if you fly that way.....i wish you luck next time......i would give more than one date a go though ...first dates are often awkward plus you were stuck in a car.....to me one date is nto enough to get to know someone enough to discount...unless they are truly horrible and ask you to have a threesome with your sister or brother or something equally horrible...then you give the boot after a first date..sometimes sparks happen when the nerves go...try it ...or dont its up to you i wish you well.......deb
Author NateC Posted October 16, 2012 Author Posted October 16, 2012 hmmm i didnt read this before i posted above...do you honestly think you will feel a spark on the first date...sometimes you dont...you have to do more than one to truly know if you click with someone......but if you fly that way.....i wish you luck next time......i would give more than one date a go though ...first dates are often awkward plus you were stuck in a car.....to me one date is nto enough to get to know someone enough to discount...unless they are truly horrible and ask you to have a threesome with your sister or brother or something equally horrible...then you give the boot after a first date..sometimes sparks happen when the nerves go...try it ...or dont its up to you i wish you well.......deb I dunno. It wasn't awkward or anything...it was completely natural like we've known each other for much longer than the week we've been talking. Maybe I'll give it another shot.
HeldbyGravity Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 I'm conflicted on if I agree with your first instinct (no spark, no second date) or on todreaminblue's POV. On one hand, I wouldn't want a guy who wasn't Really interested in me to ask me on a date. But.... that happened with me and my first relationship, I was not attracted to him at all and felt no spark. But then I got to know him more intimately, and I did fall in love with him. So... do you think the circumstances had anything to do with the lack o spark? Like do you think it would've been easier if you could've actually gone out and done something? I know body language is a strong subconscious thing in attraction, so if you're not really looking at them moving around and reacting in certain ways.... I guess that COULD delay attraction. It's what you feel that matters here though!
Author NateC Posted October 16, 2012 Author Posted October 16, 2012 I'm conflicted on if I agree with your first instinct (no spark, no second date) or on todreaminblue's POV. On one hand, I wouldn't want a guy who wasn't Really interested in me to ask me on a date. But.... that happened with me and my first relationship, I was not attracted to him at all and felt no spark. But then I got to know him more intimately, and I did fall in love with him. So... do you think the circumstances had anything to do with the lack o spark? Like do you think it would've been easier if you could've actually gone out and done something? I know body language is a strong subconscious thing in attraction, so if you're not really looking at them moving around and reacting in certain ways.... I guess that COULD delay attraction. It's what you feel that matters here though! Guess it's worth another shot considering it was difficult to actually do anything. I asked her if she wanted to do something next week and we made some tentative plans. 1
Author NateC Posted November 1, 2012 Author Posted November 1, 2012 Okay so...I haven't updated this in a while. We went out again the next week (after I posted) and had a lot of fun at the local casino. And well...it seemed so natural to me when I was with her. We didn't hug or anything when we parted and went back home, but to me...what matters now is that we've still gotten closer since then. A couple of my friends have been pushing me to finally ask her if she has feelings for me...and to be honest, I think me being unsure about how I felt was caused by being rejected in the past when I was so sure there was something and nothing came out of it. So...I'm taking the big step and this Sunday will be when I get to see her again. Made plans to go to the movies (something we couldn't do be before because of our schedules, but I made time for it) and I'll see how it goes from there. It's a big step for me to try again ...and regardless of how it turns out I'll be more confident as a result.
Author NateC Posted November 3, 2012 Author Posted November 3, 2012 Triple-posting, but... With a bit of thought I'm going to take an even bigger step and ask her out that night. That is...barring anything actually going wrong (like what? I dunno). Here goes...
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