ReadMyThread Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 In my opinion, this s*** isn't even worth it lol. The FIRST TIME I have SERIOUSLY fall DEEP in love with someone, they cheat on me and then leave me for that person after us being together for so long? lol. Really? The first time I fall in love I get my damn heart crushed into a million pieces as if I never mattered to them? I remember how HAPPY I was BEFORE I met this girl. Before she did this to me. I was so happy. I was living life careless. Loving life. I even remember I was going to turn her down when she asked me to be her boyfriend because of how young she was. (She's 16) Oh how I wish I would of back then lol. Now I'm living my life miserable! Heartbroken and sad/mad every single day I wake up. Therefore, I ask myself, "why did I even put myself in this situation for something like this to happen?". "It wasn't even worth it." I mean yeah it made me stronger, more confident and realize the mistakes I made in the relationship and not to do so in the next but that does not compare to how hurt I am right now. How much pain she put me through. She ruined me. I'm working on moving on which seems impossible honestly, but I have made a promise to myself to not put me in this situation again. I'm done with this, forget that lol. I'm 19 years old, I turn 20 on December 8th. For now I'm just going to live my life while trying to recover if I ever do. Start to focus on me and begin going to college in January, then once I turn 21, start going to clubs to pick-up one night stands lol. I'm done with love. It isn't worth it. I've put an age limit to when I will begin letting myself love someone and that is 26. When I turn 26, THEN I will be able to love again but for now? No. People under the age of 26 have NO IDEA what they want in the person they want to be with forever therefore why even put your heart in that kind of situation when you KNOW that your just going to become heartbroken from that relationship? I KNOW what I want from the person I want to be with forever and she had it, but she just F***** me over in the end. Pointless. I can't go through this pain again and I will make sure I don't. If I get in any relationships before I turn 26 they are only going to be 2 months long and I'm going to not have sex with them for those 2 months. That way, when I break-up with them after those 2 months they won't be as hurt and I can just keep doing me without getting my s*** broke again like this. It's selfish I know, but hey, you have to do what's best for yourself right? I feel Love isn't worth. You find it, and once you have it, it get's taken advantage of. The break-ups I love the most are the people who have been together for like 4 years and then they get dumped because "The spark is gone" lmaooo. Or "I don't have feelings for you anymore." THEN B**** WHY DID YOU EVEN BEGIN TO!? lol. See what I'm saying? It's stupid. Forget it. It's a waste. I can't wait until I'm as happy as I was before I met this girl. Once I get there, love won't over-take that feeling.
Calico Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 Just masturbate and play video games until you feel ready for love. There is no rush. It's what I did at nineteen, too. Now? I love to love, and I won't give up on romance and togetherness only because one woman didn't share my needs and hopes and dreams, and decided that another man makes her more happy. Sucks, and I suffer a fair bit, but I'm not becoming a hermit because of it or give up on the powerful awesomeness that romantic love can be. Yes, when you love, you always take the risk that you'll hurt. In fact, you will almost always hurt because love and pain are two sides of the same thing, just like you can't have life without death. Brilliance is only brilliance against a dark background. You have to take it all, or you get nothing and miss out on one of the greatest emotions human beings are able to produce. There is a difference between love and obsession, and relationships are not about mutual ownership. People always change, everything always changes, and we are all works in progress. What causes you the pain is not the loss of the girl. What causes you the agony is your refusal to accept change. And you need to let go of that need to control others. You can't. There are no guarantees, no promises, no security. If you want to love and live more happily, you need to start trying to accept the groundlessness of life and flow with it, not cling to the want for certainty. 4
Author ReadMyThread Posted October 13, 2012 Author Posted October 13, 2012 Just masturbate and play video games until you feel ready for love. There is no rush. It's what I did at nineteen, too. Now? I love to love, and I won't give up on romance and togetherness only because one woman didn't share my needs and hopes and dreams, and decided that another man makes her more happy. Sucks, and I suffer a fair bit, but I'm not becoming a hermit because of it or give up on the powerful awesomeness that romantic love can be. Yes, when you love, you always take the risk that you'll hurt. In fact, you will almost always hurt because love and pain are two sides of the same thing, just like you can't have life without death. Brilliance is only brilliance against a dark background. You have to take it all, or you get nothing and miss out on one of the greatest emotions human beings are able to produce. There is a difference between love and obsession, and relationships are not about mutual ownership. People always change, everything always changes, and we are all works in progress. What causes you the pain is not the loss of the girl. What causes you the agony is your refusal to accept change. And you need to let go of that need to control others. You can't. There are no guarantees, no promises, no security. If you want to love and live more happily, you need to start trying to accept the groundlessness of life and flow with it, not cling to the want for certainty. lmao. Well when did you feel you were ready again?
