Why do people lie about small things?

[JVWood]

Hey, I was hoping you guys can help me out here a little. It's been playing in my mind for a couple of days and I was hoping if someone can shed some light.

 

I want to know why people lie about small things?

I mean small things like not made out of from the thin air, more like what this girl was telling was the truth, but changed it a little to make it sound more funny to tell.

I knew that she was lying because I can hear her hesitate while speaking, so I asked again and some how she hesitated and then changed her lie a little. So I know for sure she was telling me a half-truth lie.

This was not face to face talk by the way, it was just in a Skype call with others present in the call as well, if that helps.

 

The thing is, I really like this girl, I've had a crush on her for quite a while, we do jokingly flirt a little from time to time but nothing serious and we both know that.

With this lie she just told out of nowhere...I don't know if it's just me or if anyone feels the same way, but the attraction for her just kind of dropped by quite a bit and I can't get it out of my head.

I know it's a common thing, but seriously why though? If they are trying to make you like them more as a friend or beyond that, I really think lying would not help at all.

 

I know it's a small lie and I may seem like it's nothing, but I just can't get it out of my head, like why do people do that? Am I able to trust you with other things you will be telling me? etc.

I should add that I did have an ex who lied a lot and I had to break it off, it was too much to handle.

 

So if anyone could help me out with some suggestions as to why people lie about the little things and what could it possibly mean, that would be much appreciated.

 

Thanks.

[january2011]

Ego protection, coping mechanism, impression management, it could be due to a number of reasons.

 

To be honest, I'm not sure it actually matters in this case. You were burned badly because your ex lied a lot. This has become a trigger for you. This means that you need to either seek out a partner who is completely honest about everything (and it's not this girl) or seek a solution to make this less of a trigger.

[JVWood]

Thank you for your quick reply.

I was hoping to seek a solution to make this less of a trigger for me. I posted on here to see if anyone can help me to understand why people do this, maybe if I understand what their motives are behind their lies more, then I can possibly let the lie slide much easier than I am doing now.

With my ex, it was definitely ego protection and impression management.

But i'm not so sure with this girl that I have a crush on. Most likely she manipulated the story to get a better reaction from me. But with it being a lie and that I can tell it was, it's just done quite the opposite.

[january2011]

She may have lied to impress you and present a better version of herself. If that resulted in a loss of attraction for you then I wonder what would happen if she told more white lies. Or told a big lie. It may be part of her character or it may not be. You won't really know this until you get to know her a bit better.

 

On the one hand, you could consider that one white lie makes her a dishonest person or you could just accept that sometimes in social interactions, people exaggerate their anecdotes slightly to grease the wheels of banter.

 

I think you've also got to ask yourself how important it is to you to be with someone who doesn't lie about anything at all. From experience, most people lie about something at some time in their lives. Perhaps you need to work out what you can accept and what you can't. That is, do you require 100% honesty? It's not a bad thing to request that from a partner, but I also think that there needs to be a bit of flexibility. And if it seems that you are always trying to catch out your partner in a lie (whether subconsciously or not), it can be very difficult to sustain a long-term relationship.

[JVWood]

I know there isn't many people that would give you 100% honesty, so I'm not looking for someone who will be like that, or I'll be looking for a very long time.

But you're probably right with it to grease the wheels of banter.

It just kind of sucks when you are already good friends with someone, so obviously I like them as a person and lying just to impress or for banter is in my opinion not needed, it does more damage when it fails to work. I just like someone for who they are and not just someone who lies to be liked.

I just think a lot of people need to realize this.

 

But yeah, I just have to learn to cope with it and be more flexible with it, maybe it was just nothing and it was just said for better banter and reaction from me.

 

I do appreciate your help, thank you

[Robert Z]

"The superior man cannot be known in little matters but may be entrusted with great concerns." (Analects, bk. xv., c. xxxiii.)

[todreaminblue]

Hey, I was hoping you guys can help me out here a little. It's been playing in my mind for a couple of days and I was hoping if someone can shed some light.

 

I want to know why people lie about small things?

I mean small things like not made out of from the thin air, more like what this girl was telling was the truth, but changed it a little to make it sound more funny to tell.

I knew that she was lying because I can hear her hesitate while speaking, so I asked again and some how she hesitated and then changed her lie a little. So I know for sure she was telling me a half-truth lie.

This was not face to face talk by the way, it was just in a Skype call with others present in the call as well, if that helps.

 

The thing is, I really like this girl, I've had a crush on her for quite a while, we do jokingly flirt a little from time to time but nothing serious and we both know that.

With this lie she just told out of nowhere...I don't know if it's just me or if anyone feels the same way, but the attraction for her just kind of dropped by quite a bit and I can't get it out of my head.

I know it's a common thing, but seriously why though? If they are trying to make you like them more as a friend or beyond that, I really think lying would not help at all.

 

I know it's a small lie and I may seem like it's nothing, but I just can't get it out of my head, like why do people do that? Am I able to trust you with other things you will be telling me? etc.

I should add that I did have an ex who lied a lot and I had to break it off, it was too much to handle.

 

So if anyone could help me out with some suggestions as to why people lie about the little things and what could it possibly mean, that would be much appreciated.

 

Thanks.

 

 

White lies are often told by everyone........i like honesty too but i have told white lies....and thats honesty......i am able to be trusted however my fries and family know that....white lies can be told when the other person is uncomfortable for some reason...it could be more important that something wasnt said that was actually said....does that make sense to you...does to me which is scary.........white lies are told for many reasons...white lies are often told to protect someone...

 

example

 

(no your haircut really suits you, dont worry about it the dont worry about it part is true the first part is a protection lie)....dont worry about it translation .....hair grows back thank god))

 

a protection lie from feeling bad abotu a really horrid haircut.....

 

 

I would worry more about the truths told on a regular basis than the white lies......i am sorry you had an ex who lied....doesn't mean this girl is going to do the same thing to you....give it a chance see how it goes.......i would.....lying about little things is not the same as lying about cheating that is never a white lie or going somewhere and telling someone you didn't or you went somewhere else .....thats a true lie.....white lies constantly though would be an issue....thats my opinion....i woudl give her a chance..let her know about your ex and that you would prefer truth to be told .......i wish you luck and hopefully a happy honest not many white lies relationship.....deb

[mario_C]

Oh, I thought this was another penis thread. Carry on.