boywonder123 Posted October 12, 2012 Posted October 12, 2012 Heres a quick summary on our situation and let me know if you guys think this relationship is heading in the right direction or not. - Met through friends and went on a few terrific dates - Have a lot in common in terms of personality and goals in life - Both have stable jobs making equal income and come from good family - Im 29 shes 28 and both got off 3 year relationship, which didnt work out because there were too many arguments and felt the relationship wasnt growing anywhere. its been 6 months since the breakup for me, and 4 months for her. - first 2 months of dating was perfect, she was very kind and easy going. basically a NICE GIRL - i officially asked her out to be my gf and this is where it got a bit rocky - had sex and it wasnt the greatest, i honestly came prematurely but tahts because i havent done it in a long time and she got really upset on my performance. Few more tries the next several days/weeks and my "performance" improved and she wasnt complaining. - We have had several minor arguments in terms of how to cook, where to eat, etc.. because she is a picky person. but those arguments were quickly resolved the same night or next day by her apologizing. - One thing i like about this girl is that when shes wrong she apologizes and learns from it. But i feel that shes apologizing a lot about her actions/decisions too early in the relationship which makes me question if this is a good thing or not. examples of minor arguments are: getting lost when trying new restaurants, not cooking a certain dish a certain way, frustration on finding parking in downtown, im not touching her a certain way during s ex, etc.. its mostly her complaining or being picky. in my previous relationships we rarely had arguments, but when we do the girl never said sorry. This girl is different, we have minor arguments like once a week and she apologies quickly. could this be a red flag? or a good trait? Im very confused and can go either way in this 4 month relationship. Shes a terrific girl and has everything ive been looking for. Im just worried these small arguments could become frequent in the future. thoughts? will this work or not work in your opinion?
CarrieT Posted October 12, 2012 Posted October 12, 2012 From all you are describing, it doesn't sound good... All you are talking about are the problems and the only really good thing is that she "learns from arguments." This does not bode well...
Mycteria Posted October 12, 2012 Posted October 12, 2012 It's great that she learns from arguments but having weekly arguments would still get on my nerves pretty quick. It sounds like a roller coaster ride, and not in a good way.
sour_pikle Posted October 12, 2012 Posted October 12, 2012 You found a woman that admits when she is wrong, appologizes for whatever the issues were AND dosen't some how find a way to shift the blame on you from somthing she did???? KEEEEP HER!!!!
Author boywonder123 Posted October 12, 2012 Author Posted October 12, 2012 You found a woman that admits when she is wrong, appologizes for whatever the issues were AND dosen't some how find a way to shift the blame on you from somthing she did???? KEEEEP HER!!!! for the first 2 posters, YES that what i was thinking, sounds like a roller coaster ride But these are minor issues. and for sour pickle tahts the other reason why i cant decide. its RARE to find a girl that admits shes wrong. i somehow feel/believe that once all the "kinks" are out of the way then it should be smooth sailing? ive never been with a girl like this, so i would like some insight for anyone thats dating a girl like this and your thoughts if its worth it.
Leigh 87 Posted October 12, 2012 Posted October 12, 2012 My boyfriend and I started to argue about issues a few months in, badly at times, but the time passed; I knew I was in the wrong, even if at times he did a few tihngs wrong, the way I dealt with his actions was not ideal. Some relationships recover from arguing, some do not. Mine did and the arguing got quiet bad at times, for various reasons (that are unique in each relationship). We loved each other though and felt too bonded to give up, so put up with way more than couples who are less attached, I think. In my experience, you only put up with things that are worth it to keep the person; in past relationships, they have ened for me with far LESS arguing and issues than I once had in my relationship (which has few issues now besides my mental issues that stay within my own head) Staying to get more attached, before realising the arguing is a dealbreaker wil SUCK; are you prepared to RISK becoming more attached, in the name of finding new love and being happy with her?
mtber75 Posted October 12, 2012 Posted October 12, 2012 To me it seems that she has a self esteem issue. To constantly apologize over minor issues is a big red flag...That she don't have the self confidences in her own decisions/judgements so she has to apologies for them! Also its not good if she's complaining so early in the relationship?
mortensorchid Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 Weekly arguements? About what? Because I'm here to tell you it doesn't matter whether you are with the person for 20 months or 20 years, you will be fighting about the same stuff over and over again. But if it's violent or annoying, then that's another story.
Author boywonder123 Posted October 30, 2012 Author Posted October 30, 2012 just wanted to give everyone an update here. i gave her another few weeks to see where the relationship will go. At first it seemed like everything was going well and then the petty minor arguments kept creeping up and she did not learn from them. I realize this will be a nuisance later on so I ended up breaking up with her. thanks to those who posted, great advise!
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