Jingle14 Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 In my view no, it definitely isn't worth it. I'll never allow it to happen again.
esteem-jam Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 What Calico said, and ... One day you will meet HER, and you will have no choice but to go at it, or she will go away... I cant tell you when will it be, maybe not this week, month or year, but you will know when you meet her.
not-a-drive-by Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 A few months ago, I asked myself that question over an over again. The answer was no. And probably still no, because I am still hung up over him. I gave him my everything, I loved him to bits, only to be given a broken heart in return. I hated the idea of love. I saw couples on the street, and I wanted to scream out to them "break it off now, it's not worth it. It's not going to work out! Love is all lies!". It hurt so much seeing couples doing things we USED to do together. Reading your post reminded me of what my ex told me during his first break up with his ex. His ex cheated on him and he was torn. After that, he said to himself, that he would just go to clubs and bars, take girls home and have one night stands. He didn't want to give a f#ck about love anymore because he was so hurt by love. It was all words. It never eventuated because that's not who he is and he just wasn't bothered. He moved on. And about a year or two later, he found me. We had the most wonderful 2.5 years together, and he told me that I taught him what it really means to love someone. He was always chasing his previous ex and never had a real relationship like ours. I'm not sure what I am really trying to get at, but you will find love again, as you can see from my ex's experience. I sense anger from your post and pretty much in the "I-don't-give-a-f#ck" mode, but it will past. If having one night stands is what you don't normally do, don't do it. Don't hurt other girls because you are in pain. Karma will get you back. You are still young. If they cheated on you, they are not worth keeping. You are better than this. 1
Author ReadMyThread Posted October 13, 2012 Author Posted October 13, 2012 In my view no, it definitely isn't worth it. I'll never allow it to happen again. See. My point exactly. It's really not. LOVE YOURSELF. No one else! lol. That's my new motto.
Author ReadMyThread Posted October 13, 2012 Author Posted October 13, 2012 What Calico said, and ... One day you will meet HER, and you will have no choice but to go at it, or she will go away... I cant tell you when will it be, maybe not this week, month or year, but you will know when you meet her. I'll meet her I know that. Then once I meet her, we will be together for say about 2 or more years and then she will dump me and break my heart. lol. She will say, "the spark is gone" blah blah blah lol. Forget that. I'm not risking it. When I'm FULLY GROWN and FULLY MATURE, then I'll risk it. Age 26, like I said. lol. Perfect plan.
Author ReadMyThread Posted October 13, 2012 Author Posted October 13, 2012 A few months ago, I asked myself that question over an over again. The answer was no. And probably still no, because I am still hung up over him. I gave him my everything, I loved him to bits, only to be given a broken heart in return. I hated the idea of love. I saw couples on the street, and I wanted to scream out to them "break it off now, it's not worth it. It's not going to work out! Love is all lies!". It hurt so much seeing couples doing things we USED to do together. Reading your post reminded me of what my ex told me during his first break up with his ex. His ex cheated on him and he was torn. After that, he said to himself, that he would just go to clubs and bars, take girls home and have one night stands. He didn't want to give a f#ck about love anymore because he was so hurt by love. It was all words. It never eventuated because that's not who he is and he just wasn't bothered. He moved on. And about a year or two later, he found me. We had the most wonderful 2.5 years together, and he told me that I taught him what it really means to love someone. He was always chasing his previous ex and never had a real relationship like ours. I'm not sure what I am really trying to get at, but you will find love again, as you can see from my ex's experience. I sense anger from your post and pretty much in the "I-don't-give-a-f#ck" mode, but it will past. If having one night stands is what you don't normally do, don't do it. Don't hurt other girls because you are in pain. Karma will get you back. You are still young. If they cheated on you, they are not worth keeping. You are better than this. See. It's not worth it. 3 people so far said it isn't and 2 said it is lol. I bet more people would say it's not worth it than saying it is. lol. You seriously made me laugh out loud when I read you wanted to yell at couples saying "it's not going to work out" lmaoooo. I now do that too. There is this girl I work with who JUST married her husband and they have only been together for 1 year! lol. I told her, I said, "You two will be divorced. Give it 2 years." lol. I tell her all the time. lol. She is like 24 or 25. See. You two spent 2.5 years together and what happen? You got your s*** broke. Now your all hung up on him ever since and you have to live with that. Remember how happy you were before you met him? And how you didn't even WANT him before you met him? Remember the feeling you had the day after he broke up with you? Yeah. I'll never forget that feeling for sure. I hope you are doing better. I really do. I KNOW I will be in love again one day but I'm not letting that happen until WAAAAY later in my life. It's not worth taking the risk. And I won't be finding love. Love will be finding me. You are right about the last part though. I won't hurt anybody. I wouldn't want ANYONE to be in the pain I'm in right now. As for Karma? I can't WAIT until that hits my ex lol. UGH!
dreamstate83 Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 As someone going through a breakup, this thread kind of makes me laugh. I'm sure it's genuinely how you feel but from someone who has experienced those thoughts before let me let you in on a secret. You will say "Screw love! I don't need this BS in my life!" when a relationship is over. You will say "I'm glad that's done with" when you've moved on. Somewhere down the line, you will completely forget how you feel now and end up riding the love bus again. That's just life 4
stemac Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 No it's not worth it at all, you give your Heart to someone and all I've ever got Is it smashed to pieces, last one 9 weeks Ago, who broke my heart completely,
a.b Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 No one chooses to fall in love. You might say it will never happen to you again but you will probably meet a girl at some point and think to yourself yeah i'll just be friends. And then you'll spend so much time with her you will fall in love all over again. One of many possibility's for this to happen. But believe me it will happen, and you wont see it coming. 1
Jingle14 Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 See. It's not worth it. 3 people so far said it isn't and 2 said it is lol. I bet more people would say it's not worth it than saying it is. lol. You seriously made me laugh out loud when I read you wanted to yell at couples saying "it's not going to work out" lmaoooo. I now do that too. There is this girl I work with who JUST married her husband and they have only been together for 1 year! lol. I told her, I said, "You two will be divorced. Give it 2 years." lol. I tell her all the time. lol. She is like 24 or 25. See. You two spent 2.5 years together and what happen? You got your s*** broke. Now your all hung up on him ever since and you have to live with that. Remember how happy you were before you met him? And how you didn't even WANT him before you met him? Remember the feeling you had the day after he broke up with you? Yeah. I'll never forget that feeling for sure. I hope you are doing better. I really do. I KNOW I will be in love again one day but I'm not letting that happen until WAAAAY later in my life. It's not worth taking the risk. And I won't be finding love. Love will be finding me. You are right about the last part though. I won't hurt anybody. I wouldn't want ANYONE to be in the pain I'm in right now. As for Karma? I can't WAIT until that hits my ex lol. UGH! Me too, all the time!! I can't walk past a couple holding hands/arms around each other without saying, literally out loud and contemptuously, 'bullsh*t!', it's instantaneous. As someone going through a breakup, this thread kind of makes me laugh. I'm sure it's genuinely how you feel but from someone who has experienced those thoughts before let me let you in on a secret. You will say "Screw love! I don't need this BS in my life!" when a relationship is over. You will say "I'm glad that's done with" when you've moved on. Somewhere down the line, you will completely forget how you feel now and end up riding the love bus again. That's just life No chance, 16 months on I will never, ever forget this, forget how someone I adored and trusted could prove to be do disengenuous, cruel and hurtful. And I'm not bit of a kid, I'm in my 40's. No one chooses to fall in love. You might say it will never happen to you again but you will probably meet a girl at some point and think to yourself yeah i'll just be friends. And then you'll spend so much time with her you will fall in love all over again. One of many possibility's for this to happen. But believe me it will happen, and you wont see it coming. But one can choose not too, and that is the choice I am making, to never, ever let anyone get close. It might make for a lonely future but it's preferable to risking the damage my ex caused to me.
River Rain Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 Yes it's always worth it. Love is the best thing and the most important in my opinion. Sure, you'll get your heart torn to pieces now and then, but you will also find love again. I just got my heart battered, but I chose to force myself to move on and leave it in the past. Grieving is normal, wallowing in pain and pining over what could have been is just torturing yourself. You have to be strong, learn from the experience and never give up. This is how we live the other aspects of our lives, so why give up this one? Do you quit your job when you mess something up? Do you stop making friends if you have a fight with one? No...so why give up on finding love in your life? Doesn't make sense to me.
Calico Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 No chance, 16 months on I will never, ever forget this, forget how someone I adored and trusted could prove to be do disengenuous, cruel and hurtful. And I'm not bit of a kid, I'm in my 40's. "Forgetting" it isn't the goal. The goal is to accept it. To accept that you CANNOT control another person and their actions, needs, desires, thoughts, feelings. To accept that their decisions do NOT reflect on you! To accept that the good experiences are not diminished by their lack of permanence. Your job here is to learn that someone else's choices do not have to have such a fundamental impact on you unless YOU allow for that to happen. I'm not suggesting you just shrug it off, I know that's not possible (not easily anyway), but I am telling you that you CAN make a statement to yourself and say, "I will not let her poor choices prevent me from living MY life! I will not give her the power to stop me from experiencing love! I will not allow her decisions to control and restrict and limit my own happiness in the future!" That is the power you have. What you do right now instead is to punish yourself for something she did. Is that really healthy? Is that sane? What do you think you can achieve by that? She doesn't care, and dwelling on the past doesn't change what already happened. You can re-live it many more times, but that is a choice you make. What is the point, though? You didn't have a choice when it happened the first time. But every time you make it happen again in your mind, that IS a choice you make. You choose to continue feeling miserable. You can, if you want, make a different choice now. Do you want to? 3
Jingle14 Posted October 14, 2012 Posted October 14, 2012 (edited) "Forgetting" it isn't the goal. The goal is to accept it. To accept that you CANNOT control another person and their actions, needs, desires, thoughts, feelings. To accept that their decisions do NOT reflect on you! To accept that the good experiences are not diminished by their lack of permanence. Your job here is to learn that someone else's choices do not have to have such a fundamental impact on you unless YOU allow for that to happen. I'm not suggesting you just shrug it off, I know that's not possible (not easily anyway), but I am telling you that you CAN make a statement to yourself and say, "I will not let her poor choices prevent me from living MY life! I will not give her the power to stop me from experiencing love! I will not allow her decisions to control and restrict and limit my own happiness in the future!" That is the power you have. What you do right now instead is to punish yourself for something she did. Is that really healthy? Is that sane? What do you think you can achieve by that? She doesn't care, and dwelling on the past doesn't change what already happened. You can re-live it many more times, but that is a choice you make. What is the point, though? You didn't have a choice when it happened the first time. But every time you make it happen again in your mind, that IS a choice you make. You choose to continue feeling miserable. You can, if you want, make a different choice now. Do you want to? What I am doing is learning from the mistakes I made in trusting him with my heart and soul and am choosing to never make that mistake again with any other man. I am choosing to remain single and to focus on my life with my son, being a good mum and role model to him and to bring him up to have the respect to never treat anyone like that man treated me and also to never accept being treated that way himself. My other focus is my friends and my work. My ex can live the life he wants (or rather, the safe option which he'd been bored and stifled with for years but is now recreating, he's not man enough to live the life he actually wants and could have had with me) and that is his choice. I think that, out of the both of us, it will be him looking back in years to come with more regrets, not me. He may develop a conscience at some point and feel some guilt for how he treated someone who gave him nothing but unconditional love. I hope so anyway, on both counts. Edited October 14, 2012 by Jingle14
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